Fat Cats Rearranging Deck Chairs

November16/ 2014

“BobLee’s 60-Second Sound-Off” is a new segment on this season’s Good Sports’ pre-game show.  I offer up an incredibly insightful “can he say THAT on the radio?” rant about something hopefully related somehow to UNC Football.

A trick in effective “provocative radio” is not to warn ones on-air partners (or station “suits”) what one is about to say.   This results in their fresh on-air response plus allows “the suits” to have plausible deniability when offended listeners storm the station with pitchforks and torches.

Yesterday BobLee unloaded on UNC “Fat Cats” who amidst The Great Unpleasantness are occupying themselves by Rearranging the deck chairs on The Titanic.   It has been suggested that I share my aired comments with you my valued cyber-audience.

BEFORE I DO THAT:….. Congrats to WuffDave and his Lupine loyalists for “punching their ticket to Shreveport, or thereabouts” with W #6.  A special kudo to whomever in the Ev Case Center arranges The Wuffs out-of-conference opponents.   Like John Calipari says “I don’t make the rules, I simply adapt them to our advantage. ….. Now the stage is almost set for a “Shreveport Showdown” on Nov 29 amid the lofty pines.   IF the Fighting Fedorians can make history by “Larry Finally Beats DevilDavid” this Thursday at The Wally, then both UNC & NCSU loyalists can gather on Nov 29 with all parties boasting of being among the 78 college football teams in America going “bowling”.

Seen At The Choo Choo Lounge….. Yesterday’s Homecoming “amid the lofty pines” saw a record crowd of Former UNC Football Lettermen queuing up for Hotdogs at Halftime at The Choo Choo Lounge.   Bill Barber’s “logistics expert” might have set the number at “at least 80,000” but I’m settling for “about 200” of the fellas and their guests crammed into the cozy confines.  ….. Such notables as Sugar Bowl Grand Poobah Paul Hoolahan, #23 From Garden City, and a roguish Internet Legend drew some “isn’t that ______” queries, but that aged trio took a backseat to For-Real Celebrities – Yes, The Fabulous Comparato Twins were up from Coral Gables for The Weekend. …. like “two sugar cubes” The Fabs drew admiring flies INCLUDING a recent controversial podcaster / former Tar Heel QB – Bryn Renner.   Neither Matt Merletti nor Tydreke Powell were IDed but it was a very crowded room.

♦ ♦ ♦

BobLee’s 60-Second Shout-Out…. WCHL’s Good Sports 11/15/14:
I’m going to assume that everyone listening to us this morning is aware that the University of North Carolina is operating under a cloud of considerable duress.

The most distressing duress that has ever enveloped this university, its athletics department, the community of Chapel Hill, and the hearts and minds of almost every alumnus and fan of Carolina.

I say ALMOST.   Apparently one particular group of alumni/fans – those so-called “Fat Cats” have decided to concern itself with what might best DeckTita2be called – Rearranging the deck chairs on The Titanic.   

That phrase refers to a reality-avoidance technique whereby one concerns oneself with a totally insignificant issue in the midst of a REALLY REALLY BFD CRISIS.  Nero’s “fiddling while Rome burns” is similar.

I recently received a copy of an Email sent a week or so ago to UNC Athletics Director Bubba Cunningham.  The FROM/CC of said Email contained the names of dozens of prominent so-called Fat Cats – gentlemen of considerable influence and prominence within the Carolina / Chapel Hill community.   Gentlemen who will be watching today’s game from the plush environs of Upper Level Blue Zone suites and “Pope Boxes”.

I was NOT included in the e-distribution itself.   My copy was courtesy of someone who was.  If I read off their names you would recognize names of some current and former UNC Trustees, UNC Board of Governors and long time influential members of the Rams Club.  Yes, of course, a member of the Notorious BOT3 was included.

These deep-pocketed Tar Heel partisans – titans of industry and commerce one and all – felt compelled to formally notify Bubba The Real AD that they are quite concerned about one particular issue.

The Issue That Warranted Their Concern is NOT The Crowder Nyang’oro Scheme nor any of the related issues brought to light by The Martin Report, The Wainstein Report, or any issue ever mentioned in any article ever written by Dan Kane.  Nope.   None of those silly trivialities are first and foremost in the minds of these UNC Fats Cats. Noooo…..

They, rather, are concerned about the non-traditional color combinations of Tar Heel Football UNIFORMS.    Let me use my best Allan Iverson “Practice” voice.  These Aged Frat Boys In Eternal Pursuit of Braggin’ Rights are worried about UNIFORMS ….. UNIFORMS.

Amid this Historic Tumult in which this University community is dog-paddling to stay afloat, these privileged powerbrokers are insisting that Bubba Cunningham and Larry Fedora reorder their current priorities.   Bubba and Larry are, they contend, “inflicting irreparable damage to the brand of Tar Heel Football” by tinkering with Kenan fashion tradition.

Try reading that last sentence without giggling…. or saying “Oh My!”

I readily acknowledge that the long-term fiscal generosity of these gentlemen to their alma mater DOES grant them the right to express their opinion.   Regardless of how ill-timely ridiculous that expression may be.

If Marvin Austin had never tweeted four years ago.   If all the subsequent dominos had not collapsed to where This Vain Glorious Proud University is now a National Punchline and likely facing significant punitive actions for its assorted sins of omission and commissions.    The color of our Football uniforms MIGHT indeed be an interesting tailgate discussion.

Under ideal circumstances it WOULD be a fascinatingly lively discussion while holding a Bloody Mary in one hand and a country ham biscuit in the other.  I am the quintessential old-school traditionalist who much prefers Carolina Blue as our primary uniform color.

“Uniforms” would be a key chapter in the book I oughta write:  The Spectators VS The Gladiators: The Real Game In Big Time College Athletics.

But Marvin Austin DID tweet and and and here we are today November 2014 – Here & Now.

NOW is NOT the time to be hot & bothered about freakin’ UNIFORMS.  But wait a minute.

Maybe Such Misdirected Priorities is how we got into this Gloriously Unpleasant Mess to begin with.   Ya think?

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