Raucous Caucus – Crazy Days on Jones Street!

March21/ 2015

A crazeee coupla days that only a Jim Goodmon dumpster-diver could enjoy. The North Carolina General Assembly – specifically The House Majority Caucus – went “off-the-chart” Crackers. It involved North Carolina’s version of The TriLateral Commission – That Eeeevil UNC Board Of Governors.

Those Repub wizards of smarts elected by mandate to keep Ye Olde North State from falling off the edge of Earth into the eternal fires of a Liberal Hell have come up with a Whizbang Idea. Pay close attention now:

If the iron-fisted majority in both houses AND “the mansion” are really nice to the liberals….. AND to the journo-weasels in “the media” THEN, maybe just maybe said liberals and media weasels will suddenly “like” the eeeevil iron-fisted majority. ….. Suuuure they will, Tim.  Are you really that naive Tim?

The media will roll over, coo and purr about how nice the eeevil iron-fisted majority has become. The dead-eyed BullyBarber Hoot & Haters will sing hymns of praise about the new-gentler eeevil iron-fisted majority. RIGHT!

Great Plan…. huh? Any student of history especially American history over the past 100+ years, knows that “reach out – be nice” strategy has succeeded a total of ZERO times. Unless one’s definition of “success” is (1) being further denigrated by the media-weasels and (2) hated even more by BullyBarber and his ilk and (3) despised by the academic twerps and goobers in their ivy-covered asylums.

Hey, maybe THIS TIME will be different. Isn’t there some definition of “idiocy” that says “keeps making the same mistake over and over and over and expecting a different result.”

THEY HATE YOU/US! That hatred is deeply imbedded in their very twisted DNA. Give them primo offices. Give them preferred parking. Give them committee co-chairs. Make up silly b***s*** titles to make them feel “important”. Pretend to listen when they babble and squawk. Guess What?

They will laugh in your face….. spit in your eye….. and pick your pocket….. THEN ask for more. BullyBarber giving you a wedgie? Think about that.

And those slithering vermin in the media. SUUUURE, agree to a nice interview with RobRielle Who or one of Goodmon’s WRAL dumpster divers and then be SHOCKED when they cut & paste everything you said to make you a racist – homophobic – polluting – eeevil money-grubbin’ capitalist pig with stinky feet and hair in your ears. Yeah, be SHOCKED when that happens. McClatchy’s (failing) Newspapers and Jim “Mr Limo Liberal” Goodmon and whatever cartel owns the Gsbo N&R today DESPISE YOU…. and they despise all of us who got you elected.

Those pathetic left-wing “pundits”. Are you really afraid of Fitzy and his whinies? PUHleeze. A buncha weak-chin losers with bad orthodonture and cheap haircuts.

Whats next??? Hey, lets bring back Richard Morgan and Stephen LaRoque. NOT!

Last week the House Majority Caucus called a moratorium on common sense. They turned a simple 10-minute “All in favor say Aye” procedure into Mayhem on a Soda Cracker. Imagine what they might do with “a one-car funeral”?

DAMN Nelson, what ails you boy? Are you taking leadership lessons from Carol Folt ?? Keep that foolishness up and you’ll be devalued to Nelson Nickle. Tillis fumbled the ball a few times but DAMN; you hiked the ball over your own head then ran around in a circle and fell down with the entire caucus watching you do it.

Were you thinking your own Repubs were as dumb as the Democs? Sure, some of them are. Tim Moore will be avoiding photo ops with you for the rest of the session. Even the pages in the chamber were laughing.

The Eeeevil Board of Governors FINALLY grew a pair and “did something” with that freak show over in Chapel Hill. Sure Fennebresque used a sledgehammer when a straight razor woulda been much better, but he DID SOMETHING (“not political” wink wink wink). You got a few 100s profane e-mails from Nichols Nuts on Franklin Street and you got scared that “the whole state is about to riot”. …… just a handful of Nichol Nuts on Franklin Street, that’s all it was. Hellfire, I’ll get twice that many just for posting this column.

Governing a state is a beeeyotch. Man Up!

A few dingleberries in the caucus got all jervous and nerky and tried the ol’ Diversity Shuffle with the BOG nominations. Whats the matter….. couldn’t you find a bi-sexual Muslim midget to nominate? The Chapel Hill crowd would love one of those. Maybe one would even say thank you.

Learn from this prattfall. Take a few days off and go for a long walk in the woods. Climb a tree. Contemplate your navel. Then get your butt back down to Jones Street and use the good sense your mamma gave you.

Stop playing stoopid political sandbox games and RUN THE DAMN STATE.

And you can warn Gov PatMc I can write one of these to him too. I almost have more than a few times. He better man-up too or plan on being back in Mecklenburg in two years bartending at The Ritz Carlton for the CIAA.

More people will read this than Gene Nichol has Nuts on Franklin Street.


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