But other than THAT, Mrs Kenan….

September21/ 2014

But other than THAT, Mrs Kenan; how was your trip to Greenville? ….. As compared to (1) Honest Abe’s evening at Ford’s Theater and/or (2) George Custer’s picnic on The Little Big Horn ??

Viewed in the context of a Post Marvin’s Tweet historical perspective…. Tru Blues  would not have been surprised to see Shane Carden revealed as Dan Kane’s even-more-evil twin.   I swaney…. one of those blitzing ECU LBs was a dead-ringer for Fats Thomas.   It was that sort of afternoon as The Fighting Fedorians cooperated in helping their horrified fans almost forget LAST YEAR’s butt whuppin by the purple-clad Ruff-ians.

Can you recall an impacted wisdom tooth from a year ago while trying to pass a kidney stone the size of a grapefruit?  I mean really!

NOTE:  There is a 200% chance this column will be posted on TheBoneyard.  Let me effusively and sincerely congratulate all the fully functioning adults of PirateNation and all your cute coeds in cowboy boots AND Henry Hinton for an awesome display of football domination.

A former member of the NC General Assembly was notorious for punctuating her incessant diatribes on the House floor with “It is a dark dark day for North Carolina….. “.  She would then proceed to excoriate all of humanity that did not share her far left-wing limo-liberal ideology.  Her signature lament might be borrowed by more than a few Tru Blues about Saturday past in Pitt County?

FWIW…. my spies in board monkey world reported that prior to, during, and after The Dowdy-Ficklin Debacle, the Franklin Street bottom-feeders remained true to their moronic heritage.   The usual trite and incredibly crass comments abounded about the academic shortcomings of ECU students in general and ECU student-athletes in particular…. as compared to The Flagship.  HUH????

My question is: Are these inanely stoopid comments coming from the same faux-elite morons that have muttered them for 40 years…. or is there a whole new generation of these faux-elite morons?  Lets leave these dim-wits to marinate in their asine arrogance and take a look at The State of Football From Murphy To Manteo.

The part of the day to which I contributed went splendidly.   “The Good Sports” pre-game show was epic.   My co-host B’rer Chansky was “in country” on the very shores of the afore-mentioned Little Big Horn for The Fedorians.

Our usual sophomoric banter, while in no words Jameis-ian in tone or content, was “rollicking”.   My clever bit about “the history of cute coeds in cowboy boots” was especially awesome.   Blondie thinks “HOLY COW” should become my signature phrase…. with due respect to Harry Caray or Red Barber or Red Buttons or whoever.

Art and I both warned of the strong likelihood of “a dark dark day”.    Not exactly two Nostradamus’ climbing out on a limb.

Coach Ruff’s clever strategy for “not punting to Ryan Switzer” was simply to avoid punting altogether by scoring touchdowns on virtually every possession.   His strategy was not perfect.  ECU did punt twice…. among the dozen or so touchdowns.

The Tar Heels clearly won the all-important “TDs scored on trick-a-rooski plays” by a decisive 2 to 0 margin.   That is a totally meaningless stat that only Woody Durham could love.

Am I the only one who noticed a most obvious purple (and orange) sky over the stadium at games-end?   Putting to rest the only evidence UNC fans have ever clung to that “God is a Tar Heel because….”

As the ecstatic Ruff-ians move on towards a possible “for-real” bowl game; the vanguished Kenanites limped back to Chapel Hill in the fashion of Napoleon’s (and Hitler’s) army retreating from Russia.   Ruff & Riley’s Air-Raid was every bit as effective as “a Russian winter” in repelling the white-helmetted invaders.

Many Kenanites will now be turning to Ol’ Roy for vicarious validation of their self-worth.   That may not be a safe harbour dependent upon the arrival of the next fleet of “ black SUVs with tinted windows” full of NCAA goons.

Meanwhile….. amid Kenan’s lofty pines:

Be assured that there remains a faction of BOTBob-types high atop The BlueZone who are still convinced “they” can simply throw Larry Fedora under the bus and go buy themselves the 2014-version of “a Butch Davis” to lead them to the Promised Land.   There is ALWAYS “this year’s model” of some “next big thing” they scheme they can buy to awaken the sleeping giant.

Thankfully, this time around, the Blue Zone Bunch do not have “clueless Dickie” to use as a cardboard front man PLUS the institutional fall-out from Marvin’s Tweet (plus Nyang’oro et al) has an active shelf-life of another 8-10-12 years minimum.

The two premier FB programs in NC are now Duke and ECU…. at opposite ends of the mythical academic spectrum.  The snarky insults that OldWellers employ to insult both Duke & ECU’s on-field achievements have to be manipulated in such a wacky way as to redefine ludicrousness.

For UNC and NCSU to both avoid scheduling ECU in the forseeable future in favor of Libertys and Presbyterians will not fool anyone but themselves.   That Frau Yow can also avoid Duke lacks competitive courage.   Ric Flair said it best – “To Be The Man…. You Gotta Beat The Man!”

Neither Coach Ruff nor Coach Cutcliffe are going anywhere any time soon if ever.  Both have their successful systems firmly rooted.  Both coaches are “good guys” – very astute FB coaches – and are not “doing it with mirrors” OR “with 5-star Marvins”.

Larry Fedora’s painfully obvious “talent on-the-hoof” issues are not totally of his own making but in Year Three he must assume ownership.

The short-term fortunes of arch-rival NC State are TBD.   Their extended pre-season scrimmages now done, they jump into the “deep end” against the terminally repentant Circus de’Jameis.   With an entire week before Jameis Comes To The Carter, the likelihood of The Heisman Clown stoopifying YET AGAIN is even-money.

Sadly, both UNC and NCSU Head Coaches are on-record as pining their recruiting efforts on “having the right color helmets that appeal to 17 y/os”.   OUCH!  So much for Hugh Shelton, sweet acidopholus milk, Charles Kuralt and numbers of Rhodes Scholars.  ….. sigh.

Their equally delusionally unrequited fan bases will, alas, be content with traditional pissing contests with one another.  A silly contest totally irrelevant to the rest of the planet’s population.

Repeating Holden Thorpe’s classic query to me 7-8 years ago…. “BobLee, why does everyone care so much about what happens here (at UNCCH)?” …. and my incredibly insightful reply:   “Holden, beyond a 50-75 mile radius of Franklin Street…. they don’t (care so much).”


♦ ♦ ♦

My undergrad alma mater UNC was “Thelma” and my grad school alma mater Mizzou was “Louise”.  Together they “went over the cliff” within an hour of one-another.  I am, therefore, seeking vicarious self-worth validation via My St Louis Cardinals who, thankfully, march inexorably towards yet another MLB Playoffs.

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