“First, We Kill All The Zebras….”

April07/ 2016

If Will Shakespeare was a Tru Blue, he might amend his famous admonition about “all the lawyers” to “all the zebras / referees” at least for the next few days as the post-mortem pissin’ & moanin’ runs it’s course.

NOTE:  For those of you on the south side of 35, Will Shakespeare was “a bard” in Merry Ol’ England who strung a bunch of famous quotes together and proclaimed “Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him well”.  Neither Will nor Yorick are discussed much in modern day public indoctrination.  I don’t know what Saul Alinsky or Jeremiah Wright thought about referees. …..

When I looked for a picture of a dead zebra I never imagined I would find one with a flock of Franklin Street board monkeyZebrass gathered ‘round to devour the carcass.  Am I lucky or what!

Are basketball referees “zebras”?  Unlike the eeevil crooked football referees, eeevil crooked basketball referees don’t wear striped shirts any longer.  Who makes these decisions?

I don’t have time to listen to local sports talk radio, but local talker Joe Ovies tweeted late Tuesday afternoon that “there must be a full moon over Franklin Street” because the rabid bats were flying.   Joe’s board was lit up with all manner of bizarre conspiracy theorists as regards “the crooked Monkeyrefs Monday night”.   Theories ranged from the Illuminati to the Reincarnation of Karl Hess.  One can only hope 99% of the “quite unhinged” were either “using the phone in mamma’s basement” or there is a pay phone in the rec room of the asylum in which they are incarcerated.

I BELIEVE ….. there is a correlation between the likelihood of crooked referees and “conspiracy theories”.  In both cases 50% of such are “bogus”; but which 50%?   We now know which 50%. …. The certainty that “crooked refs” were responsible for your team ever losing is a given. Any likelihood that “crooked refs” mighta helped your team win on occasion…. are, of course, the bogus ones.  So there.

With the despondent Tru Blue loons in full piss ‘n moan…. the Brickyard Chapter of ABC ‘R Us has to be careful.   Ron Cherry, Jim Knight and/or Karl Hess are officially liable for every Wolfpack defeat in either FB or BB over the past 30 years.   With “Swofford” also an active co-conspirator over the past 18 years. ….. glass houses and throwing stones ???

The difference between “a tenacious hard-nose kid” and a “dirty homicidal thug” is known as the Hansbrough / Laettner / Stoddard Conundrum.   “Refs” are always “out-to-get” your hard-nosed (eagle scout) kid…. but have special instructions to “protect” the dirty homicidal thug that plays for (insert name of hated rival).   Of all the unwritten rules in sports, THIS ONE is legit.

I admit I – BobLee – used to “blame the refs” too.  3-A State Finals in Enka in 1962…. Lou Bello caused “us” to lose to Mt Airy.  Then I grew pubic hair, graduated from high school, my voice changed and I outgrew childish excuses.   54 years later…. I still remember “that night in Enka”.  Damn You Lou Bello!

Rhetorical question for anyone to answer or not….

IF the refs ARE “at fault” is it …..

Incompetent:  They don’t know the rules as well as “real fans” do.  They don’t pay attention.   They have poor eyesight and/or are lazy and out-of-position.

– IF SO….. Where do “they” find better refs.   Currently, the refs chosen for Big Games have (1) the most Big Game experience and (2) highest “grades” over the year.  Should Refs be selected from among each fan base’s “most REAL” fans?


Crooked:  They are told / ordered by Conference Commish / NCAA Poobah / Mob Boss to sway the outcome to a specific team because (insert bizarre conspiracy theory involving “institutional jealousy” and/or “large bet placed at last minute”).

– IF SO….. Other than that one crooked NBA ref 6-7 years ago, how come not one “ref on the take” has been outed…. other than by wild-ass rants by disconsolate board monkeys who hate Ref X because he looks like their ex-wife’s blood thirsty divorce lawyer.

Is the answer…. MORE TECHNOLOGY !!  Should there be a Replay/Review after EVERY possession to assess fouls not called and non-fouls called?   Use the DWTS “call-in your vote” method.  Show the replay and fans from both teams get to text-vote “yea” or “nay” on each call.   MoLily ATTst votes wins.   … This procedure would extend the time of games by a minimum of six hours but that allows for A LOT MORE of those PSA commercials with the little black girl and the tree frog ….. the little red-haired girl staring at the deer ….. Charles, Samuel L, and Spike in the car …. and Lily from AT&T.   America really needs LOTS more of those.  Right?



My lingering thought as I read / see / hear more insane goobers raging about “those damn crooked refs” is …..

“Boy, I sure hope none of those insane goobers are pediatric neurosurgeons getting ready to perform delicate life/death surgery on someone’s child….”.   Please God, let them all be “life’s losers in dirty underwear in their mamma’s basement…. Please, please, please”



Speaking of Charles Barkley:  Am I the only one who noticed….. It is universally known that among the AnybodyButCarolina (ABC) crowd two truisms persist.   (1) John Swofford is the AntiChrist and…. (2) EVERY UNC Fan is either an L, G, B, or T or at least VERY sympathetic to the LGBT radical political agenda.Barkley Dance

With (2) in mind…. immediately after THE Classic, as the confetti reigned down, Charles Barkley did a widely-viewed Villanova victory dance mocking Kenny “The Jet” Smith who was, understandably, despondent.   THAT hi-jink was not well received in Chapel Hill…. Uh Oh!

Apparently Charles’ “people” suggested he do something quick to get back in the good graces of ESPN’s John Skipper (UNC’75) and the rest of OldWell Nation so …… yesterday Charles condemned HB2 saying The NBA should move its All Star game out of NC to “somewhere Tranys can pee and poop wherever they darn well please” which, of course, eliminates Houston among numerous other cities ….. No report yet on whether Chapel Hill LGBTers are now copacetic with Charles.

When asked if he actually knew what HB2 “was all about”, Charles admitted he neither knows nor cares but since the PayPal CEO didn’t know either…. “What difference does it make” to quote Mrs Clinton.  Yeee……… Ha.


My St. Louis Cardinals are 0-3.  …. sigh, sob, sniff.   At this rate they will finish 0-162.   I am channeling Stan Musial for his thoughts; but, I am pretty sure those damn NL umpires are all Cubs fans.


Depending on when you read this…. there might be new Quirkies up…. LINK

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