AP: ..The League of Vindictive Weasels

WEasels
Agent Pierce
December07/ 2015

There was a movie a few years ago – The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.  It was a “steampunk” story of great literary heroes coming together to battle a Super Villain.  It starred Sean Connery as Alan Quartermaine and a bunch of other actors who weren’t Sean Connery.

I am bastardizing that title to describe a quite unheroic gang o’ vermin now infesting the NC General Assembly a/k/a “Jones Street”.

The League of Vindictive CINO Weasels (TLoVCW)

WEasels

Tim Moore

 

… Tiny Tim Moore(-gan)…. a/k/a “Richard Morgan’s kinda guy”

 

 

NelsonDollar

 

… Nelson “Bottom” Dollar….

 

 

Jason Saine

 

… Jason “GQ” Saine….

 

 

Kelly Hastings

 

… “Whiney” Kelly Hastings….

 

 

David Lewis

 

… David “Mr. Ethics” Lewis….

 

 

John Szoka

 

… John “Solar” Szoka….

 

 

“RINO” may not be the correct term any longer.  Maybe these beady-eyed backwoods politicos ARE Republicans in the same way that John McCain, “Orange” John Boehner, and Mitch “Turtleman” McConnell are Rs.   That they campaigned as “Conservatives” is where the rub comes in.  Should they be “CINOs”.

“Tiny Tim”, as Speaker of The NC House, is the leader of this motley gang of wannabe political thugs.   Duly-Elected weasels who have decided The NC House of Representatives would be their personal Garden of Personal Delights…. to manipulate as befits their personal pleasure, pocketbooks, and thirst for power…. Anyone questioning their right to do whatever they damn well please will find themselves, figuratively speaking (we hope!), “sleeping with the fishes”.

Just ask Justin Burr…. the most recent “David” to dare to challenge this Goliath cabal of “Because We Say So” Jones Street Scallywags.

“We’ll show him” sneers Tiny Tim, Nelson and their honchos.Luke Burr

Young Justin “Luke Skywalker” Burr is one of an ever-dwindling number of shining stars still glowing in the Republican pantheon.

For his courage in speaking out against “The League’s” iron-fisted oppression- Justin has been stripped of all his committee assignments and relegated to the Jones Street root cellar normally reserved for “the yucky Democrats”.

Actually that is not entirely true…. The League of Weasels has formed an unholy alliance with certain Democrats who share their ethical ilk.  An Alliance united by a belief that “the Great Unwashed” of either political party a/k/a The People of North Carolina are a bunch of dead-eyed dullards who have no clue what goes on in The General Assembly.   Their collective ignorance can easily be manipulated by The League of Weasels for their personal benefit.

Leading such a gaggle as a legislative assembly is, at best, herding feral cats in the dark with a three-legged border collie.

Most legislative bodies stumble along in various stages of dysfunctionality…. fueled by 100 or so conflicting egos still in shock, awed that they actually fooled enough people to get elected.  Go Figure?

Many legislative bodies actually reach a state of gridlock brought about by extreme dysfunctionality coupled with incredibly poor “leadership”.  “Gridlock” is not all that bad at all when it involves “government”.  Think of it as a patient going into a coma…. in which he no long feels pain.

Yea Olde “Esse Quam Videri” alas, does not enjoy that idyllic state of Legislative Gridlock.  We linger just outside that realm where the pain is acute.

“Tiny Tim” has harbored dreams of being a “tin-pot despot” most of his life going back to his halcyon days as a rampaging right-wing radical terrorizing South Building at UNC-CH.   Nothing wrong with that except even his fellow “right-wing radicals” back-in-the-day found Timmy “a bit much”.  Tim’s dreams came true when he flim flamed his way to being Speaker by building his “inner circle” i.e. League of Weasels…. Dollar, Saine, Lewis et al.   Promising each man whatever each considered the price of their personal integrity.

Their strategy sessions as Tim weaseled his way to Speaker involved “who wants what and how do we force those Eagle Scouts (like Justin Burr) to sit down – shut up – and “all in favor say Aye” when we tell’em to.

From backroom deals with the infamous Solar Schemers to kneecapping ANYONE who got in their way (Justin Burr)…. to controlling election campaign funding to benefit their little League o’ Weasels and require one/all to beg them for “just a few dollars” for a few yard signs.  The League of Weasels bag of dirty tricks overflows.

The Aphrodisiac of Power is an addiction for any politician regardless of ilk to start down the slippery slope of Situational Ethics.  A slope that increases incrementally in steepness with each “just this once….”

Tiny Tim and his League of Vindictive Weasels now face a “short session” where a legitimate opposition has formed within the Republican Majority.

Can this hearty band of “good guys & gals” stand up to the sledge-hammer tactics of Boss Moore-gan’s Goon Squad?

We shall see….

Meanwhile, ANYONE who dares challenge Tiny Tim (Moore) & His Goons quickly finds themselves “persona non grata” on Jones Street.

Speaking of dreams….

I, AgentPIerce, now dream of being added to Tiny Tim’s ever-growing No-Fly List along with Daily Haymaker, Carolina Plotthound, and “What Matters with Chad Adams”.  Any Repub legislator caught fraternizing with any of us will “be dealt with”.  Ooooooh, scary…..

I hear Chad is considering disguising himself as Laura Leslie and seeing if he could bum a cigarette off Tiny Tim. …. NO CHAD NO.

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Agent Pierce

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