BLS: ..Predicting “The Clash @ The Carter”

Crystal Ball
BobLee
November22/ 2015

I must do a Saturday’s Clash @ The Carter prediction for the purely commercial reason I did that Kate Upton column last Crystal Ballmonth.  Maybe I should title today’s incredibly insightful commentary:

Wolfpack To Wallop Visiting Fedorians….. IF…. UNC’s Black FBers join the Urkels/Carltons mini-mob to get “the Bush Woman” fired” etc etc etc. 

Cutting to the chase, I see this season’s #1 FB Rivalry within 50 miles of the intersection of I-40 and Miami Blvd” as a “toss-up”.   Either team winning would not, IMO, be an upset.  Will UNC new-found “relevance” get this year’s State / Carolina game as an Official Gameday Rivalry…. or still on the undercard like most years?

Of all the various possibilities…. low-scoring…. high-scoring…. blow-out either way…. I see ALL as conceivable except State holding UNC under 21 points.   That assumes (1) “weather” is not a factor….. or, of course, (2) that 85% of UNC’s two-deep do NOT join up with The Whining Urkels’ & Carltons’ 50 Outrageous Demands Mini-Mob.  Am I the only one wondering why Dr Debbie DDL was NOT with Urkel & Carlton last Thursday?

I see the likelihood of even one black Fedorian or one black Roy Boy joining the Urkels & Carltons any time soon as less likely than Chancellor Chihuahua (from Dartmouth) having Hawkeye Whitney’s love-child. ….. ruminate on THAT visual for 10 seconds!

Internet Fight

This is the week each Fall that both NCSU and UNCCH turn loose the truly demented of their board monkeys…. the ones they keep chained-up in the sub-basements of Reynolds and The Rat.   The Rat has been condemned and boarded up for the past ten years making it ideal for housing the most toxic of Tar Heel nutjobs.  This week the Red Bloods and the CBlue Crips board monkeys get to fling feces at one-another.

 

Off Topic…. there is “something” afoot over at The Wally.   “Cutt” banished a few locker room cancers last week and since the last 10 seconds of the Miami game his team has played like the Ted Roof “Wallys”.   I could say “like the Barry Wilson Wallys” but NOBODY remembers Barry.  Duke playing Missouri on Christmas in Shreveport would attract “dozens” assuming good weather.

Back to the feces-flinging board monkeys….  I have no clue how Vegas figures odds or how Fan Duel works….. or what McQueen Campbell is up to these days.   I DO KNOW that the words “UNCheats” and “Swahili” will be posted over 47,000 times this week.   Up from the usual 18,000 times in a normal week.

“Swahili” is the new “Amphibious”…. only 23 more years to go before it catches up in volume.  Payback is a real bitch.Ba Da Wings

Go into Ba-Da Wings at Mission Valley Shopping Center.   Yell “Swahili” and the whole place starts doing that Wolf – Pack – Wolf – Pack cheer and doing the little finger thing.   I did it two weeks ago.  It’s Pavlovian.

Both teams have enough “skill players” to score a lot.  Roster-wise State is “one Shadrach short” of the same team that blew out The Fedorians amid the pines a year ago.   Yes…. in the pre-Gene Era.   Vic Koenning will not be at The Carter on Saturday.

Nimrods will make waaay too big a deal out of Marquise Williams’ red-zone picks three months ago versus The Spurriaites and his multi-drops yesterday in The Beamer By-By Extravaganza.   In-between those, he had a very special season.

Certainly the Reds have played two teams considerably stronger than anyone the CBlues have played – Clem and ‘Noles.   In both of those Ls the Wuffs showed a potent offense.   Other than the Clem and ‘Noles games, the two schedules are a wash.  Cupcakes, Wake and those ACC fill-in schools north of Mason-Dixon that no one gives a crap about.

I mean really…. Boston College, Pitt and Syracuse collectively are “Zeppo – the 4th Marx Brother”.

The CBlues are in The Swofford Bowl regardless of what happens on Saturday.  Joining The Wallys as the only two Triangle-area teams to EVER play in The Swofford Bowl…. which is how Swoffy imagined it when he put the Wuffs in The Atlantic Division with The Dabos and ‘Noles.  Hehehehe…. Sneaky Swoffy…. very sneaky.

The Fedorians caught lightning-in-a-bottle this year….. The “Two Techs” (Ga & Va) tanking in the same year was an anomaly…. or another VERY sinister Swoffy conspiracy.  I can’t figure how he managed it.

The Fedorians have also benefited A LOT by avoiding key injuries in their O-Line.  Just like Wake Forest back in 2006.  Avoiding injuries is always the wild card in any “break-out” season.

Again…. no outcome will surprise me EXCEPT the Fedorian Offense not showing up.

Selfishly I’m hoping for (1) a VERY controversial ending….. Lordy, I do love CHAOS….. and (2) if the Fedorians win, they do something incredibly stoopid again.   The last times the Fedorians won at The Carter and at The Wally they did “Logo Stomp” and “Locker Room Trashing” respectively.   Both Off-The-Chart Stoopid.

One would hope Larry will request they not do something stoopid THIS year.  I doubt it even crosses his mind.

Is Larry a Lock to Leave?  The goggle-eyed goobers are all atwitter with multiple “wheres” LF is SURE to be headed to.   The same goggle-eyed goobers that guaranteed he was going to Tennessee.  There Larry FedoraWILL be opportunities either with current openings or “domino openings” as current vacancies are filled.

In addition to giving him his very own Hindenburg Hangar Amid The Pines (with a Smoothie Machine), BubbaTheRealAD will have to ante up another “mill or so/per” for 4-5 extra years….. plus another “few mill or so” to be spread among the staff.   And bringing in Gene II ain’t gonna be cheap.   IMO, Gene IS a Lock To Leave.

Urkel and Carlton got their UnderRoos in a wad over Chihuahua’s raise.  Larry already gets 4X what Chihuahua makes.

I figure Larry’s Dream Gig is Texas A&M which is not open right now.   Kevin Sumlin is not on the hot seat nor any longer on every “short list”.   That gig is not likely to be open this time around.   Charlie Strong’s seat in Austin is hotter than (insert name of something VERY hot) but is Larry a big enuff name to “do what Mack did” ????  Huuumm!

How deep are those Blue Zoner pockets?  How much are bragging rights worth to a hedge fund pirate?  How many “charging stations” does it take to be a Juggernaut?

Here’s a Franklin Street Puzzler??  Were rank/file TruBlues happier that the FB team won in Blacksburg…. or distraught over the BB loss in NORTHERN IOWA ??

Yes…. I know everyone on The Brickyard is SURE As God Made Little Green Apples that a MAJOR BIG-TIME DEVASTDrop The HammerATING NCAA HAMMER is going to be dropped on both UNC FB and MBB (as well as WBB, but who cares!) at some point in time.

The odds on that Devastating NCAA Hammer being dropped seem as likely as “a huge asteroid hitting Earth in the middle of Southpoint Mall.   I have no insider info on either NCAA hammers or monster asteroids.   But I suppose either / both are possible and might happen some day..

Theorizing about NCAA Hammers keeps ABCers from worrying about (1) Syrian refugees in Cary…. and (2) the likelihood that “one Earl from JoCo” could incite NC State’s tiny little handful of Urkels to do a “We Demand Too”.

Does NC State even have enough Urkels / Carltons on its campus to assemble a mini-mob?  Why is Chancy Randy not obsessed about D-I-V-E-R-S-I-T-Y like UNC’s Chihuahua and Duke’s Brodhead are?

Huummm, possibly a juicy subject for another day….

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PS:  Which area QB is 2-0 in his last two NFL games?  PR or Russell ……… or TJ Yates?   YOWSA!!

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A New Quirky is up listing all the coaching vacancies…. 51 possible moves and wild-ass guesses …. LINK

 

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BobLee
  • GWC Reply
    2 years ago

    If I’d said “real fan” that REALLY would have opened wide the gates of Tarheeldom . My own definition of a “real UNC alumnus” would be one who was actually a student ( I know , Carter’s Little Liver pills again ) at Carolina , a member of the GAA (Life or not) , pulls for all teams including tennis , field hockey , baseball , soccer etc. , is not just a MBB fan , knows the words to Hark the Sound and sings along , wears the correct blue (Carter’s again) , supports the administration ( unless they get TOO PC and forget free speech ) , isn’t overly rabid ( I know ) and actually pulls for fellow-ACC teams like Wake and State against outsiders , has probably never forgotten 1957 , 32-0 , and can name the starters , has never forgiven Steve Spurrier at Duke , remembers Don Klochak’s second half kick-off return in the 50-0 game in Durham , knows who Danny Talbott was , has read about the White Phantoms , drives through Gimghoul’s Glandon Forest once every Fall , and sometimes wonders if Bob Lee REALLY matriculated from Kinston and attended UNC ! Sometimes it seems his car might have broken down on Hillsborough St. and he just signed on over there like Heyman did in Durham . To your point however , some “real” Carolina fans/alums , in football particularly , give up with our first turn-over or the other team’s first points with a heavy sigh and a , “Here we go again , same old-same old , c’mon basketball season !” It’s sort of a reflex for many UNC fans/alums but maybe Marquise and crew will change all that forever by winning two of the last three but AT LEAST BEAT STATE SATURDAY !

    • BobLee Reply
      2 years ago

      HAA!!! I’ve been a GAA Life member since ’75 or so… AND count Danny T, Don McCauley and Duke’s Leo Hart as good friends ?? My estrangement from UNCCH is a combo of their ever-increasing extreme PC / radical liberal crap AND how “they” so mishandled the Great Unpleasantness to a fare thee well… The Carolina Way silliness just became too absurd to tolerate… AND, yes, I HAVE read Look Homeward Angel… ??

  • GWC Reply
    2 years ago

    Any real UNC alum who was worried more about the MBB game in Iowa than the FB game in Blacksburg this past Saturday isn’t worth their degree . We’re NOT going to go 32-0 in B-Ball and set a new school record this but we could beat Va.Tech , NC State , lose to Clemson , and win a top level bowl for Carolina’s best football season EVER ! EVER ! So don’t fret the No. Iowa loss . Our b-ballers should come around , win the ACC regular season , secure a #1, 2 or 3 seed in the NCAA’s and see what happens . Right now better be thinking about the Pack and the spheroid ball !

    • BobLee Reply
      2 years ago

      “any real UNC alum” ??? GWC, I fear there are more definitions of that species than Carter has little liver pills. 🙂

  • classichost Reply
    2 years ago

    For once the football gods were smiling, but what CLASS VPI showed after the game by carrying Beamer off the field, As opposed to the Ole Ball Coach which left his charges out to dry a month ago left to be chastised by Paul FInebaum from the sidelines of their own stadium and losing contests to of all people The Citadel (what VMI didn’t have a open date?).

    What a long strange trip this season has become, then again I think none of this would be happening for the Heels if they had pulled out that opening game. This is going to be a one shot deal, Jupiter aligned with Mars and peace ruled all the planets, Enjoy this while you can

    What has become the great parlor game for the board monkeys is theorizing just how this team will steal a slot in the playoff, which is something that cannot and will not happen. Ok I will play along, now if Notre Dame can lose, and if maybe Bama could stumble and maybe if Bedlam turns to the Cowboys favor, maybe just maybe we will see UNC on the bottom line when the pairing are announced, but board monkeys could also come flying out of Agent Pierces arse so lets not worry ourselves.

    And to be honest if it did, you might not be real happy with what could result, nice team, great story, but UNC would stand about the same chance as Barney Fife would have had if Andy had let him have “5 minutes out back with Ernest T. Bass”

    • BobLee Reply
      2 years ago

      Ernest T and Frank Beamer share a comment !! … I agree this has been a “stars-aligned season” for UNC (as was 2006 for Wake Forest) in regards to injuries to key players and “The Two Techs” being woeful. Barring a total blow-out W over Clem and 4-5 other major upsets around the country no way UNC gets to Final Four but a Top Tier Bowl is a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence to be cherished. …. IF they get by NCSU on Saturday. A Loss to NCSU and everything will suddenly taste bad.

      • Doug Reply
        2 years ago

        I know of no sane (there are a few) UNC fans contemplating a FB Final 4 berth. Most of them I know are mildly interested in football but might consider going to the Peach Bowl.

        • BobLee Reply
          2 years ago

          So… Who is paying for the $25,000,000 IPF and ready to pay mo’ millions to keep Larry/Gene ???

          • Doug
            2 years ago

            Great question. No RC member I know would earmark IPF $$ intentionally.

          • BobLee
            2 years ago

            I’m not on that “call list” so I’m not sure how those “designated for a specific purpose” campaigns work. I’m sure all booster club follow a similar procedure whatever that is. … If “they” can not raise the funds for Larry’s IPF Bling I suspect that would negate any new deal he might be thinking of signing. I cannot imagine giving “real $$$$” to such silliness. Maybe having that level of disposable income turns one’s “good sense” into pudding ???

      • Momo Reply
        2 years ago

        BL, do you think Beamer’s exit from coaching is more the right way, and honorable, than Spurrier’s?

        • BobLee Reply
          2 years ago

          Certainly. SS did not want his final game playing Dabo in Williams-Brice. Can’t blame him for that !

  • Robedixon Reply
    2 years ago

    There you go again throwing another log and more fuel on that conspiracy fire down at the brickyard with another gem about State being placed in the tough win football division. This one will likely hook in even some of the brighter minds over in Raleigh. As for Fedora and his defensive pal I have a friend who is tied into the AD office there telling me that both will be signing “reworked” contracts shortly, maybe even this week. Be interesting to see how good his info turns out to be.

    • BobLee Reply
      2 years ago

      “tied-in friends” are always right except when they aren’t. …. The Great NC State / Atlantic Division Conspiracy has been around a while. I WILL accept credit for it of course.

  • TerriG Reply
    2 years ago

    Boston College, Pitt and Syracuse collectively are “Zeppo – the 4th Marx Brother”.

    BOFFO! I just love that line. It requires a bit of show biz trivia and probably 90% of readers don’t get it, but I do. It made my morning.

  • 58 Wolf Kennel Reply
    2 years ago

    Great start to the State-Carolina showdown next Saturday. Your insights, language, inside jokes, and provocative thinking are on pitch with your best BL writings. I do disagree, however, in trying to conflate Missouri happenings with anything at State, Carolina, or Duke is maybe good for goobers but not accurate. Time will tell, but still think you are overplaying the race card.
    The game is clearly on the tube (3:30PM ABC, ESPN2), but is this one that would be more enjoyed in person or in couch? Should come as no surprise to you, but I think State will win handily, and the responses will be that it was just not a critical game for the Tar Heels. Will be there to find out.
    Go Pack !!

    • BobLee Reply
      2 years ago

      Overplaying the race card ??? … only you could reach that conclusion BK.
      .
      As I say… any outcome is possible so long as it is controversial and involves lots of stoopidity. As for trite excuses in the wake of a loss, BOTH schools teams and fans always come well-equipped in that category.

  • unctarheel1984 Reply
    2 years ago

    Not remember “the Barry Wilson Wallys” Who could forget “RED means GO!” bumper stickers and that two week period of hope and optimism?

    Heck, I even remember “Steer Clear, We’ve Got The Veer!” from a lighter blue heaven. I suspect you remember that one, too, BL.

    • BobLee Reply
      2 years ago

      I was always a Red Wilson kinda guy myself.

  • NCSU68Grad Reply
    2 years ago

    Doug,
    Don’t have a clue about Hawk’s current social or sexual partner. In the world of UNC’s Neutral Gender DEMANDS (could not get the BOLD to work like they did)….it might not be as strange as it sounds….and Hawk is probably being dissed a couple of orders of magnitude WORSE than the Blue Smurfette.

    I will give BL credit for a thought provoking visual. Reminds me of the YouTube videos or the wedding photos where copulating canines interrupt the photo shoots. Think a BIG (175 pound) Black Malamute male and a 1 pound (soaking wet in blue shampoo) Chihuahua….Don’t know if it will viral or not….but add in a logo for each….and it WILL get some clicks.

    Vegas has UNC as a one TD favorite….which is, in reality, 2 TD’s given the supposed HOME TD advantage. Of COURSE, that was before Commish John set up the War Room and is whispering interpretations to the replay booth….so, flip a coin….Unless there is a significant number of injuries or some of the UNC lad go “arm in arm” into South and occupy it in the name of diversity….then who knows…??

    What I do know, from personal observation, is that the “Cahtah” SHOULD not see any worse officiating than last week. GUESS who the crew was….?? That’s right….the infamous “Don’t know the rules” gang….the UoM v. Dook Crew….the one that just came off a TWO WEEK Suspension for being Dumb, Blind and Clueless. They handled the Pack v. Cuse conflict with the same level of ineptitude as they did U v. Dook. Have not seen the boards or the emails….but you gotta think that plenty of video snippets are being sent (by both side) to the Haloed Halls (think Vatican to Catholic) and the War Room in ACC HQ…

    In the UNC v. VT game, there is a video clip circulating. Ron Cherry threw a flag for a play that DE Dadi Nicolas was involved in. Dadi was infuriated…..but, since they are BOTH of the same ethnic persuasion, he could NOT call on the UoMizzou crowd to come onto the field and stage a protest. Instead, Dadi just did the usual thing…..slap Ref Cherry’s arm. NOW, where was Swoff? Ron Cherry did NOT eject Dadi….he SHOULD HAVE. Ron is a unilateral HATE…..UNC and NCSU are lock step on his deficiencies. BUT, give me a break……HOW was that NOT an automatic Ejection….or even turn in the Uni?

    We shall see at 3:30 (prime time lately) what we shall see. There ARE some seats still unsold…..but they are NOT going to be Grouponed or Living Socially discounted. Amazingly enough, the CF was near sellout (55,260). Based on the Aluminum Guestimate, we actually had an attending number of close to 50K. Took a while for the greenies (all the RPD, SHP, WCSD, CF ticket takers, CF ushers, Janitors, whatever) were wearing their Fluorescent Green vests….so you never knew whether the greenies in the distance were packin’ or directin’. BUT, I felt safe. I had watched the Obumer’s remarks (as well as the ones today) and he told me that I AM SAFE….and Putin’s mouthpiece just said that ISIS (from Syria) is all the fault of the USofA or more specifically, The Obama Administration. Funny thing, that Russian did NOT fit the White NRA Teabagger Southern Redneck Right Wing Radical Conservative (did I leave out some group?). SO, I will go next week and feel safe….even with the light blue crowd invading….as folks sometimes go out of town for T’day and tickets are to be had….

    • BobLee Reply
      2 years ago

      I might need a full team of Navaho codebreakers for this one. I think Swoff is saving Jim Knight’s unretirement for UNC v Clem in Charlotte. ALTHOUGH more $$$ likely for Swoff’s ACC if Clemson goes to Final Four. You KNOW the ESPN ad sales guys are THRILLED with the possibility of Iowa in the Final Four. 🙂

      • wolfdon Reply
        2 years ago

        Great!…..always look forward to another 68Grad column and your pithy comments.:)

        • BobLee Reply
          2 years ago

          would not want to disappoint you.

  • MB in Balmer Reply
    2 years ago

    I agree that something is amiss at Duke. Has Cutt “lost his locker room”?

    • BobLee Reply
      2 years ago

      That (losing his locker room) is what happened at Missouri well before the protest crap. I can’t imagine Cutt letting that happen. I give him credit for recruiting a higher class of kid. Guess not! The Wallys definitely went into the tank after the Miami mess.

  • Todd Lesley Reply
    2 years ago

    This game will be determined by where UNC’s players minds are that day. Last year they had a letdown after Duke win. Interesting that UNC does not get any football playoff love. I certainly think they are as good as ND.

    • BobLee Reply
      2 years ago

      “UNC does not get ANY football playoff love…” ???? I disagree with that blanket statement. SOS has to be a factor. That SoCaro, GaTech, Duke, Miami and VaTech have had lousy records hurts UNC, while not being UNC’s “fault”. Wait until the next two weeks. If UNC goes 12-1 beating Clem, they WILL be a Top 6-7 team. In the end its how you finish the year. ND has to beat Stanford @ Stanford… not easy.

  • Doug Reply
    2 years ago

    Yesterday I was invited to a couple of viewing parties for “the Heels game” only to find out it was the MBB game rather than FB. A fairly typical occurence. Just after the end of that OTHER game in Blacksburg a friend posted on Facebook “Hell yeah Carolina.” Every response to the comment mentioned only the BB loss. Larry is surely as aware of this as the average fan. So yeah, he’s had a dream season, his stock is high so why not depart to something other than a basketball school. Sounds like LSU may also open up. Night games in Baton Rouge! I wonder if Guru Gene would stay to become the UNCHBC? I know that would piss enough people off to make me enjoy it even more. BTW the comment linking Hawkeye to Chancellor Chihuahua was extremely unfair to Hawkeye. 🙂 Even ’68 might even agree with me for once.

    • BobLee Reply
      2 years ago

      But imagine what their combined DNA could produce ?? I think LSU would aim high than Larry… but maybe not. Gene to stay as UNC HFBC would be intriguing and is being bantered about on Franklin Street. I agree that F’s stock will never be higher than the next two weeks.

      • Doug Reply
        2 years ago

        I’m with you on LSU but the chain reaction created by even more openings than what is known now is more complicated than Chinese arithmetic to figure out. Not sure about Blacksburg but I think the folks there seem to have a very high opinion of themselves in the CFB world. It sure ain’t Austin, TX but then again neither in Clemson, SC. I can see Va Tech reverting to an also ran as easily as regaining juggernaut status. At least they don’t have BB on the brain there.

        • BobLee Reply
          2 years ago

          The future of VaTech might depend on whether UVa makes a move too. If both rivals “start over” who establishes the recruiting beachheads first in Tidewater and NOVA will be a factor.

          • john
            2 years ago

            why wouldn’t a school that can pay big money approach the larry and gene show as a package?
            it’s much more compelling than either without the other…
            i think South Carolina would go for that.

          • BobLee
            2 years ago

            SoCar is more interested in the Houston guy supposedly.

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