“First, We Kill All The Zebras….”

Zebras
BobLee
April07/ 2016

If Will Shakespeare was a Tru Blue, he might amend his famous admonition about “all the lawyers” to “all the zebras / referees” at least for the next few days as the post-mortem pissin’ & moanin’ runs it’s course.

NOTE:  For those of you on the south side of 35, Will Shakespeare was “a bard” in Merry Ol’ England who strung a bunch of famous quotes together and proclaimed “Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him well”.  Neither Will nor Yorick are discussed much in modern day public indoctrination.  I don’t know what Saul Alinsky or Jeremiah Wright thought about referees. …..

When I looked for a picture of a dead zebra I never imagined I would find one with a flock of Franklin Street board monkeyZebrass gathered ‘round to devour the carcass.  Am I lucky or what!

Are basketball referees “zebras”?  Unlike the eeevil crooked football referees, eeevil crooked basketball referees don’t wear striped shirts any longer.  Who makes these decisions?

I don’t have time to listen to local sports talk radio, but local talker Joe Ovies tweeted late Tuesday afternoon that “there must be a full moon over Franklin Street” because the rabid bats were flying.   Joe’s board was lit up with all manner of bizarre conspiracy theorists as regards “the crooked Monkeyrefs Monday night”.   Theories ranged from the Illuminati to the Reincarnation of Karl Hess.  One can only hope 99% of the “quite unhinged” were either “using the phone in mamma’s basement” or there is a pay phone in the rec room of the asylum in which they are incarcerated.

I BELIEVE ….. there is a correlation between the likelihood of crooked referees and “conspiracy theories”.  In both cases 50% of such are “bogus”; but which 50%?   We now know which 50%. …. The certainty that “crooked refs” were responsible for your team ever losing is a given. Any likelihood that “crooked refs” mighta helped your team win on occasion…. are, of course, the bogus ones.  So there.

With the despondent Tru Blue loons in full piss ‘n moan…. the Brickyard Chapter of ABC ‘R Us has to be careful.   Ron Cherry, Jim Knight and/or Karl Hess are officially liable for every Wolfpack defeat in either FB or BB over the past 30 years.   With “Swofford” also an active co-conspirator over the past 18 years. ….. glass houses and throwing stones ???

The difference between “a tenacious hard-nose kid” and a “dirty homicidal thug” is known as the Hansbrough / Laettner / Stoddard Conundrum.   “Refs” are always “out-to-get” your hard-nosed (eagle scout) kid…. but have special instructions to “protect” the dirty homicidal thug that plays for (insert name of hated rival).   Of all the unwritten rules in sports, THIS ONE is legit.

I admit I – BobLee – used to “blame the refs” too.  3-A State Finals in Enka in 1962…. Lou Bello caused “us” to lose to Mt Airy.  Then I grew pubic hair, graduated from high school, my voice changed and I outgrew childish excuses.   54 years later…. I still remember “that night in Enka”.  Damn You Lou Bello!

Rhetorical question for anyone to answer or not….

IF the refs ARE “at fault” is it …..

Incompetent:  They don’t know the rules as well as “real fans” do.  They don’t pay attention.   They have poor eyesight and/or are lazy and out-of-position.

– IF SO….. Where do “they” find better refs.   Currently, the refs chosen for Big Games have (1) the most Big Game experience and (2) highest “grades” over the year.  Should Refs be selected from among each fan base’s “most REAL” fans?

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Crooked:  They are told / ordered by Conference Commish / NCAA Poobah / Mob Boss to sway the outcome to a specific team because (insert bizarre conspiracy theory involving “institutional jealousy” and/or “large bet placed at last minute”).

– IF SO….. Other than that one crooked NBA ref 6-7 years ago, how come not one “ref on the take” has been outed…. other than by wild-ass rants by disconsolate board monkeys who hate Ref X because he looks like their ex-wife’s blood thirsty divorce lawyer.

Is the answer…. MORE TECHNOLOGY !!  Should there be a Replay/Review after EVERY possession to assess fouls not called and non-fouls called?   Use the DWTS “call-in your vote” method.  Show the replay and fans from both teams get to text-vote “yea” or “nay” on each call.   MoLily ATTst votes wins.   … This procedure would extend the time of games by a minimum of six hours but that allows for A LOT MORE of those PSA commercials with the little black girl and the tree frog ….. the little red-haired girl staring at the deer ….. Charles, Samuel L, and Spike in the car …. and Lily from AT&T.   America really needs LOTS more of those.  Right?

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My lingering thought as I read / see / hear more insane goobers raging about “those damn crooked refs” is …..

“Boy, I sure hope none of those insane goobers are pediatric neurosurgeons getting ready to perform delicate life/death surgery on someone’s child….”.   Please God, let them all be “life’s losers in dirty underwear in their mamma’s basement…. Please, please, please”

 

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Speaking of Charles Barkley:  Am I the only one who noticed….. It is universally known that among the AnybodyButCarolina (ABC) crowd two truisms persist.   (1) John Swofford is the AntiChrist and…. (2) EVERY UNC Fan is either an L, G, B, or T or at least VERY sympathetic to the LGBT radical political agenda.Barkley Dance

With (2) in mind…. immediately after THE Classic, as the confetti reigned down, Charles Barkley did a widely-viewed Villanova victory dance mocking Kenny “The Jet” Smith who was, understandably, despondent.   THAT hi-jink was not well received in Chapel Hill…. Uh Oh!

Apparently Charles’ “people” suggested he do something quick to get back in the good graces of ESPN’s John Skipper (UNC’75) and the rest of OldWell Nation so …… yesterday Charles condemned HB2 saying The NBA should move its All Star game out of NC to “somewhere Tranys can pee and poop wherever they darn well please” which, of course, eliminates Houston among numerous other cities ….. No report yet on whether Chapel Hill LGBTers are now copacetic with Charles.

When asked if he actually knew what HB2 “was all about”, Charles admitted he neither knows nor cares but since the PayPal CEO didn’t know either…. “What difference does it make” to quote Mrs Clinton.  Yeee……… Ha.

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My St. Louis Cardinals are 0-3.  …. sigh, sob, sniff.   At this rate they will finish 0-162.   I am channeling Stan Musial for his thoughts; but, I am pretty sure those damn NL umpires are all Cubs fans.

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Depending on when you read this…. there might be new Quirkies up…. LINK

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Todd Lesley
Todd Lesley
4 years ago

I was gonna say that a anti referee march is in order in Chapel Hill but they would have to reserve a time to protest. Too many other agendas ahead of them. Or take a number and wait till you hear “next”! like the barber shop where I grew up. Good news for the Cards…my Braves are up next.

Barney
Barney
4 years ago

Could you possibly add “Tear Heels” to your future description of Ole Roy, his players, and the blue goat fans?

Barney
Barney
4 years ago
Reply to  BobLee

Bob, I will gladly sign over the journalistic/legal rights to “Tear Heels” for your use in any future Ole Roy epistle.

Also, if we can jointly obtain the water rights from the voluminous tears we can probably resolve the water shortage in southern California.

Just saying!

YogiNC
YogiNC
4 years ago

The dead zebra and board monkeys line has topped them all! Everytime I think you’ve outdone yourself you send the bar higher! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNEEEEEEEEE!

knothead
knothead
4 years ago

In another lifetime I used to room with Tommy’s younger brother, Gerry, who was quite a character himself. Gerry died a couple of years ago and Tommy did the service, which was quite inspirational.

A small fact about Lou. He saw lots of action as a tail gunner on a bomber during WW2, which probably determined his view on the “importance” of the games he refereed. Maybe that’s some of the reason for the “show” that we remember him for.

NCSU68Grad
NCSU68Grad
4 years ago
Reply to  BobLee

Supposedly a fact….with peripheral substantiation. Lou was recommended by Norm Sloan and got SEC contract. First game with Lou as ref, Norm & Gators were being trounced. Lou “leveled” the court so much that Norm was embarrassed. Finally OT. Lou stops by FL huddle and in stage whisper heard in the cheap seats…”Norm, you’re on your own from here” & walks away. Team snickers and Norm is having difficulty focusing on coaching. No word on who won the game….don’t know if it were home or away. I remember Lou from his nightly variety show on WRAL thinly disguised as a… Read more »

Pack78
Pack78
4 years ago
NCSU68Grad
NCSU68Grad
4 years ago
Reply to  Pack78

Which, if any, of the following Michael Kline’s is the Change.Org instigator?

https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-kline-b34bb287

http://www.unc.edu/depts/diplomat/item/2009/0103/ed/kline_cuba.html

LATE BREAKING…..Michael Kline has got over 1000 sigs…..and WILL BE INTERVIEWED on TWC Channel 14 this evening. That will be better than the Trump Rally or the Sissy Slug Fest between Hill and Bern…

We need operatives in the studio…..

NCSU68Grad
NCSU68Grad
4 years ago
Reply to  BobLee

http://www.twcnews.com/nc/triad/sports/2016/04/7/unc-fan-starts-petition-to-get-national-championship-game-overturned.html

No comments are necessary. Watch the Skype interview and draw your own conclusions.

Mine is that Global Warming has spread the “Snowflakes” spores from Duke and that they mutated from the aroma and smoke over Goldsboro and Kinston whilst traveling down US Hwy 70….and then a southerly offshore breeze blew them off course and they finally came down in Kill Devil Hills.

The DNA will be spread up and down the Outer Banks….

NCSU68Grad
NCSU68Grad
4 years ago

DON’t get me started….TOO LATE…..read on First>>>I am pleased to report that the fine UNC medical staff were NOT in grief counseling on Tuesday AM as I was in the LAND of GLOOM and DOOM for some diagnostics and testing. The two Dr’s did not even know there was a game….but they were not “Southern Bread and Southern Born”. The LPN did and was unhappy, but did NOT take any glee in the 37 pin pricks or the 17 intradermal needle injections in my forearms. The checkout ladies were kidding me about my NCSU RED shirt and we reached a… Read more »

NCSU68Grad
NCSU68Grad
4 years ago
Reply to  BobLee

Hey, Don’t pick on me. My energy level is down due to all the pin pricks and injections by the True Blue UNC Med staff. BUT, they found the issue….and I am still recovering. I will go back on meds after my immune system is revived and fully 100%. Forewarned is forearmed. I see a fellow Loco Lobo’er done posted the Whiner Link from Change.ORG. I wish that some enterprising local reporter would put that on the TRENDING page and then go out for a One-on-One interview to see WHAT the person that lives in this delusional environment looks like.… Read more »

NCSU68Grad
NCSU68Grad
4 years ago
Reply to  BobLee

Brodhead is slated to be the Senior Citizen in Durham who was duped out of umpteen millions buy the internet emails about having an inherited fortune tied up in TinBuckToo or wherever. Is there ON ONE in charge of the BOG or BOD or Trustees that recognize that this person is mentally challenged due to all the catch phrase hammering that was done on his cranium? He is making Tom Ross look like Donald Trump in comparison to his behavior. THAT would be a great event…..send in the DONALD and let HIM show his statesmanship IQ and bring peace and… Read more »

RowdyBlueTarHeeler
RowdyBlueTarHeeler
4 years ago

re: inconsistent referees
this fan had to bail on the game 5 minutes into the second half when Meeks got called for a foul on a hustle play, compounding the frustration. I was already plenty ticked about our inexcusable unforced turnovers and failure to figure out how to get the ball to the post players.
My poor spouse, true blue she is, got so riled up that she blew out a retina and had to have surgery Tuesday evening!

Doug
Doug
4 years ago

FWIW, and it won’t make you feel any better about Enka, Lou’s son, Tom Bello died a few days ago at age 66. My late mom trained me to look at such things thinking it was more sensible that “ball” or any type of ball game in season. I like characters and thought Lou was a fine one. I did not know Lou or Tom. Tome was a Morehead & Rhodes scholar so I guess he was a smart fellow. According to the obit, Tom was National Minister for all North American Secular Franciscans for the last 6 years. I… Read more »

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