My Very Own Ice Floe….

Eskimo Ice
BobLee
August16/ 2016

My Very Own Ice Floe…. Surely you have heard of the (apochraphal) story about Old Eskimos being put on ice floes and shoved out into the Bering Sea when they are deemed more of a burden than a benefit to “the tribe”.

I am constructing my very own ice floe preparatory to separating myself from “the tribe”.  I have decided that “the tribe” is becoming more of a burden than a benefit to ME.  Take THAT tribe.

WHOA!  Does this mean No More incredibly insightful commentaries?  Heavens No.  Exactly the opposite.  OODLES MORE….. From the relative solitude of my ice floe, I will avoid the spirit-breaking cynicism of “the tribe”.   The last burden I would ever place on you fine folks is facing grim reality.  If I can offer you a 10-minute respite from reality several times / week…. what greater good could any man aspire too?

I watched a grand combined total of twenty minutes of the two political conventions. 20 minutes of one (RNC) and 0 of the other one. I did read synopses of each so I know they were a lot of “Balloons & BS”. For anyone who feels compelled to lecture me on what I missed…. DON’T.Rio Olympics

Continuing with building my own ice floe…. I have watched Zip – Zero – Nada of the Whatever Olympiad this current one is.   Relax…. I am NOT protesting anything or making a socio-cultural-political statement. Moi?

Sure, I find Little Bobby Costas beyond insufferable. If Perky Katie Couric and Dickie V had a bastard child it might be Little Bobby Costas. You can insert Bryant Gumbel in that motley gene pool somewhere.

My Olympic Apathy is not a Just Now Thing. It has come on gradually over the past 3-4 of’em. I can’t point to a Aaahhha Moment when I said “that’s enough for me”. I don’t have a short list of Ways The IOC Can Regain Me As A Viewer. I’m not trolling for converts to “do what I do” at all. My custom ice floe is a one-Legend-er.

I promise I do not think less of you if you LOVE The Olympics.  You probably enjoy Dancing With The Stars and The Bachelorette too.  I like “diners” and Baseball…. and listening to, rather than reading, books.  Grant me my choices as I do you and this will stay civil.

I assume the Opening Ceremony included the Mongolian Wrestler carrying the Mongolian flag in one hand with his arm extended. …. “me strong like Mongolian bull”. That was cool the first 6-7 times he did it.

What is especially odd is that “Kid” has become a Total Olympics Addict. A young lady who spent the first 18 years of her life at Ground Zero of Tobacco Road and is clueless re: David Thompson – Michael Jordan or Christian Laettner. Four years at Needham Broughton High and no clue who “Pistol Pete” was.  But she knows the favorite breakfast cereal of every USA gymnast and swimmer.

She was wearing out her text messenger with her cousins during the “floor exercises” and the “800 meter butterfly”. She refers to each “flying pixie” by their first names and analyzes the judges’ scores to the nth degree.Bart Connor

My account of meeting Bart Connor The Gymnast…. and wife Nadia Comaneci at Texas Motor Speedway ten years ago became relevant to her…. But not a clue who Jerry Jones is.

Kid is a “niche sports fan”.  She is also developing an interest in FIFA Soccer which her mother and I are hoping she will soon outgrow.

I have not lost my daughter to the evil of pop-culture via “the Olympics”. That occurred when she memorized the lyrics to every Taylor Swift song EVER.    As for future son-in-law Danny…. He isn’t watching The Olympics either.  Of course he doesn’t own a TV and only uses his flip phone when absolutely necessary.

I am NOT making any sort of “statement” here. If I was, I would make the statement. Of all the Signs of The Apocalypse dragging “us” to Hell In A Handbasket I doubt Little Bobby Costas telling us that Michael Phelps drinks dolphin urine is a contributing factor.

NOTE:  I stopped watching NFL “Preseason Games” a way long time ago.  Can’t recall the last one of those things I watched.  I think Y.A. Tittle was playing …. An NFL “Preseason Game” with a WNBA game at halftime would be the Ultimate Torture.  Forget waterboarding.

 

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Happy Birthday

I do watch Cardinals Baseball. Of Course…. This past Saturday was My Birthday. Birthdays are like noses and opinions on Donald Trump – everybody has one (noses) or many (opinions on Trump).

What would BobLee likely do “on His Day”? Duh ….. (1) Go out for Breakfast …. (2) Listen to a good audiobook ….. (3) Watch The Cardinals (vs Cubs) on MLB.Premium …. (4) Enjoy prime rib at The Angus Barn.

Blondie gave me my present – a Cardinals Aloha shirt which is now my official “wear while watching” uniform.  So I settled in Saturday afternoon at 2:00 PM with my noise-cancelling headphones and MLB.Premium.

Here’s where it gets Woo Woo Mystical.

Cardinals were in “the friendly confines” of Wrigley for a four-game series playing The Greatest Team Ever In Baseball. Sorry ’27 Yankees but millennials have declared “The ’16 Cubs” BEST EVER despite “ain’t done nuthin’ yet”. Millennials tend to do that a lot.

Cards lost the opener in 11 innings…. A good’un but, alas, an “L”. On Friday, Cards’ Ace Adam Wainwright had THE WORST outing of his Life. He got shelled worse that Dresden. MLB invoked the 10-run Rule.

BREAKING NEWS:  Cardinals Reliever / Former ECU Star – Seth Maness having “Tommy John” this week.  Will likely miss all of next season.  BUMMER!

So now it’s Saturday afternoon in Wrigley. Manager Mike’s (Matheny) starters are decimated by injuries. A totally raw rookie Luke WeaverLuke Weaver – is called up from AAA Memphis for his “big league” debut – in raucous Wrigley – on national TV – against The Greatest Team Ever. The Cards are reeling from two L’s – Cubs thinking Sweep. It could NOT be more ominous.

Luke Weaver’s parents are on-hand. Luke looks like he oughta be in Williamsport rather than Wrigley.

First pitch ever in “the big leagues” is a called strike at the knees. Strikes out Cubs lead-off Dexter Fowler. Second Cub grounds out. Cubs Superstar – Kris Bryant – goes down swinging for 3rd Out. HOLY COW!!! Luke’s mamma going nutz. Luke’s dad stone-faced.

….. then 2nd inning. Not so good. Lead-off man gets a single. Cubs’ SS Addison Russell takes a Luke Weaver slider DEEP over the LF ivy. Uh Oh! Cubs up 2-0. Luke’s mamma distraught. Luke’s dad stone-faced.

Luke settles down. Pitches out of jams in 3rd and 4th. Cubs up 2-0. Mike pulls Luke in 5th bringing in rookie phenom – Alex Reyes. Reyes shuts down Cubs with 100 mph heat.

Cards get solo HRs in 6th and 7th by two of my favorites – Moss & Gyorko. Now 2-2. Our Angus Barn reservation are for 5:00 PM. It’s 4:20….

I’m thinking it’s “been a good game”. Cards kept it close, but Cubs will erupt in 7th – 8th to put it away. Rookie Luke did “fine”.

BUT WAIT

Randal GrichukCards’ bats wake up in 8th…. Walk, walk, single, single. Cards up 4-2. WHOA! It’s 4:35. Two outs…. Walk, walk. Bases Loaded…. Struggling Randal Grichuk comes to the plate. Grichuk has been “sent down” twice this season for batting woes (hovering near The Mendoza Line) ….. so naturally:

GRAND SLAM For Randal Grichuk … Cards up 8-2.

Cubs get 2 in 9th but their 11-game win streak is Kaput. Cards would also go on to win on Sunday to split the 4-game series. We made our 5:00 PM reservation at The Angus Barn.

BUT WAIT

I get a perfect Birthday present – an exciting Cardinals win @ Wrigley. But it was also a special August 13 for another Birthday Boy – THE GRAND SLAMMER himself – Randal Grichuk also born on August 13  (‘91). ….. NO WAY?…. Yes, WAY!  

Note:  Fidel Castro was also born on August 13.  Neither Randal nor I tout that fact.

Yep…. Don’t tell me (and Randal) that there are not “Baseball Gods” and that they don’t smile….. ☺

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I was going to talk about Cam Newton and “Race” but why spoil a great baseball story. That can wait ‘til next time…..

 

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BUT WAITCLICK  LINK

BobLee

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FightingBobKennel, Jr.
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FightingBobKennel, Jr.

You know, I invented the Olympic Games. The original ones. Got a call from Zeus himself who said, “Bob, here’s a problem only you can solve.” I didn’t know everyone was going to run naked, though. Wasn’t my idea.

Dr. Phil
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Dr. Phil

Damn BobLee,

Are you depressed? Call my office Monday and make an appointment.

Dr. Phil

Phil.T
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Phil.T

Where else in the Milky Way Galaxy and Worldwide Web… will one find on-going discussions of (1) the merits of Bob Kennel’s comments; AND (2) “watching Sarah Palin doing yoga on her back deck”?

MaHa
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MaHa

I’m glad William Neal Reynolds feels about BK the same way I do. Boy does that guy give me gas. How much does age have to do with the stuff he writes? MAHA.

Bob Kennel
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Bob Kennel

BL, just so you know everything is not all Barber all the time (although he is on a roll), following is the letter that was printed in the N&O yesterday in response to Yoder’s very good opinion piece (Yoder a friend of John Shelton Reed’s as well) ” Edwin Yoder’s UNC-NCAA Point of View on 9 August was truly poignant over a 60 year span. I was a mid-’50’s contemporary of Yoder’s although as a multi-sport student-athlete at NC State who remembers smacking Carolina at Keenan Stadium in 1956 as their team burst through the “Welcome Home Sunny Jim” banner.… Read more »

Bill Brockman
Guest

Thoroughly enjoyed this screed, especially since I’ve entertained most of the same thoughts about politics, the Olympics, our nation’s long slouch toward Gommorah, etc. And the comments of your faithful followers don’t leave much for me to add, except…. Thanks for your Louisiana reference. YAT is still remembered fondly, loved and respected by LSU fans of most generations. His autobiography, I Pass, was one of the very first sports books I ever read. Early teenage years, as I recall. Quite a fighter and a classy man throughout his life. The photo of him kneeling on the field, helmet off, dripping… Read more »

William.N.Reynolds
Guest
William.N.Reynolds

Sounds like you are finally learning what 95% of Wolfpackers have known for many years as re: Bob Kennel.

BC.in.PV
Guest
BC.in.PV

BL, enjoyable column. Are we related??? I have found myself, over the past few years, becoming disinterested in the Olympics as well! I do watch most of the swimming and women’s gymnastics because Ann likes them. I did enjoy seeing the winner of the men’s 400 meter race and the human interest story which accompanied it [74 year old grandmother coach!]. Also, I have to admit to “peeking” at Tom Brady’s wife during opening ceremonies. . Your mention of the Angus Barn brought back fond memories! Does the Eure family still own it? Every time I would have Regional Managers… Read more »

Sampson
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Sampson

BL…I watched five minutes of the two conventions…then felt I might throw up and turned it off.
.
I think I may have watch 10 minutes of the Olympics to see the NC State student swim.
.
Picking and singing still give me comfort—along with Miss Fisher, Father Brown, Dr. Blake, Midsommer Murders and old movies…and of course, the beach.
.
Hope all is well with you…hope we can have lunch soon.

Bob Kennel
Guest
Bob Kennel

Yikes, how old were you, 97? Sounds like many of your regular responders have become “old white men” as well. Can understand some down-in-the-mouth feelings with Trump, Ailes, courts, McCrory, daughters leaving the nest, and the Cardinals ?. It’s also hard to be so down on the Olympics. Sister Jennie knows our gymnasts who are pretty outstanding young ladies, including one of their coaches who was a gymnast at State. Still loved your Junction Boys article, but to round off comments, Yoder was DTH editor in 1956 who fought the original seeds of TGU with Sunny Jim Tatum. Yoder became… Read more »

UNCBlue
Guest

Gosh. I pretty much agreed with every word.

You mentioned breakfast. I finally found the best in MHC, Cox Family Restaurant. Best country ham biscuit EVER!

NCSU68Grad
Guest
NCSU68Grad

Greetings from Music City via Atlanta, Huntsville & Memphis. Rained last night in Memphis. Graceland was not shut down by thugs getting paid by Soros Like the IceFloe take. Maybe the DNC will put HRC & WJC on one & set them a float. Watched minimum Rio…..but did enjoy the female beach butt show. As an ex director of environmental, the green, Stinking diving pool was fascinating. Saw a little of that during best ribs in Memphis….a dive that my family wanted to make sure that Mr. 9mm Ruger was also attending. Best part of Rio is lousy ratings for… Read more »

Don
Guest

In paragraph 4 the word “synopsis” should be “synopses”. Hate to have the value of outstanding prose diminished by technical errors.

OldWuf Vet
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OldWuf Vet

BL you have raised curmudgeon behavior to new heights. It is a beautiful thing to behold. I figure you’re a few years ahead of me so I’ve still got time to fine tune my plan. I’ve told my wife I’ll just wander to the woods when it gets too crazy; sort of one of those native American rituals.

TheCowdog
Guest
TheCowdog

The Bering Sea is vast, yet the odds are good that you will eventually drift into MY floe.

When you do, we will share blubber and caviar, and speak at length of the Cardinals and Yankees.

Leroy Corso
Guest
Leroy Corso

Didn’t the tribe put Art Chansky on an ice floe but the damn thing kept floating back?

robedixonrrr
Guest
robedixonrrr

Wonder if every generation of males as they got older took to their own ice floe and sailed away doing the few things that they enjoyed the most as the finished up that final round in life’s game, or is it just the current generation? I know as I get further past age 60 I am saying I am done with this and done with that, be it sports, television, or just some home or lawn maintenance I want out of my life. Give me a good breakfast at someplace I enjoy, one of favorite meals once in awhile, enjoyment… Read more »

Doug
Guest
Doug

I don’t get your passing on The Olympic Games. What’s not to like? It’s got it all. Business, sport, race, sex, stick-ups, politics, graft, disease, pollution, corruption and greed, drama, comedy (see synchronized swimming and diving) NBC, Matt Lauer, Al Roker, Rio, murky green pools, women’s beach volleyball, and as you say Little Bobby. Where else do you get to see cities around the globe drool and bid billions of dollars to host an event? The first prize winning city is a virtual lock to lose a few billion dollars every four years for their hometown. This is what winning… Read more »