A Week In “The Southern Part of Hell”

July14/ 2014

If this planet was still revolving around the sun as Galileo intended it to do, we would talk about LeBron going back to Cleveland.  IMO THE coolest thing ever in the NBA since Bob Cousey invented the no-look pass….. but in this post-Marvin Tweet Apocalypse World we can’t do that.   Nooooo…..

Last week had seven days that ended in “y” so you know there was more plum foolishness abubblin’ up outta “The Southern Part of Hell”…..

I really do think LeBron returning to Cleveland is tres cool.   If it was any city but woeful Cleveland, it wouldn’t be quite the same impact.   South Beach is “hot” but Cleveland’s Cuyahoga River actually caught fire once.   The prodigal son is coming home to where, obviously, his heart has always been.   Nice.  I betcha not one person in Cleveland knows Richard Vinroot.

As a city full of LeBron-haters convert back to LeBron-lovers…..  it’s the opposite emotional roller coaster along picturesque Franklin Street.   The fan community that once cheered lustily for Rashad & PJ is reconsidering its affection for these two wayward sons of Dean’s Dome.

How many times since Young Marv hit send have you said “ya jest can’t make this s*** up!”   I’m at fourteen times and counting, howsabout you?

Flippin’ a coin.  Rashad gets to go first…..  where did he get the figure $300,000,000 that the NCAA is sending him?  Why not $12,783,000?  Why not $68,129,973?  The $10,000,000 he says UNC has agreed to give him seems “logical” compared to the NCAA amount, if the word “logical” can appear in the same paragraph, or same universe, with The Buncombe County Bad Boy.

The question is NOT “is Rashad nutz?”.    He be crazier than an outhouse mouse.   I still think his brief fool-around with Khloe Kardashian fried what few brain cells the boy ever had.

The question is “can a blind hog or an outhouse mouse be right once or twice”?  Allowing that young McCants may well be clinically insane, how did he manage those four A’s in those AfAm courses?   Whether he and Two Ring Roy ever did discuss his matriculation or not, Rashad staying eligible at UNC-CH for six semesters is a miracle on the order of “how did Julius Peppers do it?”.

When you have a week at The Franklin Street Caldera and Rashad’s $300,000,000 Yeee Haa is NOT the #1 Yeee Haa Story of the week, ya know it’s been quite a week.

Young PJ’s “did whats” are like celebrities dying….. they always happen in threes…. or fours.   Have we all now learned that PJ never does a single “did what”?   He packs three or four “did whats” together.   That’s how he did it last summer…. and again this summer.

(1) He ‘trades rides” with a notable NFL bad boy at a Chapel Hill Fresh Market.   Why he didn’t do his “trading” at Trader Joe’s at Eastgate was the first obvious question for me.    Did you think about that too?

I may have the sequence wrong but then (2) he ambles over to the Derm Y and punches out some high school kid….. then (3) he hires an unregistered agent.   In whatever order that was the latest PJ Trifecta from last week.   He may not be done yet, but we’re in a new week.

Makes ya wonder what all PJ mighta done last week if Ol’ Roy hadna rehabilitated him so well last Fall….. huh?    Two Rings said something about PJ being among the finest young men he’d ever recruited?   That oughta scare some major bejebbers outta the Franklin Street Ostrich Society.  But it won’t.

And then….. a trio of “Dean’s Boys” from the 60-70s came forward to rally ‘round their beleaguered mentor.   Bless their hearts, I’m flabbergasted why; but hey column fodder is column fodder.

In Richard Vinroot’s case I guess he owed Dean one.   When Richard, a Republican, ran for Governor against Sleazy Easley ten years ago, Dean (definitely NOT a Republican) sorta kinda not-really endorsed him with something along the lines of:

Yes, Richard Vinroot did play on my team in the early 60s…. but I never knew he would turn out to be a Republican.  I promised I would say something nice about him.  This is the best I can do – Dean Smith.

Now Richard reciprocates paraphrasing that there were never any crazy black guys like Rashad on the teams he played on ….. or any black guys at all.  Richard played four years before Charlie Scott arrived.

Rev Dave Chadwick (who did play with Charlie who was not crazy, by the way) also chimed in as Two Old Guys From Charlotte Who Have Never Met Rashad or PJ or Touche or Julius.   Throw in Rev Chadwick’s teammate Bill Chamberlain and you had heart-warming testimonials from Three Old Guys Who REALLY Hope This Doesn’t Dirty Dean.   It surely warmed the hearts of the afore-mentioned ostrichs who are desperate for anything positive these days.

Those ostrichs weren’t so thrilled by Bernie Reeves’ Southern Part Of Hell piece in National Review last week.  If you haven’t read Bernie’s piece, ask any ABCer you know.  They have ALL read it and memorized most of the better lines.   Here’s The LINK.

When Bill Buckley started National Review, do you think he ever imagined some mouth-breathin’ short bus riders from the ABC basement going to his site?  Unconfirmed Rumor:  Amedeo’s is naming a meatball and anchovy sub – The Bernie.  That is a sure sign of “celebrity” status.

I’ve known BR for more than a few years.   He is an ITBer in Raleigh, a UNC alum from the mid 60s…. and a regular reader of both this site and AgentPierce’s.   Bernie is not, to my knowledge, affiliated with UNC-CH in any way other than as an alumnus.   He is not, and never has been, on the BOT or BOG.  I seriously doubt he’s even in the much-maligned Rams Club.

Bernie is a publishing mogul having started up several successful publications in the Triangle including Spectator, Triangle Business Journal and. most recently, Metro.   He is an old-school gentleman of many opinions with the wordsmithness to tranfer those opinions to print.

I absolutely LOVED the title playing on the famous Jake Wade line…. substituting Hell for Heaven.   Bernie has some incredibly colorful phraseology in his piece.  Overall it scores high on the LuLuu scale.

A real problem that both Bernie and I have when discoursing on this glorious mess is that both of us know there ARE a few “really good guys” on the periphery of this septic field.   Had those really level-headed guys been listened to along the way this could have been dealt with properly a long time ago.  But they weren’t listened to and here we are.  “Dealt with properly” does NOT mean swept under any rug.

Bernie’s piece focuses on a far deeper issue at UNC-CH than “dumb jocks and paper classes”.   Bernie and I and certainly Pierce are in full agreement on that concern….. but the NCAA won’t be digging that deep.

So much for Last Week…. in The Southern Part of Hell.   Now we have a brand new week…..

Dexter Strickland did WHAT ?????

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