Republican Cannibals Yum Yum Eat’em Up!

March26/ 2015

“Republicans” are an all-you-can rant cornucopia of most horrible qualities. Ask any goggle-eyed, spittle- spewing liberal loonie…. or read The N&O.

On any given day the average Repub commits more atrocities against humanity than a 747-load of Auschwitz guards…. just ask WRAL’s Jim Goodmon.

Those unbiased sources notwithstanding…. Repubs truly are rough on one segment of society – their fellow Republicans. How come that is?

First we must clear up exactly WHO we are talking about here. Republicans – Conservatives – NeoCons – Tea Partiers – Neo-Liber-TeaBaggers – Right-wing nuts – Dittoheads – KochKlan – PaulPeople – et al. I’m not even sure what I am anymore so how can I categorize you. I call myself a “I Really Don’t Like Liberals” guy.

Does anyone say “NeoCons” any more. I used to have on-line dirt clod fights with an N&O character called BELO. “GoodNeighbor BELO” was the last one of them I know of who used “NeoCons” as a pejorative term. Bless his dark little heart, he truly believed we were all in “da Klan” and carried lynchin’ ropes in our pick-up trucks. I kinda miss that wacky ol’ coot. Just kidding.

For today’s purpose I’m going to use Con/Reps for “Conservative Republicans”. Expand it to include whatever you are if you Really Really Don’t Like Liberals.

I can’t recall a 3-4 day period when Con/Rep Cannibalism was at more of a fever-pitch on both the state and national levels. The distinction between true cannibals and a zombie horde is semantics. Cannibals traditionally boil their prey in a big pot prior to consuming them. Zombies don’t bother with such “culinary prep”. They prefer their meat very very rare. YIKES.

Locally along North Carolina’s legendary “Jones Street” where “the honorables” gather to do what honorables do, it’s been open season lately on The Iron-fisted Ruling Majority. There are several “here’s whys”.

First, who cares what the bedraggled remnants of The Party of Bully Barber & Gene Nichol does or thinks about anything? I mean, really. Think Napoleon’s Army retreating from Russia…..

The Minority Caucus (a/k/a The LibDems) of the NCGA consists of nine large ladies in church hats, five Ichabods with cheap haircuts…. and Grier Martin. Arm’em with a megaphone and nerf bats. They meet in a broom closet in the basement on Tuesday and contemplate one another navels.

BullyBarber’s “at least 80,000” did nothing but leave a lot of trash for some one else to clean up. Liberals in general tend to do that literally and figuratively.

The only POVs that matter belong to Con/Reps. Eeeeeevil and otherwise. Actually there IS a sizable contingent of reasonably level-headed “Mr & Mrs Smiths” who came to Jones Street to do lots of good things….. and, more importantly STOP lots of bad things from happening. I really appreciate the ones with the “STOP bad things” attitude.

Wanna clean up “guvmint”? Make ONE Rule…. “In order to enact a new bill / law, you must first dissolve, do away with “at least two existing laws”. Within two years we would be operating under The Ten Commandments and both “The District” and Jones Street would be half their size and shrinking by the minute.

Whats with “pols” who think putting their names to more extraneous “bills” is like hitting Home Runs or throwing TD passes. They think their “effectiveness” is measured by how many ticky-tacky NEW BILLS they can further burden us all with. These are the political equivalent of Hoarders. They delight in generating more and more legislative garbage….. they are like a herd of hippopotamuses with diarrhea.

What the hell was my original point here? Oh, yeah, why Con/Repub are cannibals.

If you read Carolina PlottHound several times every day (and you should if you don’t already) you may have noticed some sharp-pointed arrows fired at some prominent GOPers lately. Moi fired a few myself last week – Raucous Caucus.

My pal Daily Haymaker has become Crazy Horse at The Little Big Horn with the ruling gentry of the Majority Caucus playing Custer’s 7th Calvary. We know how that turned out. Give’em Hell DH!

Should we as incredibly clever cyber pundits NOT hold our own guys & gals to their campaign rhetoric?

Should we simply understand and accept the realities of political flim flammery?

Should we sit idly by as these “honorables” behave quite dishonorably?

Should we just shrug when Repubs act like ……. OMG….. act like Lib/Dems!

Move over Patrick Henry….. “I know not what course others may take, but give me…..” good men(women) and true who do what they said they would do….. or I will go lookin’ for ones who will.

“Politics” is a rock’em sock’em no-hold-barred bare-knuckle street brawl. It ain’t no place for the squishy and the tremble-chinned. Ya wanna “be liked” ….. open up an ice cream store and give away free samples.

Repub pols have to decide Day One when they take office if “being liked by the media” is a priority for them. If it IS then simply change your (R) to a (D) and “they” WILL “like you”. Simple as that.

Court the favor of “the mainstream media” and you can bet your bottom dollar that AgentPierce and Daily Haymaker and Lady Liberty and SistaToljah and dozens of other “wingnuts w/ websites” in every Middlesex village and town are gonna call you out.

Ain’t Freedom of Speech Grand.

I tend to concentrate on State politics, but I hear tell Ted Cruz made some sort of announcement this week. I’m a Scott Walker kinda-guy but Ted’s OK with me. He sure beats the hell outta that Kenyan Commie Black Panther Muslim Narcissist at 1600 Penn now.

Almost before Ted Cruz finished saying “I’m running” his fellow Repubs were screaming so loud they almost drowned out the screeching Lib/Dems.

The primary trail will be very very bumpy with potholes and IEDs at every turn for Cruz, Walker, Paul, Rubio and whoever else is driven to take a shot at the brass ring.

The ones with the toughest skin will survive. The others will be “boiled in a pot” and consumed with fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Yum yum eat’em up!

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