Roy goes full “Ernest T.”: “I ain’t no creature!”

April03/ 2016

Roy T BassIt happened in his post-game presser….  when it shoulda and coulda been all about the youngsters and their impressive Win over Syracuse…. Coach Roy “Dr. Jekyl” Williams morphed AGAIN into full “Mr Hyde” which in Ol’ Roy’s case is “Ernest T. Bass”….. terminally self-absorbed Town Nut.

That title line “I ain’t no creature” is, for those who haven’t memorized every Mayberry script… a classic Ernest T. Bass line along with “How do you do Mrs Wy-Lee?” …. and “It’s Me It’s Me… It’s Ernest T.”

(NOTE:  Here is the late Howard Morris explaining how he created one of TV’s most enduring characters ….. LINK.)

I hate to say “I called it”.  It was a pretty obvious call anyone coulda made.  With Bubba cringing in the wings and with Roy’s long-time “keeper” – SID Steve Kirschner – searching frantically for the tranquilizer dart…. Roy went vintage Roy.

Houston…. Roy’s Got A Problem

….. and it’s spelled R – O – Y.

Here is the Link. “Ernest T. Roy” “picked up a brick and flung it”.LINK

(NOTE:  I’m sure Roy said “Bill Guthridge” not “Guthrie”. )

With a worldwide audience having watched Villanova completely Nuke Oklahoma and then Royz Boyz surgically peel Boeheim’s Orange setting up a very appealing National Finals….Ernest T

Roy COULDA just strung together five minutes of well-worn coach-speak clichés, throw in a few “dadgumits”, take a sip of his Coca Cola and exit Stage Left.  But OH NO!  Not our boy Roy.  ….To quote Deputy Fife – “He’s a Nut!”

Let me reiterate for the umpteenth time times two…. as a basketball coach Roy Williams abso-damn-lutely knows his stuff.    You don’t get ever-how-many Ws he has… and how many trips to TFF… and the chance to win three Nattys… and do it with smoke and mirrors and a few Alcindors, Magics, Waltons, Jordans.  I do not begrudge Roy his plaque in Springfield at all.

Hellfire, I don’t even begrudge him his “ever-loosening screw”.   God created “the un-hinged Roys of this world” just for me to have a bumper crop of column fodder.   I accept full responsibility for Roy Being Roy Being Ernest T. Bass.  Mea culpa.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know the hard-core ABCers, with spittle-spewing from between tightly-clenched teeth,  are all screaming Les Robinson or “Herb” or even Pete Gaudet coulda done it (Roy’s success) if they’d had “The Scheme” keeping their players eligible.  Maybe…. who knows.

And maybe on some Great Getting Up Morning, Roy will have to pay that piper…. maybe some of us will actually still be alive to see it…. maybe.

Roy Williams can “coach” with the best of’em…. of his generation.   There are damn few, if any, “choir boys” in Roy’s Generation of Big Time College Coaches.   They all wade hip-deep 24/7 in the putrid cesspool of recruiting and Fat Cat bull****.

The surprise was NOT that Two of the four FF coaches (Roy & “Jimmy”) are linked to mega-malfeasances.   The surprise is that it is “only two”.  That Lon Kruger and Jay Wright are not….. that we know of.

As Roy continues on his never-ending “Poor Poor Pitiful Persecuted Me” Tour…. what might we expect between now and midnight Monday?

  • Will Roy require every member of “the media” to feel his nail-scarred hand”?
  • Will Roy pull up his $150 Peter Millar shirt to show us where the Centurion’s spear pierced his side?

Has there EVER been a nationally prominent coach more self-absorbed ….. more over-the-top delusional?  More totally convinced that it’s ALL ABOUT HIM ….. It’s ALL ABOUT ROY?


Has Roy “Ernest T.” Williams become….

The Donald Trump of Coaches?


Check Out New Quirkies ….

Including a NEW MONDAY article about Roy’s “attraction to martyrdom”.

ClickHere small


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