“First, We Kill All The Zebras….”

Zebras
BobLee
April07/ 2016

If Will Shakespeare was a Tru Blue, he might amend his famous admonition about “all the lawyers” to “all the zebras / referees” at least for the next few days as the post-mortem pissin’ & moanin’ runs it’s course.

NOTE:  For those of you on the south side of 35, Will Shakespeare was “a bard” in Merry Ol’ England who strung a bunch of famous quotes together and proclaimed “Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him well”.  Neither Will nor Yorick are discussed much in modern day public indoctrination.  I don’t know what Saul Alinsky or Jeremiah Wright thought about referees. …..

When I looked for a picture of a dead zebra I never imagined I would find one with a flock of Franklin Street board monkeyZebrass gathered ‘round to devour the carcass.  Am I lucky or what!

Are basketball referees “zebras”?  Unlike the eeevil crooked football referees, eeevil crooked basketball referees don’t wear striped shirts any longer.  Who makes these decisions?

I don’t have time to listen to local sports talk radio, but local talker Joe Ovies tweeted late Tuesday afternoon that “there must be a full moon over Franklin Street” because the rabid bats were flying.   Joe’s board was lit up with all manner of bizarre conspiracy theorists as regards “the crooked Monkeyrefs Monday night”.   Theories ranged from the Illuminati to the Reincarnation of Karl Hess.  One can only hope 99% of the “quite unhinged” were either “using the phone in mamma’s basement” or there is a pay phone in the rec room of the asylum in which they are incarcerated.

I BELIEVE ….. there is a correlation between the likelihood of crooked referees and “conspiracy theories”.  In both cases 50% of such are “bogus”; but which 50%?   We now know which 50%. …. The certainty that “crooked refs” were responsible for your team ever losing is a given. Any likelihood that “crooked refs” mighta helped your team win on occasion…. are, of course, the bogus ones.  So there.

With the despondent Tru Blue loons in full piss ‘n moan…. the Brickyard Chapter of ABC ‘R Us has to be careful.   Ron Cherry, Jim Knight and/or Karl Hess are officially liable for every Wolfpack defeat in either FB or BB over the past 30 years.   With “Swofford” also an active co-conspirator over the past 18 years. ….. glass houses and throwing stones ???

The difference between “a tenacious hard-nose kid” and a “dirty homicidal thug” is known as the Hansbrough / Laettner / Stoddard Conundrum.   “Refs” are always “out-to-get” your hard-nosed (eagle scout) kid…. but have special instructions to “protect” the dirty homicidal thug that plays for (insert name of hated rival).   Of all the unwritten rules in sports, THIS ONE is legit.

I admit I – BobLee – used to “blame the refs” too.  3-A State Finals in Enka in 1962…. Lou Bello caused “us” to lose to Mt Airy.  Then I grew pubic hair, graduated from high school, my voice changed and I outgrew childish excuses.   54 years later…. I still remember “that night in Enka”.  Damn You Lou Bello!

Rhetorical question for anyone to answer or not….

IF the refs ARE “at fault” is it …..

Incompetent:  They don’t know the rules as well as “real fans” do.  They don’t pay attention.   They have poor eyesight and/or are lazy and out-of-position.

– IF SO….. Where do “they” find better refs.   Currently, the refs chosen for Big Games have (1) the most Big Game experience and (2) highest “grades” over the year.  Should Refs be selected from among each fan base’s “most REAL” fans?

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Crooked:  They are told / ordered by Conference Commish / NCAA Poobah / Mob Boss to sway the outcome to a specific team because (insert bizarre conspiracy theory involving “institutional jealousy” and/or “large bet placed at last minute”).

– IF SO….. Other than that one crooked NBA ref 6-7 years ago, how come not one “ref on the take” has been outed…. other than by wild-ass rants by disconsolate board monkeys who hate Ref X because he looks like their ex-wife’s blood thirsty divorce lawyer.

Is the answer…. MORE TECHNOLOGY !!  Should there be a Replay/Review after EVERY possession to assess fouls not called and non-fouls called?   Use the DWTS “call-in your vote” method.  Show the replay and fans from both teams get to text-vote “yea” or “nay” on each call.   MoLily ATTst votes wins.   … This procedure would extend the time of games by a minimum of six hours but that allows for A LOT MORE of those PSA commercials with the little black girl and the tree frog ….. the little red-haired girl staring at the deer ….. Charles, Samuel L, and Spike in the car …. and Lily from AT&T.   America really needs LOTS more of those.  Right?

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My lingering thought as I read / see / hear more insane goobers raging about “those damn crooked refs” is …..

“Boy, I sure hope none of those insane goobers are pediatric neurosurgeons getting ready to perform delicate life/death surgery on someone’s child….”.   Please God, let them all be “life’s losers in dirty underwear in their mamma’s basement…. Please, please, please”

 

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Speaking of Charles Barkley:  Am I the only one who noticed….. It is universally known that among the AnybodyButCarolina (ABC) crowd two truisms persist.   (1) John Swofford is the AntiChrist and…. (2) EVERY UNC Fan is either an L, G, B, or T or at least VERY sympathetic to the LGBT radical political agenda.Barkley Dance

With (2) in mind…. immediately after THE Classic, as the confetti reigned down, Charles Barkley did a widely-viewed Villanova victory dance mocking Kenny “The Jet” Smith who was, understandably, despondent.   THAT hi-jink was not well received in Chapel Hill…. Uh Oh!

Apparently Charles’ “people” suggested he do something quick to get back in the good graces of ESPN’s John Skipper (UNC’75) and the rest of OldWell Nation so …… yesterday Charles condemned HB2 saying The NBA should move its All Star game out of NC to “somewhere Tranys can pee and poop wherever they darn well please” which, of course, eliminates Houston among numerous other cities ….. No report yet on whether Chapel Hill LGBTers are now copacetic with Charles.

When asked if he actually knew what HB2 “was all about”, Charles admitted he neither knows nor cares but since the PayPal CEO didn’t know either…. “What difference does it make” to quote Mrs Clinton.  Yeee……… Ha.

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My St. Louis Cardinals are 0-3.  …. sigh, sob, sniff.   At this rate they will finish 0-162.   I am channeling Stan Musial for his thoughts; but, I am pretty sure those damn NL umpires are all Cubs fans.

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Depending on when you read this…. there might be new Quirkies up…. LINK

Tags:
BobLee
  • Todd Lesley Reply
    12 months ago

    I was gonna say that a anti referee march is in order in Chapel Hill but they would have to reserve a time to protest. Too many other agendas ahead of them. Or take a number and wait till you hear “next”! like the barber shop where I grew up. Good news for the Cards…my Braves are up next.

    • BobLee Reply
      12 months ago

      Getting a spot on the Chapel Hill protest calendar is tougher than a Saturday night reservation at The Angus Barn.

  • Barney Reply
    12 months ago

    Could you possibly add “Tear Heels” to your future description of Ole Roy, his players, and the blue goat fans?

    • BobLee Reply
      12 months ago

      I prefer not to risk copyright laws on other folks’ creative property.

      • Barney Reply
        12 months ago

        Bob, I will gladly sign over the journalistic/legal rights to “Tear Heels” for your use in any future Ole Roy epistle.

        Also, if we can jointly obtain the water rights from the voluminous tears we can probably resolve the water shortage in southern California.

        Just saying!

  • YogiNC Reply
    12 months ago

    The dead zebra and board monkeys line has topped them all! Everytime I think you’ve outdone yourself you send the bar higher! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNEEEEEEEEE!

    • BobLee Reply
      12 months ago

      The Good Lord does look after smart alecks with websites. Google ANYTHING and ya never know what you’ll get … “like a box of chocolates”.

  • knothead Reply
    12 months ago

    In another lifetime I used to room with Tommy’s younger brother, Gerry, who was quite a character himself. Gerry died a couple of years ago and Tommy did the service, which was quite inspirational.

    A small fact about Lou. He saw lots of action as a tail gunner on a bomber during WW2, which probably determined his view on the “importance” of the games he refereed. Maybe that’s some of the reason for the “show” that we remember him for.

    • BobLee Reply
      12 months ago

      Imagine someone with Lou Bello’s “flair” and showmanship in today’s “Life or Die” arena environments ???

      • NCSU68Grad Reply
        12 months ago

        Supposedly a fact….with peripheral substantiation. Lou was recommended by Norm Sloan and got SEC contract.

        First game with Lou as ref, Norm & Gators were being trounced. Lou “leveled” the court so much that Norm was embarrassed. Finally OT.

        Lou stops by FL huddle and in stage whisper heard in the cheap seats…”Norm, you’re on your own from here” & walks away. Team snickers and Norm is having difficulty focusing on coaching.

        No word on who won the game….don’t know if it were home or away.

        I remember Lou from his nightly variety show on WRAL thinly disguised as a sports presentation. Lou had the gift of gab.

        • BobLee Reply
          12 months ago

          I liked him a lot. ?

  • Pack78 Reply
    12 months ago

    Take heart Heel fans…the game is not official yet:

    https://www.change.org/p/national-i-want-the-the-unc-villanova-ncaa-championship-game-overturned

    • BobLee Reply
      12 months ago

      The individual spearheading this, and the like-minds glomming on to him, are for sure stable individuals well-respected in their communities… exemplary husbands and fathers ….. NOT! Imagine living next door to this loon… or working with him ? Yeeee HA!

    • NCSU68Grad Reply
      12 months ago

      Which, if any, of the following Michael Kline’s is the Change.Org instigator?

      https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-kline-b34bb287

      http://www.unc.edu/depts/diplomat/item/2009/0103/ed/kline_cuba.html

      LATE BREAKING…..Michael Kline has got over 1000 sigs…..and WILL BE INTERVIEWED on TWC Channel 14 this evening. That will be better than the Trump Rally or the Sissy Slug Fest between Hill and Bern…

      We need operatives in the studio…..

      • BobLee Reply
        12 months ago

        I think they should shoot the interview at a Dean Dome “Pee Wall” …. with Roy juggling chain saws on a unicycle.
        .
        You know my concern with galoots like this and his 1,000 acolytes. … in far too many instances they also BREED and VOTE! THAT is where they cause the most damage.

        • NCSU68Grad Reply
          12 months ago

          http://www.twcnews.com/nc/triad/sports/2016/04/7/unc-fan-starts-petition-to-get-national-championship-game-overturned.html

          No comments are necessary. Watch the Skype interview and draw your own conclusions.

          Mine is that Global Warming has spread the “Snowflakes” spores from Duke and that they mutated from the aroma and smoke over Goldsboro and Kinston whilst traveling down US Hwy 70….and then a southerly offshore breeze blew them off course and they finally came down in Kill Devil Hills.

          The DNA will be spread up and down the Outer Banks….

          • BobLee
            12 months ago

            This very passionate partisan likely matriculated at UNC-KDWM (“Kill Devil Wal-Mart”). Alas, I fear his linage has leaked into pretty much every collegiate fan base from sea-to-shining-sea. We live in the Age of The Cyber Goober Fan. Immediate Neutering is recommended upon sight.
            .
            I’m betting that Alabama fan that poisoned the tree at Toomer’s Corner in Auburn was a 3rd-4th cuzzin of this goober.

  • NCSU68Grad Reply
    12 months ago

    DON’t get me started….TOO LATE…..read on
    First>>>I am pleased to report that the fine UNC medical staff were NOT in grief counseling on Tuesday AM as I was in the LAND of GLOOM and DOOM for some diagnostics and testing. The two Dr’s did not even know there was a game….but they were not “Southern Bread and Southern Born”. The LPN did and was unhappy, but did NOT take any glee in the 37 pin pricks or the 17 intradermal needle injections in my forearms. The checkout ladies were kidding me about my NCSU RED shirt and we reached a common conclusion. ORW was out coached by JW & the Nova players out played the UNC lads. per your original post….BOTH team rosters were fine lads and something that both universities should be proud of….
    NOW, since you bring up the Zebra’s and mention the Tyler lad, who has a momma that was described by your friends as “Hubba-Hubba”. I did note a few “no calls” that I jokingly told my DBW would have been a whistle had young Tyler been the recipient. That boy collected fouls like PJ collected bling and other contraband. SO, I CAN see why the crazed and wondering UNC crowd would cry FOUL (which were not being called). It is AMAZING that the UNC lads were still in the game with such constraints as “NO ACADEMIC ASSISTANCE” and “NO RW’s PERSONAL REFS”. If the bookies had figured that out, Nova would have been a 20 point favorite….rather than only 4 points.

    Sir Charles….that boy does have multiple facets to his personality. I did like his banter with the light blue analyst. I did like his seemingly REAL interaction with Sam Jackson and Spike Lee in the Capital One commercials. BUT, I remember that the Capital folks have a low bar as Alex Baldwin was one of their mouthpieces.

    I can only conclude that Spike must have sprinkled some of his fairy dust on Sir Charles during all the commercial takes. THAT stuff takes a while to react and it finally rearranged his DNA. He is a pretty straight talking conservative guy…until the Republicans lost their mind. Wonder how he would react if some TG type tried to do some under stall photos of his 27 YO Daughter?

    Finally, your Billy Shakespeare reference (and paraphrased title) probably DOES go over the heads of many….ABC’ers and UNC’ers. I must admit that I never read that play. However Don Henley and Glenn Frey obviously were of a more literate vein. They used the line in their 1994 hit, “Get OVER it”. Most will probably remember it from THAT use than in English Lit 101 or such. THAT is why I understood it. Maybe someone should get James Taylor to pen (click, strum, vocalize…) a ditty expressing the dismay….

    Just yesterday morning, they let me know you had lost….
    Roy, the Dean Dome celebration plans were in vain.
    I can barely walk this morning, but I clicked out this song
    I just can’t remember who to Text it to.
    I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain. I’ve seen climate changed days that I thought would never end.
    I’ve seen lonely times when I had no Facebook friends,
    BUT, I always thought that I’d see you win another ring again…

    • BobLee Reply
      12 months ago

      Getting you “started” is never a problem. Stopping you is the issue . ???

      • NCSU68Grad Reply
        12 months ago

        Hey,

        Don’t pick on me. My energy level is down due to all the pin pricks and injections by the True Blue UNC Med staff. BUT, they found the issue….and I am still recovering.

        I will go back on meds after my immune system is revived and fully 100%. Forewarned is forearmed.

        I see a fellow Loco Lobo’er done posted the Whiner Link from Change.ORG. I wish that some enterprising local reporter would put that on the TRENDING page and then go out for a One-on-One interview to see WHAT the person that lives in this delusional environment looks like. I will NOT be stereotypical here.

        For ALL we know, it is a BORED Snowflake in Prez Broodhead’s (sp?) office that refuses to let Dr. B’s assistant use the latte machine…

        I SURE would like to see a profile of those folks with pertinent info on WHO is footing the $50K bill for their tuition to the Duke school…..originally established by my ancestral Methodist brethern to educate all the poor minority children of Durham county.

        • BobLee Reply
          12 months ago

          Just be grateful the Duke angry snowflakes are not your children / grandchildren… although it looks like Brodhead is going to hand them Duke on a silver platter.

          • NCSU68Grad
            12 months ago

            Brodhead is slated to be the Senior Citizen in Durham who was duped out of umpteen millions buy the internet emails about having an inherited fortune tied up in TinBuckToo or wherever. Is there ON ONE in charge of the BOG or BOD or Trustees that recognize that this person is mentally challenged due to all the catch phrase hammering that was done on his cranium? He is making Tom Ross look like Donald Trump in comparison to his behavior. THAT would be a great event…..send in the DONALD and let HIM show his statesmanship IQ and bring peace and tranquility to Duke…..

            Remember, it was Hillary that was considered to be a wise and effective negotiator that quelled the New Haven Nine free-for-all. She is credited as one of the saner voices that kept Yale from being burned down by the Black Panthers. She can barely attract 10 patrons NOW at Cafe NINE in the aforementioned CT township.

            Duke needs a resurrected Hillary to calm the chaos…..LORD….protect us all for THAT person….

          • BobLee
            12 months ago

            Where are Brodhead’s “Gang of 88” commandos ??

  • RowdyBlueTarHeeler Reply
    12 months ago

    re: inconsistent referees
    this fan had to bail on the game 5 minutes into the second half when Meeks got called for a foul on a hustle play, compounding the frustration. I was already plenty ticked about our inexcusable unforced turnovers and failure to figure out how to get the ball to the post players.
    My poor spouse, true blue she is, got so riled up that she blew out a retina and had to have surgery Tuesday evening!

    • BobLee Reply
      12 months ago

      YIKES !! ?

  • Doug Reply
    12 months ago

    FWIW, and it won’t make you feel any better about Enka, Lou’s son, Tom Bello died a few days ago at age 66. My late mom trained me to look at such things thinking it was more sensible that “ball” or any type of ball game in season. I like characters and thought Lou was a fine one. I did not know Lou or Tom. Tome was a Morehead & Rhodes scholar so I guess he was a smart fellow. According to the obit, Tom was National Minister for all North American Secular Franciscans for the last 6 years. I have never heard of NASF’s either but did Google it. So I did learn something which is more than typical fan behavior that blame ref’s because… Just because.

    • BobLee Reply
      12 months ago

      I recall Tommy Bello as quite a BMOC.

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