SB LI… What I Saw.

Super Bowl LI
February07/ 2017

SB LI… What I Saw.

Has EVERYONE in your daily universe expressed their considerable opinion on EVERY miniscule aspect of SB LI (that’s “Super Bowl Lie” for those of you in Dogpatch USA). …. Your Crazy Uncle LeRoy … his 3rd wife LaVerne … that bag boy at Kroger’s with the severe overbite … the weekend weather bimbo on EyeWitness News Channel 34 … have they all pontificated on All Things Super Bowl Lie? If not I can wait another day or so.

After L years – 50 years for you not-Romans – that football game that Lamar Hunt named after his grandson’s bouncy ball over a half century ago has now penetrated to the deepest inner core of The Planet.

In Rambo III or IV, “John” has retreated to a remote Tibetan monastery to help the monks install a hot tub or some such, when Colonel Trautman (“Luke”Rambo from The Real McCoys) recruits him to get tortured with a blow torch by Russians before once again blowing up a Russkie helicopter gunship with a slingshot. That remote Tibetan monastery now has a Wild Wings R Us franchise so even in deepest Tibet they argued “Did Lady Gaga say ‘under God’ or not?” … she DID but don’t let the Truth stop a good food fight between monks

If I say anything over the next several 100 words you have not heard umpteen versions of… yell GERONIMO and I’ll highlight it.

I watched SB LI from the exact same chair in the exact same room on the exact same 32” Samsung HDTV that I watched all those other really really exciting Championships over the past twelve months. It has been a quite unbelievable string of quite exciting sports events ….

Villanova vs RoyzBoyz …. LeBron vs Steph …. Cubs vs Chief Wahoo …. Dabos vs The Nicks …. and now Trump’s BFF vs That Team with the QB NOT The G.O.A.T.  Even go back to that KC Royals World Series Game 5 vs Mets. …. In my not short lifetime I cannot recall a series of Humdingers to match these. Can you?

NOTE: Albert, have you figured out yet what GOAT means? It’s hip sports lingo for Greatest Of All Time. Millennial Hipster Sports Talk Guys like to have Greatest Of All Time debates with their very very angry mouth-breathing audiences. GOAT debates are guaranteed to do that.

The quickest and bloodiest sports debate of late is How awful of a human being is Joe Buck? Human hairballs with visceral hatred for Joe Buck (or Joe Buckany sportscaster) do NOT occupy positions of responsibility in civilized societies. FWIW…. America is no longer considered “a civilized society” so Joe Buck-Haters are liable to be anywhere. FWIW2…. People who “hate Joe Buck” tend to “hate” a long list of other stuff.  No surprise there.

So… back to Lady GaGa (“LG”). My creds as a concert / music critic are – my concert experiences over the past 40 years = Neil Diamond in Dallas in 1982 …. Being a security guard for Paul McCartney at Carter-Finley in 1990 …. and Scotty McCreary at PNC several years ago courtesy of none-other-than THE Bob Kennel. Suffice to say I am not Concert-savvy.

My daughter is a BIG Taylor Swift Swifty so I know that TS is among that handful of mega-bazillion $$$ concert superstars along with this Lady Gaga person. That whozit that rode the mechanical elephant at SB L – Katy Perry ?? – is in that handful too. No clue where Neil Diamond ranks these days.

I watched “LG” for the same reason you did…. if you did. Will LG drop from the sky wearing a burka and one of those pointy pink beanie things screaming F*** Trump and proceed to set fire to a lifesize replica of KellyAnne Conway? She did not. I was glad she did not. A lot of HateTrumpers are not glad she did not.  Even Lady GaGa can’t please everyone I suppose.

A local sports talk guy and I Twitter-jousted about the above. The e-conversation was strained. I don’t think he likes me…. sigh, sniff.

ASIDE:  How many of you think Kennel has one of those cute (?) little pointy HateTrump caps he wears while doing hot yoga?

There actually was a worldwide Twitter debate ongoing during the first half that LG was going to perform a Satanic Ritual. I could not understand A Up With PeopleSINGLE WORD of any of her songs. Literally not A SINGLE WORD. FWIW3… I have not understood a single word of ANY SB halftime show since Up With People sang I’d Like To Teach The World To Sing back in SB III or IV.

Back To The Game… In each of those Humdinger Thrillas noted above, I had no vested emotional attachment to either participating team. I don’t “bet” so really it did not matter to me who won. Yes… that applies to ‘Nova vs RoyzBoyz. My level of estrangement from “over there” is quite complete.

I watched each of those championship games only interested in the High Drama as it unfolded. It is a healthy way to be… I think. I appreciate that most of humanity DOES get emotionally involved. I used to… I like “my way now” better.

I appreciate that a significant % of fans HATE Tom Brady because (list standard Top Ten Hate Tom Brady Reasons… with/without “Trump Factor”). I don’t and “my buddy Art” doesn’t. Art loves Tom Brady.  Same with Bill Belichek. I reserve “love” for family – kittens – Brunswick stew… and reruns of RoadHouse.

Did you know there is a cult of PatriotHaters who want them “impeached” for having too many short white wide receivers? ESPN will probably have Jemele Hill conduct a Town Hall on “How many little white guys are too many in The NFL?”

The Did Patriots Win … or Did Falcons Choke debate is out there stirring up the mouth-breathers. I just thought it was A Great Comeback PERIOD. Had NE missed either 2-pt try, they lose.

I’m fine with anointing Tom Brady as GOAT. I’m fine with anointing Bill Belichek as GOAT. I’m fine with Terrell Owens NOT getting into NFL HoF… or if he eventually does. I’m fine with Joe Buck having “stubble” or being clean-shaven. I think Erin Andrews is way over-rated for whatever it is she does; but she is probably a nice person so I’m not going to let it bother me.

I did not have a favorite commercial. I have never shopped at an 84 Lumber store and I probably won’t now. That Falcons’ owner Arthur Bank is co-founder of Home Depot is ironic I think.

Albert, when I figure out what a “mic drop” is, or “throwing shade” I will let you know.

A Baby Boomer’s Lament: More and more and more with each passing year…. I am no longer anyone’s “target demographic” when it comes to advertising and product marketing. Each year in early February I am reminded of that. I’m OK with that too…


Joaquin de AlmeidaThere is a new TV series – Training Dayon CBS on Thursdays. Based on Denzel’s movie of the same name. It is Lethal Weapon on steroids…. rogue cop (white guy) & naïve idealist rookie partner (black guy) battle very eeevil cartel baddies in LA back alleys and fancy digs.  The eeevil sadistic cartel boss is played by Joaquin de Almeida. You don’t recognize his name but when you see him you will say “OMG It’s That Guy Again”. Joaquin ALWAYS plays sadistic cartel drug kingpins. If you’ve seen Clear & Present Danger 23 times like I have, you know Joaquin. Watch Training Day just to see Joaquin again.


AgentPierce wants Betsy DeVos to “kick butt and ………. by Friday” – CLICK

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