We still haven’t gotten to Media Circus Day for THE ULTIMATE GAME…. and yet another startling revelation has emerged concerning America’s Most Misunderstood (Black) Superstar – “CAM”.
…. his “weird, tiny little ears”.
Or so says Sports Pickle –
CHARLOTTE — Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton is unpopular with a certain segment of fans and the media, and the plainspoken quarterback offered an opinion on why that might be today, saying he assumes a lot of people are “freaked out by my weird, tiny little ears.”
“People fear what is different or things they can’t relate to,” said Newton. “It’s natural. And they’re used to players like Tom Brady and Peyton Manning and Russell Wilson who have normal ears. So when some people see what I’ve got going on the side of my head, I think they just get upset and lash out at everything I do. I can understand it.”
Newton was asked if he feels his race has anything to do with some of the criticism he receives.
“I don’t see that,” said Newton. “I’m a black man. There are more than a billion of us in the world. More than half the NFL is black. There are plenty of black QBs. I don’t see how my color could be an issue. It has to be my weird-ass ears.”
The likely MVP said he believes winning a Super Bowl championship would go a long way towards making those with tiny ears gain more acceptance.
“For years we’ve heard about people with tiny ears can’t be team leaders,” said Newton. “That maybe their ears aren’t big enough to be able to listen to coaches and teammates. That maybe players wouldn’t really respect a teammate with iddy-bitty ears. But I’m one game away from changing that perception forever. Those of us with miniature ears will be heard.”
Have I mentioned that….
For those of you in Gastonia, Carrboro, and Myers Park…. “PARODY” means IT’S A JOKE. If you don’t “get it” then THE JOKE is on you.
Lets see how many LTTEs this can generate…. how many indignant “open letters” from pinheads in Seattle…. and how many self-righteous socio-sports commentaries from millennial “sports journalists” convinced they have their thumbs on the pulse of America.
Excuse me…. a black SUV with tinted windows has pulled up in my driveway and a SWAT team is about to bash in our front door with one of those battering ram thingys. Hey…. one of the SWAT guys looks like ESPN Poobah John Skipper (UNC’75). Uh Oh….