Where State is Hiding the Hindenburg !

NC State IPF
BobLee
September01/ 2015

Yesterday (Monday) I had one of my Lunches w/ A Legend with a Lifetime Member of The Wolfpack Club. He and I get together 3-4 times/year at The Backyard Bistro to resolve whatever Socio-Cultural Ills we did not eradicate at earlier lunches. This has been going-on for 4-5 years.  We never seem to run out of socio-cultural ills…. or a certain Unpleasantness to discuss.

I asked him “How are “Littlest Angel” (his wife) and your two sons doing?”

He, in turn, asks me “Who in the hell is in charge of that insane asylum over in Chapel Hill?”

Littlest Angel and his two sons are doing quite a bit better than the aforementioned “insane asylum over in Chapel Hill”.

Coincidentally, a day earlier – Sunday – I stood in the parking lot of Providence Baptist Church following Danny Lotz’ Memorial Service also being queried by another avid Wolfpacker about “what the hell is going on over yonder?”  It is a frequent question.

NOTE: Danny’s service, as expected, attracted a packed sanctuary of area Who’s Who and Who’s That’s including this one African preacher who prayed in a thick Ugandan dialect for AT LEAST 15 minutes or may be it was for 15 hours. Bless his heart!

….. reminding me, of course, of Holden Thorp’s first ever question to me over chili dogs at Sutton’s Drug Store – “BobLee, why does everybody care so much about what goes on over here?”

Holden has moved on to be Assistant Head Wizard @ Hogwarts (a/k/a “Wash U” in St Louis), but the universal curiosity about “over yonder”
persists.Quidditch

Speaking of Holden…. he is doing very very well. Hogwarts’ Quidditch team recently defeated its arch-rival Eton on those famed “playing fields of”. Their A Capella choir is also nationally ranked. He and Pistol have become quite the Cardinals’ fans. All’s well with The Family Thorp.

So me and my Bistro Buddy went thru all the usual subjects guys talk about…. TGU ….. Donald Trump ….. How hot is Marie Osmond (hubba hubba) ….. How corrupt is Hillary ….. more TGU ….. Racheal Ray (??) …. Is Gene Chizik “a Guru” ….. and his sincere concern that 58WolfKennel “has a screw loose”. To which my answer was “A” screw loose?”

As we were man-hugging our good bys in the parking lot he asked “Have you seen State’s Indoor Practice Facility”? My first thought was what does THAT have to do with Marie Osmond…. but I recovered to say “No, I haven’t.”

“Oh, You HAVE TO SEE IT…. Follow me.” So we caravanned up Trinity Road to Art Chansky’s favorite Fairground football complex.

He was right. “It” HAS to be seen. My first thought was:

“OMG, they are hiding the Hindenburg in there

…. or maybe Snoopy One !!!”

Hindenburg

OK, before I rip into the absolute ABSURDITY of such a facility…. and ABSOLUTE ABSURDITY is being kind…. “Everybody else” either has one….. wants one …. or plans to tear down their current one to build a bigger one. “Everybody” includes The Flagship and, probably, Cardinal Gibbons High School across the street.  

NC State is simply “we got one too-ing” with this latest Big Time Athletic ABSURDITY.   “Indoor Practice Facilities (IPF)” are the Jumbotrons of the second decade of the 21st Century.

I can see Coach Dave on his knees begging Frau Yow….

“But but but Madame Frau I JUST GOTTA have a fancy IPF. Surely Bobby (Purcell) can go squeeze a few Fat Wuffs for the chump change (millions) so’s I can keep attracting future “Shadrachs” to come here and earn their Quantum Physics degrees and go forth to save the polar ice cap…..”.

I bet it was the part about “save the polar ice cap” that got Frau and Bobby all teary-eyed. …… “You betcha Coach Dave.  Bobby go shakedown some bragging rights-obsessed Fat Wuffs.” ….. Yes, ma’m.

The hundreds of season ticket-holders whose parking spaces got eaten up by Dave Doeren’s Dirgible Garage surely gave them up eagerly for the greater good of good ol’ NC State.

As my Lupine buddy and I peered thru a window into the MASSIVE facility, I swear I could hear The Caisson Song in the background as I thought:

Roman Gabriel didn’t need “one of these” to come to State.
Dick Christy didn’t need “one of these” to come to State.
Johnny Evans didn’t need “one of these” to come to State.
Dennis Byrd didn’t need …..
Ted Brown didn’t need ……
Jim Richter didn’t need ……

Cowdog didn’t need …..
Torrey Holt didn’t need ……
“Philip” didn’t need ……
Mario Williams didn’t need …..
TA McLendon didn’t need ……
“Russell” didn’t need ……
Hell…. “Four Strikes” Shadrach didn’t need “one of these” to come to State.

But they all came anyway and did pretty darn well under the harsh Spartan conditions of Wolfpack Football Before The IPF. …… AMAZING!

Did all these legendary Wolfpack Warriors actually practice in the cold & rain on the relatively rare occasions of inclement weather in Piedmont NC in October / November?   Are Frau and Dave anticipating that that aforementioned “melting polar ice cap” is going to create intolerable practice conditions any day now?

The thought of a wet & cold Dennis Byrd actually having to practice “outdoors” in the same conditions he might have to play in on Saturday sent chills up my spine. OH THE MISERY ….. OH THE HORROR!

My next thought was:  “Geeee, wonder how many fancy jock dorms could fit inside there?” I’m betting a 200-room Ritz Carlton with room left over for a 747…. and Tab Thacker.  Hellfire, Wendell Murphy could easily herd 10,000 head of hogs in there.

“Why does it have to be so massive?” I asked my friend…. who was laughing as hard as I was at the total absurdity we were standing in the shadow of.

“So they can practice punts and kickoffs” he replied thru our hooting.

“Oh, you mean so the kickers don’t get used to kicking under the same cold/wet conditions they might have to kick in during a real game.” I noted.

“Yes”….. by now our sides were hurting we were laughing so hard.

“I gots to ask…. did you give Purcell any $$$$ for this silliness?”

“HELL NO…. and I didn’t give a nickel for that stupid “fancy jock dorm” either” he added.

All this ridiculous fancy big-dollar “Football Arms Race” crap just to impress semi-literate 17 y/os. Once Everybody has Giant Jumbos and Giant IPFs and Fancy Jock dorms and fancy locker rooms with hot tubs and foosball tables…..whats left?

I figure its only a matter of time before…..

“Coach, MAYBE I’ll come to your school – MAYBE – if your wife will give me a lap dance. How bad you want me, Coach?”

“Honey, could you come in here for a minute….. bring a teddy.”

###

NOTE:  I can already hear Kennell’s BS-planation now…. “It’s Wonderful!  The next time a hurricane hits the NC coast, the entire city of New Bern can move in here and live for a week….”

Speaking of $$$$, my Wolfpack pal had to go “make some”. We man-hugged again and we both drove off down WestChase Drive.

The sounds of our laughter filled the air as we left….. where State is Hiding the Hindenburg.

 

###

BobLee

81
Leave a Reply

avatar
24 Comment threads
57 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
22 Comment authors
BobLeeVaWolf82Dr Wireoldwuf vetDoug Recent comment authors

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of
VaWolf82
Guest
VaWolf82

I nearly had a wreck driving around in circles trying to figure out what I later learned was a blimp hangar in Santa Ann, CA.

comment image

Dr Wire
Guest

I could see Leroy Jethro Gibbs slapping you on the back of yo’ head questioning your self-proclaimed astuteness with “an indoor football practice facility is a big building, ya think?” I have too wondered about its location as have many State faithful, but the number of people can probably be counted on one hand that have talked with the Engineering firm who signed off on the location 3-5 years ago concerning a facility on the “wish list” since Rivers’ caught a TD in Kenan. I am thinking economic realities such as site cost (prep and construction), placement for long term… Read more »

oldwuf vet
Guest
oldwuf vet

Got a feeling we would’ve heard louder howls from students on main campus if they hadn’t just finished the new Talley Student Center. Walking through the SC with daughter during early stages of renovations I remarked, “I can’t believe they are renovating this place, it was new when I was here….,..in, never mind, that was 40 years ago.” BK comes loaded for bear, don’t he? His knee jerk is a lot more potent and impassioned than mine would be. Please don’t encourage expansion of the vet school; latest studies indicate there are10K too many of us. I’ll have to explain… Read more »

kypackman
Guest
kypackman

I think you wrote this column just for the purpose of poking BK. Shame on you for purposely agitating a guy with a couple of loose screws.

PS – My thanks to Doug for posting the youtube video of the brunswick stew guy. It inspired me to try making some myself. Made a big pot last weekend and it was awesome.

NCSU68Grad
Guest
NCSU68Grad

I do apologize for a new comment…..but your email about BK’s post and the comments got my curiosity up. I felt this befit a NEW post….Per a sports site that discusses how you “Design” an IPF – November, 2014 “Over the past five years, six schools competing in the ACC have built indoor practice facilities, while another four are scheduled to open by the end of 2015. The University of Florida, lone holdout in the SEC, recently announced that it was seeking design bids for a potential facility”. You commented that UNC has an IPF, but more discretely disguised…..I guess… Read more »

Alan Pate
Guest
Alan Pate
Doug
Guest
Doug

99.99% of 5,10, 30, whatever year(s) strategic plans are obsolete once the ink is dry. Maybe this suits in west Raleigh are thinking now is the time to move. Their nemesis is wounded. As you said if UNC is THAT target, someone is aiming low.

ultraviolet
Guest
ultraviolet

Further evidence of the wussification of America. Who would guess the effete, academic oriented athletes at UNC would practice under tougher conditions than the supposed blue collar Wolfpack. Of course, after watching last year I can’t swear the Tarheels practiced anywhere. Still, another sign the end times are upon us.

Doug
Guest
Doug

It looks like the Quonset hut, Cole Field House in College Park, MD. Also reminds one of Olympic venues built and under used/not used after the Games are over. Best I can tell the ROI can never be quantified even assuming the ~30 some inclement weather days figure from 2014. But what does rational thinking have to do with any of this silliness. Oneupsmanship is inevitable for neighboring schools. I could have never made in coaching because after showing the kid the brand, spanking, new IPF I’d have probably said this is where were going to run your ass on… Read more »

58wolfkennel
Guest
58wolfkennel

“BL, BL, BL, leave town for a day and you create three new blogs. However, this one is causing me to give a double HARRUMPH !!, one personal and one institutional. On a personal note, ironically and humorously, our family has always reveled in having members with a “screw loose”. It lets one roll with the punches of life instead of having permanently constricted sphincter muscles. And by the way, even though it is always your column, it doesn’t seem fair that your other Wolf friends and responders can gig me through you, but I don’t get a chance to… Read more »

geek49203
Guest
geek49203

The public has fickle tastes when it comes to sporting events. Just ask the NASCAR people who are busy pulling out seats around their tracks and trying to ‘splain why their Hall of Fame is a ghost town. I recall when baseball was much a bigger thing, and my grandfather talked about harness racing. Don’t tell the powers that be, but the big time sports we see today are likely to be the empty stadium white elephants in a couple of decades, maybe less. Don’t tell the academic powers that be, but the current university system won’t be around in… Read more »

ultraviolet
Guest
ultraviolet

I’m still trying to get past the ‘Bistro’ thingy. That’s where Washington pointy heads go to ‘solve’ the country’s problems whilst writing up their expense reimbursement forms over martinis. Were there ferns and quiche aplenty? Were there no diners or barbecue places available? I am near my disillusionment threshold .

Alan Pate
Guest
Alan Pate

You have obviously never been to the Backyard Bistro.

Wolfpack00
Guest
Wolfpack00

My blimp is bigger than your blimp!

TheCowdog
Guest
TheCowdog

You asked, I shall answer. IF we were endangered by hurricane, tornado,or floods of biblical proportion, we donned our Chuck Taylors and commandeered Carmichael Gymnasium under Lou.

Cold, wet practices were my fave as they stood in stark contrast to 95° heat with 80% humidity. Yeah, now that’s where an IPF might come in handy, come to think of it…AC provided of course.

Oh…most folks that lost parking slots are actually, at least, semi-po’d.

NCSU68Grad
Guest
NCSU68Grad

BL, I gotta hand it to you…..when I think you have run out of column fodder…..you pull the proverbial rabbit out of the Mad Hatter’s chapeau. I THINK that I wrote this here after our trip last summer to Canada and New England. We spent a week at an RV campground just a few miles south of the Gillette Complex (Brady’s DeFlateGate HQ). We were in the LAST open practice session where there were at least 25K fans and the fire marshal shut the gate and was more despised than (fill in the blank). It was an unGodly affair and… Read more »

CherieR
Guest
CherieR

BobLee, I have to know…. are the Wuff Lunatics in your cup-de-sac yet with the catapults and molotov cocktails yet? By the way, you had me at …..”A” screw loose?

GoPack
Guest
GoPack

Nice players are like nice cars; garaging keeps them in better shape 🙂

fayettewuf
Guest
fayettewuf

How big would you expect the bedroom of a sleeping giant to be?;-)

fayettewuf
Guest
fayettewuf

I am not a spokesman for NCSU but doubtless some of Pack fans deep down inside are pretty sure that we are a sleeping giant. I was kidding, have read your piece on Illinois.

Bet the 32 days of practice lost was part of power point presentation while the project was in the begging and pleading for funds stage.

Doug
Guest
Doug

And with “How big would you expect the bedroom of a sleeping giant to be?” Fayettewuf is the leader in the clubhouse. There’s still time to overtake him/her but though the odds are slim there must be someone that can challenge. This one could break all time BLS records. One of the gooder ones.

Lobo
Guest
Lobo

A pal of mine said he heard in Coach’s show last night that we lost 32 days of practice last year due to weather. At least now we are on Par w others.

(((And we still wupped the CHeats.)))

Alan Pate
Guest
Alan Pate

Just trying to be the best in NC (and eventually the ACC, and eventually the Nation) WITHOUT CHEATING. By the way, have you toured the NC State Golf facilities yet? How about Centennial Campus? And THE HUNT LIBRARY ! (Something conservatives and chea-holes could never imagine).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?

v=p4KgjYuJpnc&hq_e=el&hq_m=952153&hq_l=9&hq_v=041bd9dea3

https://vimeo.com/99175205

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Whry7DNzgtQ&list=PLD55CB2CA2013ACF8&index=32

Old MacDonald
Guest
Old MacDonald

First, I agree with your message and tone on the topic. Supposedly the “IPF” situation was discussed when DD was being wooed/hired. That’s how important those things are perceived to be — he had to be assured that we would be getting a nice one before he would commit to coming here. Having an “IPF” is not even optional if you want to recruit on a level playing field, and State is always recruiting uphill anyway, so we can’t afford not to have one. (Is the thinking). It is hardly the biggest or nicest — scroll through some of the… Read more »

SeaIsland Gambler
Guest
SeaIsland Gambler

Is that De-emphasis II peeking through yon shrubs? I never thought I’d say this, but maybe it’s time!

Charlotte Wuffie
Guest
Charlotte Wuffie

BobLee, the new practice facility was desperately required! The aromas from TGU wafting from Orange County made outdoor practice unbearable.
Ya gotta be able to focus!

frank linstreet
Guest
frank linstreet

You just know Chuck The Chest is saying “If I’d had me one of them, TA’s knee woulda never touched the ground…. Hell, I mighta even beat Akron.”

rivlax
Guest
rivlax

Dang, the Wuffies got one before the Georgia Bulldogs, even.