Scandals Aplenty on Tobacco Road

Scandal
BobLee
December24/ 2016

Scandals Aplenty on Tobacco Road !!

So what’s wrong with NC State? In the past ten days The Western Hemisphere has been ROCKED with Scandals involving Three of Tobacco Road’s Fabled Big Four Collegiate Sports Programs:

Wake Forest’s WakeyLeaks ….
UNCCH’s Latest NOA (yawn) … and
Duke’s Latest White Boy Goes Bonkers

…. But nary a whisper of scallywaggery from The Brickyard in West Raleigh ???   Alls quiet twixt Hillsborough Street and Western Blvd…….. for now.

WakeyLeaks has had its 15 minutes of ESPN super saturation. ACC Commissioner a/k/a “The Swoff” has given his traditional ACC Integrity Uber Alles speech which he gives for any/all ACC scandals not involving his Alma Mater.

Did you all see where Frank Beamer’s son admitted getting game plan info from Tommy The Weasel Elrod in 2014? He (Sean / Shane) is now an Asst Coach at Georgia. Georgia promptly fined him $25,000 for answering a phone call from Elrod while he was employed at VaTech ??? Sean never told Frank (nor did he tell Bobby Petrino or Rick Pitino) but apparently Georgia figured they could score some “We don’t cotton to such foolishness between the hedges” points by levying the fine on young Beamer. That makes no sense whatsoever but nothing new about that.

OK…. Which do we discuss next? UNCCH or Duke?

Lets go with Duke and Allen Grayson / Grayson Allen Whatever…Grayson Allen

There has been a permanent and persistent conversational drumbeat for several decades about the obvious fact that 96% of on-court playing time in Big Time College Basketball is allocated to YBMs (Young Black Men).  3.7% of the remaining 4% goes to kids from Eastern Europe, Australia and “places you can’t find without an advanced degree in world geography”.

The standard justification for this dramatic statistic is that YBMs are simply genetically engineered to be better in Basketball than other ethnicities. YBMs can (1) jump higher and (2) have no interest in staying in college more than a semester and a half. While THAT might be true, we now have more than sufficient proof of the real compelling reason….

Young Caucasian Americans (YCAs) are simply too emotionally unstable to withstand the rigors of Big Time College Basketball. This latest Proof Positive at The Krzyzewski Institute for Abnormal Caucasian Behavior pretty much seals the deal.

If your school actively recruits “white boys” it is not a matter of “if” but “when” they will “go bonkers”. Sure, recruiting an occasional “white kid” might appease a few Fat Cats who notice the otherwise non-diversity of your roster and ask “how come, coach?”; but a coach in a Power Five conference that recruits these “pale-skinned ticking time bombs” is going to regret it.  What good they might make to his team’s GPA average will be offset when they “lose it” on the court and starting crying and throwing towels and stuff .

God in His infinite wisdom created Division III and intramurals for “white boys”. The pressures of The Big Dance are simply too much for a Caucasian psyche.

Facts don’t lie…. Christian Laettner – Bobby Hurley – JJ Riddick – Quinn Snyder – Wojo – Danny Ferry – Chris Collins – Hellfire, go all the way back to Art “The Pest” Heyman – and now Allen Grayson / Grayson Allen Whatever.

 

 

FYI: Did you know there are more spelling for JJ’s last name than Eskimos have words for “snow”?  Redick – Riddick – Reddick – Ridick – etc etc.  Thats not counting the obscene ones.

For purposes of brevity, we won’t even get into Tyler Hansbrough – Dirty Dan Wells – John Roche – Marc Ivaroni – Tim Stoddard – John Ribock – Mark Mirken … etc etc etc.  All notorious… all Caucasian !!!!

The Duke Experiment in Abnormal Caucasian Behavior now has enough solid evidence to justify The NCCA banning “white boys” from playing Big Time College Basketball.  It is embarrassing enough that so many of’em can’t dunk and don’t have nearly enough tattoos; but the on-court temper tantrums can no longer be tolerated.

You all know what happened this week. Grayson Allen Grayson tripped YET ANOTHER opponent.  #3 for anyone counting… and A LOT of you are.  Victim #3 was another white kid ironically from Elon. Elon ??? Coach K was appalled and made him sit down on the bench…. where he promptly “went nutz”. “K” then lowered the boom suspending his serial miscreant for the rest of that half. YIKES!

Meanwhile two former Duke players, both named Jay – Jay Williams and Jay Bilas – blistered their former coach on national TV for his less than appropriate judication of the situation. ESPN analyst Seth Greenberg was REALLY going nuts about it, but who much cares what he thinks.

Postgame Coach K gave the standard “I’m Coach K (Saban, Bilichek, Popovich) speech about “it’s MY program and you all can go pound sand so there …..”

Overnight Mike was told what The Two Jays had said so he changed his mind and has now “suspended” his multi-tripping miscreant “indefinitely”.

Whatever Mike’s idea of indefinitely turns out to be…. it will be considerably less than the definition in the minds of everyone on Earth who “hates Duke because ….”. The Franklin Street Chapter of We Really Hate Duke has already defined “indefinitely” as “one day longer than when The Great Unpleasantness is resolved”. That would assure that Grayson Allen Grayson will never set foot in Cameron Indoor EVER again.

What do I think? Not that my opinion matters any more than Seth Greenberg’s but …. I’d probably go for a minimum of five ACC games…. Plus “if he ever does anything stoopid again he gets barred from ever playing competitive basketball again ANYWHERE EVER.”

I haven’t heard if The Swoff repeated his ACC Integrity Uber Alles speech about this Duke Mess but he probably did or he will at some point.

####

OK… now to The Latest NOA From NCAA to The University of The People. For those of you having a hard time keeping all these alphabet things straight. NOA = Notice Of Allegation. LOIC = Lack Of Institutional Control. CYA = Cover Your A**. ABC = Anybody But Carolina. TGU = The Great Unpleasantness.

The specifics of this latest NOA can be found by contacting any member of the ABC Lynch Mob. If you are not one you surely know one. Swing a cat in The Triangle and you’ll hit one. Alls I know is that it gets “us” imperceptibly closer to:

What I have hoped for all along….Dick Baddour

And that is …. “Call Me Dickie” Baddour and The Swoff and Ol Roy too going UNDER OATH in a Court of Law in front of a packed courtroom and an global audience of billions and melting into whimpering puddles of goo.

When a no-nonsense (and, hopefully, non-alumni of UNC Law) judge peers down at Messrs Baddour / Swofford / Williams and reminds them that “the penalty for perjury” is a minimum of “a long time in a hoosegow being the prom date for Big Enos

… You caMelting Nazisn imagine Baddour and Swofford melting like those Nazis at the end of that first Indiana Jones movie. Ol’ Roy won’t “get it” and will babble some unintelligible series of Royisms until two burly bailiffs frog march him out of the courtroom

… There will be a dozen or so other co-conspiring perps who will “go under oath” too including Julius (assuming he is in not in hiding in a non-extradition 3rd world hellhole) and Jan and Deb too.

 

“My buddy” Art will have a kiosk outside the courthouse peddling copies of his dozen or so coffee table books on Dean Smith: Man Or Messiah Or Both.

This is pretty much SURE to “go to court” now.   The downside of “it’s going to court” is, of course, it likely won’t happen during either Trump Administration taking us to 2024 minimum. UNC cadre of deep-pocketed Hedge Fund Fat Cats will keep their army of attorneys on retainer thereby stimulating their individual economies.

I fully intend to stick around to see it whenever. You know I do love CHAOS…. and “Hoots”. This will be both.

NOTE: I WILL have a special Christmas Column either tomorrow (Christmas) or shortly thereafter.

###

BobLee

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ultraviolet
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ultraviolet

Someday a person out to get to the bottom of the TGU will roll a couple of ball bearings in hand and proclaim ” Ahh, but the strawberries that’s… that’s where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt and with… geometric logic… that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox DID exist, and I’d have produced that key if they hadn’t of pulled the Caine out of action. I, I, I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow officers… “

Dudley Moore
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Dudley Moore

“Morons. I’ve got morons on my team.” — Strother Martin in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wt87mXL_ftg

TarSpartan
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TarSpartan

“Penalty for Perjury?” I thought that was abolished in 1998. Or does that only apply to Democratic Presidents?

Paul Coder
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Paul Coder

After reading the comments about my old teammate Dan Wells, I remembered something long forgotten. In preseason practice of my freshman year, we were scrimmaging against the varsity and I took an elbow to the face from Dan. It broke my nose. I didn’t consider it a “dirty” play, just part of the rough and tumble of being a front court player of that era. I wore one of those masks in practice for a couple of days, but soon discarded it. I do recall that one of the commentaters at that time suggested that Dan form a tag team… Read more »

Bob
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Bob

Dean Smith , Man or Messiah. That is beautiful BobLee,

Oldalphawolf
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Surely only you and I (and probably BK) remember Dirty Dan Wells..and yes, I would agree with the characterization of Debbie’s NCAA complance staff.

Van
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Van

K-son Allen needs a serious timeout. Three trips in 9 months? He needs another vacation. Even the national media called Coach K out and rightly so. His sanctimonious, holier-than-thou attitude is old.

Doug
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Doug

Maybe Grayson needs to work on his defensive footwork against the dribble drive. Getting beat off the dribble by a wb Elon player often does not bode well for even a Duke player trying to make a splash in the NBA. Un-quick 6’5″ wb’s, even those who have some ups are a dime a dozen. Better learn to shoot from behind the arc consistently or else.

NCSU68Grad
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NCSU68Grad

Technically, you need to add an few new acronyms. The NCAA calls their latest blast an ANOA (Ammended Notice of Allegations). So it is really NOT a NOA. but an ANOA. They need to start Rev Levels or numerical designations so that one can stay abreast of them. To not disappoint, the HB2 madness fulfilled EVERY fantasy that a political junkie and a long time watcher of political drama could provide. The polls STILL show that about 70% of NC voters SUPPORT the Don’t Pee in the Wrong Place portion. That is primarily FEMALES….who then convince their mates to SUPPORT… Read more »

DoctorMu
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DoctorMu

Even more technically, The NCAA enforcement staff/COI NOA is an AANOA (Amended amended Notice of Allegations).. Greg Sankey (COI Chair) was not satisfied with UNC’s response to the (weakened) NOA 1. Go pound sand – you have no jurisdiction over academic matter and the student-athlete 2. SACS (Southern Association of Colleges and Schools) probation documents/correspondence, Weinstein, Original NOA should be off the table 3. Double Jeopardy AANOA: We don’t think so. SACS and UNC admitted fraud. Weinstein shows how. ONOA is back… and on steroids this time. You’re on Double Secret Probation until the COI hearing, where we’re going to… Read more »

ETF
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ETF

Re: Donna Mills. If I’m not mistaken (and Google isn’t mistaken) she is in her 70s and never married. ?? ??

Thomas.R
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Thomas.R

So, would Kennel be OK with his wife, daughter, grandchildren sharing a restroom or lockerroom with males transgendered and otherwise?

Doug
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Doug

Nice read. However Larry Bird would not approve of your broad brush description of WB’s. Merry Christmas but please refrain from other posts until I finish binge watching Christmas movies on The Hallmark Channel.?

Babs.In.Derm
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Babs.In.Derm

Laughed all the way through this one! Tobacco Road ain’t what it used to be! Another android at Duke, well, behaving like an adroid! I didn’t hear what either of the Jays said, but I’d be more interested in Bilas’ take on the situation.

Marilyn.76
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Marilyn.76

Is “skin color” as misleading in Basketball as it is in MLB? If “black players” who are Caribbean / Cuban / Latin American “don’t count” as “black”; then “white players” in Basketball who are Euros or Aussies et al don’t count as “white”. Is that correct?

Bob Kennel
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Bob Kennel

Oh my, oh my! 100 per cent agreement with a BobLee blog is so dangerous. But it is Christmas Eve, and I can’t afford to think such thoughts. It was disturbing enough that Franklin (fell far from the tree) Graham feels that God intervened in the federal elections. That’s very Russian UnOrthodox thought. Plus MooreBerger at State level. As far as Duke justice is concerned, tripping is more dangerous than hitting a toe with a moped. As far as TGU is concerned, you need to know Debbie’s NCAA staff mafia to know why I sleep well at night. So bottom… Read more »

Doug
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Doug

RE: “Debbie’s NCAA staff mafia.” It’s a relief to know that there is a model of institutional virtue over yonder in west Raleigh. ?

HokieJay
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HokieJay

FYI, young Beamer’s first name is Shane. Merry Christmas to you and yours and thanks for another great year of columns. – HokieJay

DrVinnyboombatz
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DrVinnyboombatz

This 3rd NOA basically came about because the COI would not approve the very “wrist slap style” sanctions that UNC and their legal legions were proposing.The new NOA once again turns back the timeline for resolution. The earliest we can have a conclusion to TGU is about the beginning of the ’17-’18 academic year. I predict there will be other legal tricks and maneuvers by the UNC minions to further push things back. The NCAA has to put up with the foolishness because they must follow their bylaws or any sanctions that they hand down to UNC will be overturned… Read more »

Inspector Clouseau
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Inspector Clouseau

The Jenkins vs. NCAA lawsuit is the core driver for the NCAA’s pathway at this point. If NCAA loses that one, they will have to share the money with athletes. NCAA doesn’t want to share the money with athletes. Not taking anything from your comment, DrVinny, because that is one element, albeit arguably a secondary one. the NCAA will charge what is easiest to prove and transcripts are very clear from 2002-2011. Those transcripts are like someone committing a crime on video and smiling and waving at the camera. The NCAA knows the truth is in the transcripts. Mary is… Read more »

Inspector Clouseau
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Inspector Clouseau

Oh, the Jenkins vs. NCAA challenges the “student-athlete” status which is the foundation of the NCAA’s existence. The TGU is firmly entangled in this mess as it appears (cough, cough) that the “students” are actually semi-pro athletes and should be compensated as such. Lots of documentation, thanks to Mr. Wainstein (I wonder if his offer to finish the investigation at half price still stands?) to support the semi-pro argument. At the same time, UNC-CH is part of that same system. So the NCAA and UNC-CH are “frienemies”. Strange, huh? Another way to express your point, DrVinny, it’s like UNC-CH got… Read more »

wolfdon
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wolfdon

Funny!
Don’t forget that Maryland is licking it’s chops to get any Duke cast offs just in case Grayson loses it again.

Brent
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Brent

I just used the “Speak” tool on my iPhone for Siri to read this blog to me while I drive. Not quite the same as reading it and imagining you narrating it. Which brings me to a question – you like audio books so much – have you ever thought about recording your own narration of your blogs so your readers can do the same?

Frank.Wilmington
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Frank.Wilmington

Damn You BobLee…. I spewed coffee all over my keyboard 1/2 thru the “Young Caucasian Psyche” bit before I could get to “Dickie melting like a Nazi”. I had to wait til my keyboard dried out. It was worth it.
.
I totally agree that TGU is now assured of AT LEAST another 5-6 years.