…Germans bombed Pearl Harbor!

German Pearl Harbor
BobLee
October21/ 2016

Earlier this week…. on one of those innocuous ESPN “blah blah yadda yadda” shows with A Diverse Panel of Self-Absorbed Millennials; the subject was Cubs fans giving up when the Cubs were down 1-2 to the Dodgers.

An ESPN she-whozit – Sarah Spain – used the phrase “….. did we give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor.

IMMEDIATELY Twitter-verse blew up calling the ESPN she-whozit all sorts of nasty names for being so stupid and thinking “the Germans” bombed Pearl Harbor. THUD…. CLUNK.Belushi

OF COURSE she was using a “famous” quote from Animal House where John Belushi’s character “Bluto” goes “on a roll” to his Delta brothers. Alas, not as “famous” a quote as she thought it was.

It was a classic case of “outkicking one’s audience’s coverage” ….. “mis-underestimating the clueless factor” of one’s audience. Stand-up comedians who do that never graduate beyond “open mic” night.    It is the author/speaker’s responsibility to reach the audience’s level…. not vicey versy.

As you regular readers know…. my dear dear dear friend “Albert” has never seen Animal House…. or Caddyshack or Godfather.  He is a global minority of ONE with that particular trifecta.

In that last Ian Fleming column I noted that “Kick Butt Carrie” my CFO has “never seen a Bond movie”. She well-earned her name “Kick Butt Carrie” so I simply blinked really hard when she told us…. while thinking “WHOA”.

Last night at dinner with a “very aware” couple we were discussing books we had read.  Being able to discuss “books we have read” is a MUST criteria if you merit ten minutes of my Life.  The “she” of “Reacherhe & she” asked if I had read any of Daniel Silva’s Gabriel Allon books which, of course, I can now say “well, of course, hasn’t everyone.” Having the day before finished my first one.

I noted that the second “Jack Reacher” movie (with Tom Cruise ??) starts today. The “he” of “he & she” asked, with a straight face, …. “Who is Jack Reacher?”. WHAAAA? For readers of popular “thriller/crime fiction” that is like a Christian asking “Who is this Apostle Paul guy?”. “He” did know who “Mitch Rapp” was…. Thankfully.

A classic example of “outkicking one’s audiemce” happened to me 7-8 years ago speaking to 500 nice, average Rapid City SD citizens. My 2nd book was just out – Seersucker Suits Me – so I was wearing – duh – a seersucker suit. In hindsight I confused SOUTH Dakota with “the South” ?? …. (Insert Lorenzo Charles or Cozell McQueen quote)Rapid City

My opening schtick was based on “a seersucker suit” and Ben Matlock and Atticus Finch et al. The staple uniform for every Southern lawyer…. Yeah, I just outkicked 65% of you with “Atticus Finch”…. Anyhoooo, nothing but crickets from the assembled 500 Rapid Citians. I stumbled thru another fifteen minutes sinking deeper and deeper into quicksand. A joke about “drunken Indians” didn’t have quite the effect I hoped for. I hear the angry mob is still searching for me around Mt Rushmore.

Reminded me of a line from a former N&O reporter after Duke Lacrosse…. “I thought exotic dancers actually danced exotically.”

Of course, A LOT of viewers DID get the “Germans / Pearl Harbor” reference but those people don’t use social media to say “I got it….. cool.”

I regularly check the website AwfulAnnouncing.com which posts pieces about ESPN, FS1, sports ratings, which sportscaster is Most Hated, what Skip Bayless had for breakfast, etc etc. That’s where I learned about thPaul Finebaume she-whozit and the Germans.

The ONLY sports talk show I watch with any regularity is Paul Finebaum on SEC Network. Paul’s callers are the retard 3rd cuzzins of those guys in Deliverance. I can’t imagine the ones Paul’s screeners reject. We’ll talk about Paul Finebaum in depth at a later time.

I made a conscious decision very early on in the 18 years of this website that I had no interest in developing a “mainstream” audience. The “mainstream”, IMO, is quite polluted with a mindset that “gives me the willies”. Watch The Walking Dead and think of all those zombies as “board monkeys”….. Nooo!

In case you haven’t noticed…. I have a very low opinion of “board monkeys” of every jersey color. Why would I want to lure them to this website by running Fire The Coach & AD polls and arguing about which coordinator should be beheaded this week? I’ll leave that oh-so-serious (??) crap to people interested in ratings. I’m only interested in “I told you so” points…. and, of course, Saving Western Civilization From Itself.

I prefer to write like I think and that “somewhere out there” are enough yahoos and galoots who “get” enough of my obtuse trivial foolishness to keep clicking. There are still a few “out there” I have yet to reach so my work here is far from done.

Dennis Miller assures me “they” are out there.   Someday I will take time to explain what “do a Thelma & Louise” means.

Somewhere

BTW…. “Somewhere Out There” will be the song for my & Kid’s Daddy / Daughter Dance in three weeks. I only have to hold it together for two minutes….

Is this website like translating The Rosetta Stone to you. What’s The Rosetta Stone? Aaaiiieeee.  I don’t give subtitles when using metaphors and similes from classic movies.

Godfather… Animal House… Caddyshack… Young Frankenstein… Blazing Saddles… Road House… Monty Python… Seinfeld… Gone With The Wind… Rocky… Princess Bride… Lonesome Dove and you can add your favorite 4-5.

Blondie and Kid have entire conversations using lines from Nora Ephron books and movies. “You’ve Got Mail” being their Fav. Nora Who …..?

Maybe you are not fluent on all or even most of these; but if you can’t recognize major lines from 3-4 of’em …. This website ain’t the place for you.

But but BobLee: “I thought you’d be bigger?” “Yeah, I get that a lot.” (Dalton in Road House)

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JDanWuff
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JDanWuff

Millennials are an odd lot. I have found the only way I can converse with them is just say what I mean and when they start pouting or huffing up, I just say “Grow a pair” or ” Shut the effyouseekay up”.
Most avoid a second meeting with me for some reason.
Animal House is one of the greatest college movies ever made.
Road trip.
Atticus Finch rocks.

Bill
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Bill

So, have you heard the one about the 2 lawyers in New Orleans who were walking towards each other one hot summer day? One, a conservative corporate lawyer had a suit on that featured a pink jacket with white lapels, gold pants, a black shirt and a multi-colored tie. The other, a friend of many years, couldn’t believe his eyes. When he finally was able to speak, he started to say “Bill, my God….”. He got no further. The other lawyer stopped him, explaining: “Don’t ask. I have a new secretary who gets everything backwards and this godawful thing is… Read more »

Doug
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Doug

Misc. Son #1 got married in May. At the last minute I was asked to do the daddy-daughter dance from my new daughter-in-law because her daddy is deceased. It still made my eyeballs sweat and if I’d known it sooner and had time to fully process it I’m not sure if the outcome would have been pleasant.

Did Sheliah Jackson Lee – Yale undergrad, JD UVA- really think Wikipedia and not WikiLeaks, leaked those HRC?DNC emails? Or did SJL, just pull a Governor Menelaus “Pappy” O’Daniel on her constitutes? Me thinks it was the latter.

Thuaidh Cearuilin
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Thuaidh Cearuilin

Your communication problem may be a function of age. As happens I went to a wedding yesterday and was chatting with a couple of millennials. It reminded me of conversations I had many years ago with a few Europeans at a bar in Amsterdam (as I recall some Scottish, Welsh, Dutch, German, Belch…from Belgium, some from who-knows-where). A real Star Wars bar it was. I quickly learned one has to speak plainly without slang or reference to culture and also to be very careful with humor. What’s funny to Americans can be nearly insulting to others. Millennials are much the… Read more »

Ironwolf
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Ironwolf

Oops BobLee! I think when you told the story about SOUTH Dakota you mistook Lorenzo Charles for Cozell McQueen for your “insert joke…”. It was Cozell, a SC native, who said he came to State because he wanted to go to school in the north. In one of your previous columns you mentioned State fans thinking the refs were biased for Clemson. We’re no longer alone. Louisville fans are saying they were screwed in the UL-Clemson game by a ref whose daughter graduated from Clemson. We heard similar accusations coming out of Chapel Hill last season after the ACCC. No… Read more »

NCSU68Grad
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NCSU68Grad

Cozell hails from Bennettsville, SC….where my DW and I were married as we “eloped”. I briefly knew Coz as we would exchange pleasantries when we were both rehabbing at Raleigh Orthopedic. He remembered the conversations when I last saw him at the Reynolds Dedication. Coz was born in Paris….don’t know how he made it back to SC. At one time, he worked with Lorenzo at night at the UPS terminal….they fell on hard times and worked there part-time…..my Ex SIL was their supervisor. Cozell also was listed as a “Financial Adviser or Planner” at one time…..I never availed myself of… Read more »

DownEastHeel
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DownEastHeel

Decided Tim Dorsey books are like crack for the brain. Think I’ve read four now. Ditto on Carl Hiassen although he is a very slightly more sane Dorsey. My last three books have been Hiassen, Dorsey and now Grisham. Not sure what that says about me. . Ever read Stewart Woods? Got him or Lawrence Saunders on deck. . Not over yet but Cubbies and the non-politically correct team should make for an interesting October (ooops) classic. The Hollywood story would be for Vin Scully to call a World Series in his swan song. Wouldn’t bet on that now although… Read more »

BC.PV
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BC.PV

BL, another terrific column. Go ahead, give in to it! You’re not going to be able to keep it together for two minutes during that dance. And, that will not be the first time for “something flew into my eyes” comments on that day. Congratulations! It appears-from afar- that “kid” has made a wise choice! We know that he has!
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Take care,

RWR
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RWR

BL: Glad to see that you picked up one of my favorite authors. I really enjoyed the former head of the Mossad, Shamron! Now for the final test, on what street is the main office of the Mossad located?
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Good luck and keep up the good work. I’ve been a fan of yours for a long time. Now retired and trying to learn to stay out of my Blondie’s space.

The Expatriate
Guest

As a longtime regular reader, I am hesitant to do this, but your are wrong. Wrong, I say, when you write “As you regular readers know…. my dear dear dear friend “Albert” has never seen Animal House…. or Caddyshack or Godfather. He is a global minority of ONE with that particular trifecta.” There are TWO of us. One explanation may be that we are of a certain age, he being at Derm High School while I was at the Pearl of Eastern North Carolina 26 miles west of your beloved Kinston. But thanks for letting me know that I am… Read more »

NCSU68Grad
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NCSU68Grad

BL, Sorry that folks are getting Migraines from my references….I really thought that your enlightened readers would immediately follow the subtleties….which are a LOT easier than following Red’s tangled webs in The Black List. From time time, I will shut off the DVR and tell my wife my theory on WHAT will happen or point out a little “Uh Oh” in the shot. I think the last one was Steve McGarrett talking to the blue screen that serves as the windshield to his SS Camaro….but it that had a different “picture” of the car they were chasing that the one… Read more »

Doug
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Doug

Please translate the night Butch added the renown quote when he asked me, “Do you walk to school or carry your lunch?” Huh! Nevertheless I’m not sure if Butch or me got out kicked. Pretty sure it was me though.

MAHA
Guest
MAHA

BL, Don’t know what your daughter dad song is but mine was the old Bobby Helms You are My Special Angel and I still tear up when I think about it and that was 15 years ago. MAHA.

Porcophile
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Porcophile

I was told once that the first rule of effective public speaking is to “put the slop down where the hogs can get it.”

Rivlax
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Rivlax

For years I’ve had a saying for “outkicking your audience’s coverage.” I ran into this phenomenon many times in the service: “Some people are so stupid they think YOU are the one who’s stupid.”

Gerri70
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Gerri70

BL, this is EXACTLY WHY I’ve read your website for 15 years. I figured I am one of a very few who “get” most of your obtuse references. You’re telling me there are others?