Baseball, Hot Dogs, Apple Pie & ….

May01/ 2015

“Baseball, Hot Dogs, Apple Pie and Chevrolet….”  aired in 1972.   In 2015, this idealized view of America is beyond naively ridiculous.

Baltimore Burns and the Top Sports Role Models this week are Jameis Winston and Floyd Mayweather??? While a gangly kid from Kinston finally answers BOT Barbara’s infamous question.

I am often asked – what’s the purpose of this website?  My canned flippant response is “to save western civilization”, which WAS its intention during the first month or so of its existence back in 1998. 1,800+ commentaries ago.  That noble purpose was quickly reduced to the more manageable “Entertain its audience for 8-10 minutes”.

That has remained our Mission Statement….. along with, of course – “piss off board monkeys at every opportunity”.

Sometimes it is a difficult objective.   My buddy AgentPierce has an overflowing plate of column fodder.   His dilemma is which above-the-fold absurdity to illuminate.  His current column quickly went en fuego…. most of his do lately.

Alas, as the handbasket of western civilization plummets to eternal hell, whats left “in the news” is not all that entertaining unless one has Caligua’s tastes for human misery.  You don’t need to visit here to get bummed out about the future of our society.

I simply haven’t been in the mood for entertaining commentarying.   For the same reason Pierce is busier than a one-armed paperhanger.  But I owe youans something to get your minds off your own plate of problems for the next 8-10 minutes.

♦ ♦ ♦FloydMaywe

The Wealthiest Athlete In The World – Floyd Mayweather is poised to gross $100,000,000 for fighting Manny Pacquiao.   Whether Floyd wins or loses he will also be the wealthiest convicted serial baby mamma-beater in America.   The Nevada Boxing Commission does not view “domestic violence” with the same degree of concern as The NFL.  Neither boxer will be wearing pink as the Nevada Boxing Commission has no interest in promoting breast cancer awareness.

There has been “some” mainstream media’s concern re: Floyd Mayweather felonious predilection, but with no effect whatsoever on the public zeal for The Fight.   Insert the phrase Mass Societal Hypocrisy in here somewhere.

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Alabama-felonsNick Saban set yet another SEC record this week.   Alabama Football has now had FOUR players arrested in the past three months for assorted criminal activity…. mostly beating up their girlfriends.   That whizbang NFL ad campaign about “domestic violence” doesn’t seem to be too effective in Tuscaloosa.   Georgia’s Mark Richt and LSU’s Les Miles held the previous player arrest records.  I could not find Gene Chizik’s player arrest records.

Any player recruited by Alabama, Georgia or LSU was a “blue-chipper” with dozens of other academic institutions vying eagerly for these “student-athletes” to attend their school (and beat up their coeds).   Four players arrested within three months is now the benchmark for “we want to be a CFP juggernaut”.   The reading levels of the four Alabama felons was not released but “semi-literate” is a darn good guess.

The SEC requires a minimum of at least one felony arrest every quarter for each of its member institutions.   That Vanderbilt gang-rape case is still in court.

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The NFL Draft was held last night.   Notorious serial Bad Boy Jameis Winston was, of course, the star of the show.   This morning I read the list of first round selections.   I recognized FOUR of the 30+ names.   Yet another benchmark of my dwindling interest in Big Time College Football.   Other than Frank Caliendo’s impressions of Mel Kiper Jr and Todd McShay….. “Todd…. Todd…. Todd”…. I have absolutely no interest in the process.

I did see where Roger Goodell mispronounced Marcus Mariota’s name.  THAT is funny.

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I HAVE been following one of the NBA Playoff series – Clippers versus Spurs.   The Spurs and The St Louis Cardinals being the only pro teams I care whether they win or lose.   Put a gun to my head, I still cannot name a single Grizzly, Buck, Trailblazer, or Net.

If the Spurs get bounced, I might follow Steph Curry and his Warriors.  Steve Kerr’s team seems like decent guys.

“Eddie Munster” Donovan left Florida (and having to play Kentucky twice a year) for Oklahoma City.   He was HBC at Florida for 19 years!   I would have guessed maybe 12.   Donovan replaces one of those 5-6 NBA head coaches that all look like “actuaries named Fred”.

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Down at “The U”, outgoing Miami Prez Donna Shalala reaffirmed that incredible observation I noted three years ago – the days of “expanding stadiums” is gone.  A victim of far more convenient spectatoring.

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The highlight of this past week had to be Monday’s Gianormous Media Spectacular down in Kinston.   To his everlasting credit, Brandon Ingram (1) wore a coat and bowtie and (2) had both his parents on stage with him.   I give him points for such things.  Ingram, of course, chose Duke and Coach K’s One & Done ‘R Us in West Derm.

NOTE:  This was the first news story from Kinston in the past ten years that did not contain the words “meth lab” or “Chef Vivian Howard”.BarbRoss-Hy-(1)

In explaining his momentous decision, young Mr Ingram finally answered THAT QUESTION posed four long years ago by UNC Trustee Barbara Rosser-Hyde…..

“Coach, is all this hurting recruiting?”

Ol’ Roy Two Rings, now reduced to recruiting home-schooled white boys, begrudgingly admitted:

“All this “junk” IS INDEED….. hurting recruiting”.

Meanwhile the ABC mob’s siege of Chapel Hill enters its 5th year with no sign of abating…… as The NCAA ponders.  For a historical comparison, the Greeks seige of Troy lasted ten years…. with the Greeks finally winning.  Maybe the ABC mob should build a giant wooden ram?


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