Seminole Fans can no longer (legally) sport Indian War Bonnets at Florida State sports events…. as a result of a recent ruling by “university officials”.
Violators of the ban will be “staked out over an ant hill and scalped” in keeping with the university’s long tradition of honoring it’s relationship with indigenous Native Americans.
A companion resolution to “replace Chief Osceola & Warpaint” with “a transgendered barista on a hoverboard” was referred to committee.
Relax Seminole fans…. FSU will remain steadfast as a “safe haven” for athletically-gifted young African-American men to rape and pillage as they please.
FSU officials are, however, requesting that ‘Nole sexual predators please voluntarily refrain from “wearing feathers in their hair” when “on the prowl” to do so.