There are a select group of fool-hardy individuals on the planet who will risk Life, Limb, and Reputation daring to be seen in public with yours truly. Within that already small bunch is a much smaller mini-bunch….
Those who do not require we sit at a table waaay in the back and they get to sit facing the wall so no one will see them. Among the ones who actually sport “I’M A BOBLEE BUDDY” license plates on their SUV gas-gusslers is My Pal:
“Judge Bob” Orr a/k/a “JBO”
JBO is not the only former/current State Supreme Court Justice I count among my “call if I need a kidney…. or to get out of a parking ticket” list; but he is currently the only one juggling hand grenades wearing oven mitts while riding a unicycle in the dark…. through a mine field.
There is a fine line between “Judge Bob, I admire your courage in your convictions” and “Judge Bob have you completely lost your feeble mind?” ….. Even Karl Wallenda would have a tough time walking that tightrope…. but leave it to Ol’ JBO.
Perhaps you know of Judge Bob from his several state-wide election runs…. or his time as a NC State Supreme …. or his representation of several UNC student-athletes against The Evil NCAA …. or him being the only human being on earth to look me in the eye and, without giggling, say he likes Dickie Baddour.
Several have tried that but end up quickly admitting they were just kidding to get my reaction. I’m convinced Judge Bob meant it.
With that quite obtuse thought process I was not surprised that last week in Cleveland Judge Bob sent Charlotte Observer / N&O reporters into blissful dilerium when he rented a freakin’ megaphone to scream out something to the effect:
….. I, Judge Bob Orr, HATE DONALD TRUMP MORE THAN I HATE DUKE …. And I would rather kiss Christian Laettner on the lips than vote for Donald Trump.
I don’t share JBO’s opinion, and question why he chose to use one of Jim Goodmon’s WRAL dumpster diving weasels as his media leak. The only use for a Goodmon toadie is ….. we won’t go there.
The ecstacy that created for the journo-weasels from WRAL and McClatchy’s failing newspapers was NOT matched in kind by JBO’s fellow North Carolina delegates. His floor credentials became bogus-ized and his ride home became a Greyhound with 27 stops between Cleveland and Raleigh.
During that bus ride home, JBO had time to consider his now-altered career options. Being Trump’s choice for the REAL Supreme Court having just been thoroughly kiboshed.
After some deep thinking…. JBO decided he would sue New York Governor Andrew Cuomo for Violation of The Hatch Act. ?? Apparently “Mario’s kid” is running ads across NC attacking Gov PatMc and HB2 which violates whatever The Hatch Act says you can’t do.
NOTE: It is “Mario’s kid” who is keeping that BB team and that field hockey team from coming to NC to play area college teams. One would think the AWESOME economic impact from “losing a field hockey opponent” would be punishment enough for NC, but Mario’s kid decided to pile on. He didn’t count on Judge Bob needing a pinata to whack.
So early Monday AM I read on Facebook, Twitter whatever about JBO’s latest “media event”. You just KNOW I had to contact him ……
So JBO…. I get this call from Kid in St Louis…. Dad, is that my favorite Former Supreme Court Justice Bob Orr who just blew up the NC Delegation in Cleveland? Dad, why are your friends always causing trouble…..?
“Judge Bob I have no clue what The Hatch Act is or what your end game is in all this ??? Are you seeking forgiveness from your fellow delegates ….. or angling for an invite to Art Pope’s Christmas Party …. Or, hell, maybe to get Art’s Sancho Panza – John Hood – to beg Jim Goodmon’s toadie – Tom Campbell – for a guest appearance on NC Spin ?? …. or as state-wide right-wing pundits are surmissing you have indeed lost your feeble mind…. ? Which is it? ….. I’m about to officially rename you Judge “Bob & Weave” Orr….”
I think the line about Art’s Christmas Party and NC Spin caught him between a hoot and a holler. There was silence as he marshalled a retort.
“BobLee…. First, tell Kid I said Hi. All I was doing with all of this (the Cleveland KABOOM & the Hatch Act thingy) was calculated to get a mention in your column…..”
There HAD to be more to this. Had I been duped in this Machiavellian conspiracy.
“BL, remember that column you did last week about the Randy Parton Trainwreck Presser? ….. Well, I was there and you didn’t mention me even once.”
True enough although I did refer to the $500/hour suits from Poyner & Spruill I did not name’em.
“You mean you were part of Baby Brutha Randy’s Dream Team of legal beagles?”
“Heck no. I was there to sue the pants off “Slick Rick” (Watson…. Randy co-conspirator). By the way your description of that trainwreck was Dead Solid Perfect….”
There comes a point in one of these conversations when all parties are out of zinger ammo. You both realize it and it’s ….. “Say goodnight Gracie” time.
It was actually 8:45 Monday morning but I said “Say Good night Judge Bob”.
“Good night BobLee…..”
I get asked a LOT…. BobLee you obviously aren’t getting rich off your websites. Why do you do it?
Take another three minutes and reread this column. Tell me who had more fun this morning …. Me & JudgeBob Orr …. or anyone else you can imagine. I WIN!
For my fellow “lesser of two evils” Trump voters…. Not to worry. I have already procurred a fake Bob Orr voter ID and I will be voting for The Donald as JBO’s proxy. In fact I may do it (vote) several dozen times. Rev Barber taught me how to do that …. oops. I wasn’t suppose to say that, was I?