AgentPierce: Cat-5 Firestorm @ ECU

Cecil Staton
October04/ 2016


HOLY COW!  I’m actually on BobLeeSays! Imagine a sidewalk caricaturist having his work displayed next to Rembrant …. Or next to Bob Ross – that PBS “happy clouds” guy.  ….. Last Chance to bail out. ….. ALL ABOARD!  …. AgentPierce IS Here.


A Category-5 Firestorm @ Dowdy Ficklin

That Hurricane headed up The Coast might be needed to cool down the wildfire ablazing down in G-vegas a/k/a Greenville. Aaarrrgghh. …Angry Pirate. Shiver me timbers, matey.

Dr Leo Jenkins and Coach Stas are spinning in their graves. Steve Logan sips a glass of Ernest & Julio’s finest while searching his Al McGuire’s Greatest Sports Quotes for a pithy zinger to describe it all

Those One-eyed One-horned Flying Purple People are rompin and stompin and ready to bite the heads off a handful of sniveling little Band Geeks dressed up as Jack Sparrow’s gay cousin Bruce. Woe unto any ECU administrators who might get in their way.

I know many (most) of you are beyond “fit to be tied” over what happened last Saturday at ECU and the knee-jerk reaction of Chancellor Staton.  At least consider there was more to it than the “get a rope” mob is assuming.  Give Cecil Staton a chance to “get it right”.  IMO, he deserves at least a chance.

Last Saturday – October 1 – (some) members of The East Carolina Marching Band chose to “take a Kaepernick” as they joined their fellows in playing The National Anthem prior to the ECU v Central Florida football game. …. The actual number has been described as “some” ….. “a few” ….. “a bunch” ….ECU Band “too damned many” …. and “19”. We are going with “19” out of well over 150 band geeks dressed up as Jack Sparrow’s gay cousin Bruce.

The ECU Marching Band probably has some grandiose silly nickname like all marching bands give themselves – The Purple Power Sound of Pitt County or some such.

I really like East Carolina Univ. I’ve had many friends who went there. I appreciate the regional schools – like ECU – that concentrate on serving the specific population within 100 miles…. supplying teachers, bankers, family doctors, small business owners, and lots of salt-of-the-earth mammas and daddies that are the lifeblood of what we used to call “America”. The one Obama and Hillary have sworn to destroy.

….. And LOTS and LOTS of PDEWs. That’s Pretty DownEast Women as all you BobLee Buddies well know. …. YOWSA!

I’ve always thought ECUers had a pretty realistic perspective on their school’s purpose and the pride it takes in serving that purpose. Unlike “some schools” that must inflate their school’s self-worth to validate their own fragile egos.

Those 19 kneeling band geeks have ECU’s administration – faculty – alumni – fans – boosters and old men sitting around cracker barrels in Ayden, Grifton and Grimesland all aflutter.

By contrast…. 19 freakin’ band geeks amid the pines in UNCCH’s Kenan Stadium would not merit a burp or a snort.

The majority of UNCCH’s alumni and fans long ago became numb to such stoopid crap by “band geeks” …. “Peaceniks” …. “Commies” …. “Social justice warriors” …. “Save the whales wackos” …. “Chick-fil-a Haters” …. “Free Mandellers” …. “Impeach Nixon” …. “Boycott NIKE” …. “Deify Dean” …. “Fire Mary Willingham / Disembowel Dan Kane” …. Blah blah yadda yadda….

Rumor has it “they” are considering replacing The Old Well as UNCCH’s symbol with:  …. a votive candle held by a sniveling snowflake of indeterminate gender with a bad complexion, weak chin and a cheap haircut…. standing next to a yappy little Chihuahua wearing a dozen lapel ribbons.

97% of UNCCH alumni / fans have to hold their noise while singing Hark The Sound. The insanity of the other 3% has become the stereotype for all 100%. It is what it is what it is …..

Maybe THAT is why the ECU “faithful” are in such a hizzy fit….. over 19 freakin’ band geeks dressed like Jack Sparrow’s gay cousin Bruce.

…. Is ECU in danger of becoming a downeast country cuzzin version of the dreaded UNCCH? – A motley collection of ideological fruits and nuts running amuk.

That horrible thought surely raced thru the minds of the Purple-clad GOBs (Good Ol’ Boys) in Dowdy Ficklin as they watched those 19 Freakin’ Band Geeks doing “a Kaepernick” while dressed as Jack Sparrow’s gay cousin Bruce. …. “Jose, Can You See…. what those sorry no-count little commie-pissants are doing?”

I had a spy in the Chancellor Box at Dowdy Ficklin.  Actually it was one of BobLee’s fabled “inside sources” that always seem to be on-site whenever s*** hits a fan.  It hit last Saturday.  …. How does BL do that?cecilstaton1

I have it on impeccably reliable first-hand report that ECU Chancellor Cecil Staton went BALLISTIC !!! Had he had his hands around one of  those 19 geeks’ pencilneck, he’d alikely wrung it.

Background: Cecil Staton has been ECU’s Chanc less than a year. The raging left-wing nutjobs on ECU’s faculty don’t like him because he is NOT “a raging left-wing nutjob” like they are. I’ve never met Cecil Staton but I LIKE HIM because a number of guys I trust have met him and stand by him…. Alas:

In the moment on Saturday…. Chancellor Staton pulled “a General Custer”. He made a gawdawful strategic miscalculation which, alas, is still reverberating across PirateNation.

His personal rage notwithstanding, Cecil Staton opted to release a PC-gushy statement immediately (always a mistake) that he thought might appease that faculty nutjob faction that hates him. He was wrong.  It was the standard boilerplate:

I’m paraphrasing….. “At ECU we proudly encourage diversity, inclusion, safe places, freedom to express opinions and support stoopid moronic causes even when our dim-witted students have no F-in clue what they are talking about ….. blah blah blah …….”  Uh Oh!

Not only do the faculty nutjobs still hate Cecil Staton… he, at least temporarily, lost the support of every GOB in PirateNation. Yo Cecil…. check out a Dowdy Ficklin parking lot…. LOTs of F-150s and Dodge Rams with gun-racks and I Love Trump bumperstickers. My kinda folks!

Chanc Staton quickly realized his hasty PC-statement had thrown jet fuel on the kneeling band geek bonfire. Facebook and Twitter became a Tsunamic Wildfire of OUTRAGE…. With more than a few suggesting anatomical impossibilities for the well-intended Cecil Staton.

By Dawn’s Early Light on Sunday…. Chanc Staton began the clean-up of the glorious mess he had just contributed to. Cecil had assorted administrative underlings issue statements decidedly less standard Academic PC-drivel.

Those secondary statements may have prevented roving bands of flannel-shirted ECU frat boys carrying baseball bats from hunting down anyone dressed like Jack Sparrow’s gay cousin Bruce with grass stains on one knee.  Oh MY!

Did I mention that ECU’s football team got blown out by Central Florida?  That might have contributed to the general grumpiness of the assembled 50,000 very angry Purple People.

As many ECU faithful rush to “da beach” to batten down their hatches for the approaching storm…. No one is quite sure What’s Next.

The next home game is next Thursday against Navy. …. not a good choice for the snively band geeks.

FWIW: a self-appointed spokesman for the ECU faculty nutjobs reaffirmed that, indeed, they all still hate Cecil Staton… and always will “just because”.

I really hope PirateNation will cut Cecil Staton just a bit of slack. Yes, he shouldna oughta issued that knee-jerk PC-drivel but he did. A card laid IS a card played….. I’m pretty sure he learned a valuable lesson.

If Cecil actually does wring a couple of those 19 geeks’ pencilnecks at midfield next week…. Will that help?


We haven’t worked out all the techno-issues but we will very soon.   You will find AgentPierce right here…. whether you like him or not!   Yessiree!

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