My Very Own Ice Floe…. Surely you have heard of the (apochraphal) story about Old Eskimos being put on ice floes and shoved out into the Bering Sea when they are deemed more of a burden than a benefit to “the tribe”.
I am constructing my very own ice floe preparatory to separating myself from “the tribe”. I have decided that “the tribe” is becoming more of a burden than a benefit to ME. Take THAT tribe.
WHOA! Does this mean No More incredibly insightful commentaries? Heavens No. Exactly the opposite. OODLES MORE….. From the relative solitude of my ice floe, I will avoid the spirit-breaking cynicism of “the tribe”. The last burden I would ever place on you fine folks is facing grim reality. If I can offer you a 10-minute respite from reality several times / week…. what greater good could any man aspire too?
I watched a grand combined total of twenty minutes of the two political conventions. 20 minutes of one (RNC) and 0 of the other one. I did read synopses of each so I know they were a lot of “Balloons & BS”. For anyone who feels compelled to lecture me on what I missed…. DON’T.
Continuing with building my own ice floe…. I have watched Zip – Zero – Nada of the Whatever Olympiad this current one is. Relax…. I am NOT protesting anything or making a socio-cultural-political statement. Moi?
Sure, I find Little Bobby Costas beyond insufferable. If Perky Katie Couric and Dickie V had a bastard child it might be Little Bobby Costas. You can insert Bryant Gumbel in that motley gene pool somewhere.
My Olympic Apathy is not a Just Now Thing. It has come on gradually over the past 3-4 of’em. I can’t point to a Aaahhha Moment when I said “that’s enough for me”. I don’t have a short list of Ways The IOC Can Regain Me As A Viewer. I’m not trolling for converts to “do what I do” at all. My custom ice floe is a one-Legend-er.
I promise I do not think less of you if you LOVE The Olympics. You probably enjoy Dancing With The Stars and The Bachelorette too. I like “diners” and Baseball…. and listening to, rather than reading, books. Grant me my choices as I do you and this will stay civil.
I assume the Opening Ceremony included the Mongolian Wrestler carrying the Mongolian flag in one hand with his arm extended. …. “me strong like Mongolian bull”. That was cool the first 6-7 times he did it.
What is especially odd is that “Kid” has become a Total Olympics Addict. A young lady who spent the first 18 years of her life at Ground Zero of Tobacco Road and is clueless re: David Thompson – Michael Jordan or Christian Laettner. Four years at Needham Broughton High and no clue who “Pistol Pete” was. But she knows the favorite breakfast cereal of every USA gymnast and swimmer.
She was wearing out her text messenger with her cousins during the “floor exercises” and the “800 meter butterfly”. She refers to each “flying pixie” by their first names and analyzes the judges’ scores to the nth degree.
My account of meeting Bart Connor The Gymnast…. and wife Nadia Comaneci at Texas Motor Speedway ten years ago became relevant to her…. But not a clue who Jerry Jones is.
Kid is a “niche sports fan”. She is also developing an interest in FIFA Soccer which her mother and I are hoping she will soon outgrow.
I have not lost my daughter to the evil of pop-culture via “the Olympics”. That occurred when she memorized the lyrics to every Taylor Swift song EVER. As for future son-in-law Danny…. He isn’t watching The Olympics either. Of course he doesn’t own a TV and only uses his flip phone when absolutely necessary.
I am NOT making any sort of “statement” here. If I was, I would make the statement. Of all the Signs of The Apocalypse dragging “us” to Hell In A Handbasket I doubt Little Bobby Costas telling us that Michael Phelps drinks dolphin urine is a contributing factor.
NOTE: I stopped watching NFL “Preseason Games” a way long time ago. Can’t recall the last one of those things I watched. I think Y.A. Tittle was playing …. An NFL “Preseason Game” with a WNBA game at halftime would be the Ultimate Torture. Forget waterboarding.
I do watch Cardinals Baseball. Of Course…. This past Saturday was My Birthday. Birthdays are like noses and opinions on Donald Trump – everybody has one (noses) or many (opinions on Trump).
What would BobLee likely do “on His Day”? Duh ….. (1) Go out for Breakfast …. (2) Listen to a good audiobook ….. (3) Watch The Cardinals (vs Cubs) on MLB.Premium …. (4) Enjoy prime rib at The Angus Barn.
Blondie gave me my present – a Cardinals Aloha shirt which is now my official “wear while watching” uniform. So I settled in Saturday afternoon at 2:00 PM with my noise-cancelling headphones and MLB.Premium.
Here’s where it gets Woo Woo Mystical.
Cardinals were in “the friendly confines” of Wrigley for a four-game series playing The Greatest Team Ever In Baseball. Sorry ’27 Yankees but millennials have declared “The ’16 Cubs” BEST EVER despite “ain’t done nuthin’ yet”. Millennials tend to do that a lot.
Cards lost the opener in 11 innings…. A good’un but, alas, an “L”. On Friday, Cards’ Ace Adam Wainwright had THE WORST outing of his Life. He got shelled worse that Dresden. MLB invoked the 10-run Rule.
BREAKING NEWS: Cardinals Reliever / Former ECU Star – Seth Maness having “Tommy John” this week. Will likely miss all of next season. BUMMER!
So now it’s Saturday afternoon in Wrigley. Manager Mike’s (Matheny) starters are decimated by injuries. A totally raw rookie – Luke Weaver – is called up from AAA Memphis for his “big league” debut – in raucous Wrigley – on national TV – against The Greatest Team Ever. The Cards are reeling from two L’s – Cubs thinking Sweep. It could NOT be more ominous.
Luke Weaver’s parents are on-hand. Luke looks like he oughta be in Williamsport rather than Wrigley.
First pitch ever in “the big leagues” is a called strike at the knees. Strikes out Cubs lead-off Dexter Fowler. Second Cub grounds out. Cubs Superstar – Kris Bryant – goes down swinging for 3rd Out. HOLY COW!!! Luke’s mamma going nutz. Luke’s dad stone-faced.
….. then 2nd inning. Not so good. Lead-off man gets a single. Cubs’ SS Addison Russell takes a Luke Weaver slider DEEP over the LF ivy. Uh Oh! Cubs up 2-0. Luke’s mamma distraught. Luke’s dad stone-faced.
Luke settles down. Pitches out of jams in 3rd and 4th. Cubs up 2-0. Mike pulls Luke in 5th bringing in rookie phenom – Alex Reyes. Reyes shuts down Cubs with 100 mph heat.
Cards get solo HRs in 6th and 7th by two of my favorites – Moss & Gyorko. Now 2-2. Our Angus Barn reservation are for 5:00 PM. It’s 4:20….
I’m thinking it’s “been a good game”. Cards kept it close, but Cubs will erupt in 7th – 8th to put it away. Rookie Luke did “fine”.
Cards’ bats wake up in 8th…. Walk, walk, single, single. Cards up 4-2. WHOA! It’s 4:35. Two outs…. Walk, walk. Bases Loaded…. Struggling Randal Grichuk comes to the plate. Grichuk has been “sent down” twice this season for batting woes (hovering near The Mendoza Line) ….. so naturally:
GRAND SLAM For Randal Grichuk … Cards up 8-2.
Cubs get 2 in 9th but their 11-game win streak is Kaput. Cards would also go on to win on Sunday to split the 4-game series. We made our 5:00 PM reservation at The Angus Barn.
I get a perfect Birthday present – an exciting Cardinals win @ Wrigley. But it was also a special August 13 for another Birthday Boy – THE GRAND SLAMMER himself – Randal Grichuk also born on August 13 (‘91). ….. NO WAY?…. Yes, WAY!
Note: Fidel Castro was also born on August 13. Neither Randal nor I tout that fact.
Yep…. Don’t tell me (and Randal) that there are not “Baseball Gods” and that they don’t smile….. ☺
I was going to talk about Cam Newton and “Race” but why spoil a great baseball story. That can wait ‘til next time…..