“World’s Largest” PR Scam Since Global Warming

November19/ 2014

I’m a pretty good judge of the Plum Foolishness Factor of UNC’s Glorious Mess.   I really thought last week’s Trifecta of Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest would carry us all through Thanksgiving….. but Noooooo.   Last week was a triple humdinger with TydrekeSpeaks, Two Eagle Scouts Speak, and “NOT At DARTMOUTH”.   Each of those Lulus could Headline a week all by itself.

Now America is spewing coffee out its nose over Edelman aka “The World’s Largest…..” gorging itself on Little Carol’s Inexhaustible Pile of not exactly tax payer mega-$$$$.  – LINK!

Little Carol and Vice Chancy Joel can pay Edelman A BILLION “not exactly tax payer” $$$ and Edelman will never control “me” and all the 1,000s of “like me’s” out here on the Internet.

BTW… it’s just Edelman.  Not Edelman Group or Edelman Assoc or Edelman & Sons or Edelman PR ‘R Us…. just Edelman.  Like “Cher” or “Pele” or “Sting”.   Any operation that touts itself as “the world’s largest” of anything, just MIGHT have an inflated opinion of the worth of it’s services.   Ya reckon?

On Tuesday night “That Damn” Dan Kane placed yet another shoebox of dog poop outside Little Carol’s office, set it on fire, rang the doorbell and ran off.   Now we can look forward to the Diminutive Dartmouth Diva trying to stomp this out with her size 2 Jimmy Chous.

A longtime buddy who is a University admin on the West Coast asked me last week “What is your Chancellor doing?”   I think “She’s curled up in a fetal position under her desk.” I proffered.   I got an email from a South Bldg source the next day wanting to know “Who told you?”   This is sooooo out-of-control.

By the time I post this late Wednesday, you, me, at least 3.2 billion Chinese, and Jan Boxhill’s cable guy will all know about UNC paying just Edelman aka “the world’s largest” PR guys “at least $1.5 Million” SO FAR to generate all the positive spin you’re seeing about UNC…… I do understand that damage control and crisis management ain’t cheap.  But, adjusted for inflation, America did not spend this much rebuilding Japan after we leveled Hiroshima and Nagasaki.  Granted, most Japanese could read above the 4th grade level.

Soooo many ways to “spin” this absurdity about millions of spin dollars.  Where to start???

I admit I did visit The N&O’s website to read “That Damn” Dan’s Edelman report.  There were five reader comments.  The best (?) of the five was from “Larry” who says those Edelman $$$$ are “nothing compared to what Duke pays Coach K to cheat in every game and to cuss out referees”.  Yee Haaa for “Larry”.   I bet if I go back now there are a dozen comments even dumber than “Larry’s”.

I had lunch with a retired UNC prof / BobLeeBuddy recently.   He knows that reading fan message boards has the same nutritional value as porn sites featuring fat, ugly women w/ harelips, but he does it anyway.   He has decided that while both InsCarolina and PPride are very scary places inhabited by very scary people, he believes InsCarolina rank&file are noticeably much scarier than PPride.   This from a tenured UNC Professor.  I’m not sure which board monkey community will take pride in his assessment.  FWIW; I still thinks it a “toss-up”, but he’s tenured and I’m not.

Back to the just Edelman Silliness.  Vice Chancellor Joel Curran was hired at $400,000+ about a year ago to manage Spin & Obfuscation for UNCCH.   Now Joel needs “at least” fourteen Edelman Elves to help him.   Help you DO WHAT, Joel?  You can tell me, Joel.  I won’t tell anyone.

Before Joel, UNC’s Spin & Obfuscation was handled for years by two J-School interns and some gal named Muriel.   Now its Joel at $400K plus “at least” fourteen Edelman Elves throwing handfuls of “Benjamins” down unspecified media rat holes.   They are blowing money faster than an NBA Lottery Pick.

Imagine the National Laughingstock UNCCH might be if “the world’s largest” was NOT managing its image ?!!?   Am I the only one wondering if Roger Goodell recommended just Edelman to Joel Curran?

How many times are we are all going to say “You really could not make up stuff this ridiculous”?

What Wizards of Smarts are approving all this?   I’m not blaming this on those silverspoon goofies on the BOT.   They only know what Little Carol and Provost Dean Provost choose to tell them.   The UNC BOT stopped asking questions two years ago after mistakenly asking Jim Martin “Governor, did you ever talk to Coach Williams?”  Who can blame’em?   Really!

Surely everybody, and their dog Spot, laughs at “but it’s NOT taxpayers money” tagline.   Even cannibals in New Guinea saw thru that months ago.   It IS monies donated in good faith for tangible improvements within the institution.   NOT intended to be for making new messes while clumsily trying to clean up old messes.

Don’t be confused.  This NEW $2,000,000 to Joel Curran’s old NYC PR cronies at Edelman has nothing to do with the still unreported but being estimated at “at least” another $2,000,000 to Kenny Wainstein and his bunch.

$2,000,000 here….. $2,000,000 there.   Pretty soon UNC’ll have spent more trying to spin The Great Unpleasantness than Kim Kardashian spends on shoes and handbags.  WHOA!

If you think this is the end of “drunken sailor spending” by The Flagship, then you probably thought it was all over after the parking ticket cover-up too.

This just Edelman Foolishness is foolish because it’s 2014.  There’s a New World Media Order.   Edelman and Joel Curran can’t “manage” me or the 1000s of other “like me’s” who comment on this mess on social media and the Internet.   If they ever tried it would make it even worse.  Which means, of course, they probably WIll try.

If Joel and his Edelman Elves want to buy me an Angus Barn steak and ply me with Dom P, they’re welcome to try however.


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