BLS: ..Celebrating “A Kate Upton Week”

Kate Upton 9
BobLee
October04/ 2015

When one’s Mission Statement involves the phrase Human Foolishness and The Abundance Thereof, one celebrates periods such as this past week.  To paraphrase from Charlie Dickens’ classic A Tale of Two Cities:  “It Was The Best of Times…. The Most Foolish of Times”.

It was A Kate Upton Week!  i.e. My “cup(s) runneth over” …..with boffo material.

When a week includes not one but TWO Hall of Fame Basketball Coaches PLUS a Power Five Commissioner doing Hem-Hawing while wearing Sgt Schultz’ helmets and blubbering incoherently…. And the Miss Texas Thing; THAT, in the smart-aleck website biz, is a Walk-Off Week.

BobLee, was all this contrived just to run that cheesecake pic of Kate Upton knowing it would attract mucho clicks?  Did I arrange The SMU Thing…. The Louisville Thing…. The Miss Texas Thing…. and The Swofford Waterboarding just to post the Kate Upton pic?  Yes, I confess.  I DID arrange the SMU, Louisville, and Miss Texas things…. but the Swofford Waterboarding Interview was “a bonus” I got simply for living right.

AgentPierce says all this week needed was for Joe Biden, AlGore and John Kerry to all announce their candidacy for King Of The World while Hillary reveals she now identifies as a male and henceforth will be referred to as “Otto”.   Pierce is never satisfied.

The Louisville Ho Thing has had 48 hours to fester under the hot lights of global scrutiny.   Vlad Putin, when he heard “Rick Pitino was running ho’s for his recruits” asked the same questions all of you did.  Were they “black or white”?  Meaning the ho’s of course, not the recruits.  They were all black, ho’s and recruits, for whatever difference that makes in 2015.   Then, of course, “the media” scurried to find pics of that skanky gal Rick “had sex with” on the table in the restaurant a few years ago.  She was white.

   Skank on Table                 Ho Madam Mamma

Will America ever reach a point that the race of skanky wimmen is NOT relevant?

Rick PitinoX….. Rick’s explanation for that sex-on-the-table thing was “I was traumatized by my brother-in-law’s death in The Twin Towers on 9/11” (three years earlier)…. that was somehow relevant as Louisville subsequently named it’s Jock Dorm – Billy Minardi Hall – after Rick’s deceased brother-in-law – Billy Minardi.   Which, ironically, was where the ho’s were alledgedly sneaked in the side door for the awaiting recruits.

But for sheer IRONY….. Nothing can beat The Leslie Strohm Connection.  Leslie Strohm was UNC’s Chief Counsel a/k/a “The University Lawyer” when Marvin tweeted back in the Spring of 2009.   Insiders “credit Leslie The Lawyer” for much of the really really dumb covering-up and delayinLeslie Strohmg tactics that have come to symbolize The Great Unpleasantness.   I am sure Leslie has her supporters around Chapel Hill.  So do Deborah Crowder, “Mother” Burgess, Fidel Castro, and Saul Alinsky; but I have yet to meet one.  I’ve also yet to meet Fidel or Saul.

No one asked Leslie to reconsider when she announced her resignation (wink, wink) in Nov 2014.   She resigned to become Chief Counsel for The University of Louisville.  1-2-3 Yeeee Haa!

How the heck did I make The Leslie Strohm Connection so quickly?  Being “an Internet Legend” carries the burden of “just knowing crap like that” PLUS having some really awesome sources who know the cool stuff I don’t know.

UPDATE: Madam says: “Of course Rick Pitino knew….”

In the grand “scheme”, providing ho’s for recruits, or the more euphemistically “getting them laid”, is certainly not new in Big Time College Sports. Whether it be with “pros” or with wantonly willing coeds, it is as much a recruiting tradition as “steak & lobster”.

Whenever a hard-core Wolfpacker mentions “The Sweet Carolines” followed by prolonged giggles and snorts he is implying that those legendary “UNC hostesses” from the 1970s did more than read selective excerpts from Look Homeward Angel to young men considering becoming student-athletes at The Flagship.  I was 1,500 miles away during those days so I have nothing to contribute on that subject.

Does every Blue Chipper “get laid” on his Official Visit?  Of course not.  Tim Tebow didn’t.  But IF a blue-chipper implies he’d like “something for dessert” other than a hot fudge sundae, there are “ways to make it happen” at every Power Five institution.

Louisville & It’s Ho’s is a BFD because of Rick Pitino.   There are about a dozen Elite Coaches in BT College FB/MBB that “Everyone hates…. except their own fans who worship them”.   Pitino is one…. Calipari, Coach K, Ol’ Roy, Spurrier, Saban, Meyer are a few others.   I’m not sure how a coach reaches that echelon.  Tom Izzo for instance, is NOT universally hated.  Mark Richt is not (except today by Georgia lunatics).  Les Miles… maybe.  Dabo?…. nah.

Larry Brown is a special case.  “Ol’ Puppy Dog Eyes” transcends being hated to being “the poster boy” for a half century of blatant hypocrisy in major college sports.  Larry Brown is to coaching what Richard Nixon is to politics and Hitler is for dictators and what Bill Clinton is for horn dogs.  If a Family Feud Question was “name a corrupt cheating college coach” – Larry will be The #1 Answer.   Calipari will be a close #2.

OK…. a quick run thru of yesterday’s games….

MAJOR Shout-Out to Larry/Gene and The Fedorians’ incredible comeback at Historic Grant Field Across From The Varsity.   PJ’s Jackets are NOT the Rambling Wrecks of last November.  To lose to Duke and UNC back-to-back must have Bobby Dodd spinning in his grave.   I attribute the historic victory to “wearing traditional unis”.  So far this season, the Tar Heels are steering clear of the FuBu urban unis in favor of “old school” colors.  I’m not naive enough to believe that is permanent but do appreciate each time they do.

Not a good day in The Carter @ The Fairgrounds for Coach Dave’s Young Men.  Their juggernaut ground game was not as juggernauty against a Major College team as it had been in the four pre-season exhibitions.  I was flipping around the dial so I did not see EVERY play.  I’m sure there were 2-3 key plays when “the refs screwed us”.  If not, it would be the first Wuff loss in recorded history without at least one.  A Friday visit to Blacksburg Eskimo on ice flowwill be “key” to the Pack’s ACC season.   To say “The Hokies are in chaos” is an understatement.  Beamer and Spurrier are running neck-neck as candidates for “an ice floe”.   Neither one should buy green bananas.

The Iron Dukes won again before “fewer people than actually show up for a Bill Barber political revival”.  They coulda moved the BC game into Cameron and still had empty seats.   Coach Cut has a rock-ribbed defense!  Whattayaknow?

The Fighting Dabos hung on in a rain-soaked Death Valley because they “brought their own guts”.  Credit 80,000 Tigers for a special level of fanaticism.Paul Finebaum

Can Mark Richt survive THIS ONE?  For 15+ years Mark has won “every game except the ones that matter”.    This one MATTERED and his Dawgs got whupped like rented mules by The Tide.   The Finebaumers will be En Fuego this week.  ….. The Rebels drowned in The Swamp.   Bielema found someone he could beat at Rocky Top.

Up North…. Urban escaped by the hair of his chinny chinny chin.  The Michigan Men rolled on.   Nebraska has fallen into The Abyss. ….. Am I the only one who noticed that Mack Brown NEVER comments about the latest Texas massacre…. his silences are deafening.

Earlier this week, John Calipari said “I don’t use a computer, don’t even know how to turn one on”.   I was hoping Roy would top that by asking “What’s a prostitute?”  The Swoff is listed as “still in shock” from Damn Dan’s “waterboarding”…. and Larry Brown was reported having dinner with Miss Texas and Kyrie at The (swanky) Mansion on Turtle Creek.

It WAS Quite a Week!

It’s October !!  That means The NFL will display it’s dislike for breast cancer by wearing pink wrist bands and towels.  I still like my suggestion of – “We Will Wear Condoms When We Bang Groupies” Month.   That might significantly reduce the number of daddy-less babies in NFL markets.  But if they don’t care, why should I? ….. sigh.

###

If you are not checking Quirky News at least five times a day every day…. you are soooo “out of the loop”.

BobLee

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Doug
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Doug

BTW, the cheesy rotating photos of Kate are abhorrent and completely disgusting. Please show us more of them. ?

wolfdon
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wolfdon

What a pleasant surprise! I place the index arrow on the bottom edge of the picture, hit the scroll down arrow and get a full frontal view of Kate………

Allen W. Smothers
Guest

Perfectly acceptable answers for all ACC administrators, coaches and athletic department personnel… “I did not know…” “I was unaware…” “I had no knowledge of…” “I cannot be certain that…” “I was never made aware of…” “It came as a complete surprise to me…” “It was a rogue assistant’s fault…” and the always popular… “Blame Leslie Strohm…”

I have only one question for the aforementioned and their undying board-monkeys… “Which would you rather have as YOUR coach, A Cheatin’ ass Liar or an Ignorant Fool?” Cause he’s one or the other, period!

NCSU68Grad
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NCSU68Grad

BL, You truly HAVE outdone yourself. I read this earlier and decided to see how it was cookin’….mighty FINE…..Mighty Fine. If you can find some KU on a trampoline….your click count would skyrocket. I believe the Sweet Caroline story….as two folks from the fine institution and involved with the BB & FB programs told me about it and their accounts were logical and also similar and this was in two different work assignments. Add that to your unconfirmed sightings issues. BUT, since one of JKF’s “Virgin” interns came out a few years ago and published her memoirs (was about the… Read more »

Bob
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Bob

How long til we see Kate eating a cheeseburger while running in a Hardee’s commercial. The last one featuring volleyball made me hungry. Later BobLee

Bob
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Bob

How sick, what would you think if she were a daughter of yours! Shame yourself for expressing such demonic behavior.

Baller
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Baller

Bob,where is your wife or do you have a wife!

Baller
Guest
Baller

Yes

Tim-inBoston
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Tim-inBoston

“Granny Was A Sweet Caroline” …. that screams for its own Ray Stevens song.

Frank Linstreet
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Frank Linstreet

This column has ENORMOUS Potential for soooo many reasons. 🙂

SeaIsland Gambler
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SeaIsland Gambler

A trip to the This Week’s Sign of the Apocalypse All You Can Eat buffet if ever there was one!

So much chaos! Too much for Barry Yo-Momma to blame it all on George Bush in a single sitting… Especially the account of Slick Rick being amazed that hos be entertaining his prospective student-athletes…

58 wolf kennel
Guest
58 wolf kennel

Very busy week all around. And BL you have captured it with the funniest blog of all time. You really had to be close to all the subject material to appreciate the breadth and depth of the humor, especially with the nekkid truths you slipped in as well.
And yes the Wolfpack had several horrible calls and pieces of bad luck at the most inopportune times. Just wasn’t meant to be a win. Got home in time to appreciate the Tar Heels’ win in Atlanta.
All interesting stuff. Rave on !!!!

BabsB
Guest
BabsB

Wasn’t aware of the problem at L’Ville. I’ve always liked Pitino, but I guess that since he’s in the ACC, you need to find ways to recruit against the big dogs! Since the beginning of time, prostitution has been everywhere. I remember when UNC still had the “Sweet Carolines” to show recruits around campus. The feminazis did away with them years ago. I just had to laugh at this one, especially with Rick’s stance on there being no way L’Ville would be involved in such shenanigans.

Doug
Guest
Doug

You have most finely encapsulated the tumultuous week that was. But firstly is it even legal to have photos of Leslie Strohm & Kate Upton at the same time even when an internet legend does it? Be more careful in the future or you may wind up with a 15 yard penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct. I’d be more inclined to go with the 5 yard illegal procedure penalty if I was officiating. Secondly, why do so many in the media oppose torture except when they get to torture a poor ACC Comish, a greedy CEO, or a Christian Televangelist? It… Read more »

uncleron
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uncleron

Somehow ho’s , slimy lawyers and collegiate sports seem to be as compatible as co-colas and honey buns. Here’s one for future rumination on how pimps don’t like nobody playin’ without a finders’ fee: (sorry for the link, I figure you will clean it up )

http://www.si.com/more-sports/2015/09/22/draftkings-fanduel-betting-ncaa-athletes-eligibility

Edward
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Edward

Could you post that picture at least once a week ? Or maybe a slooooooo motion video of her running ? Great post .

Edward

PS: don’t forget PIPPA pics.