RIMSHOTs….. This & That & Then some

June03/ 2014

When June 2 falls on a Monday, ya know its time to bring back RIMSHOTS!   Yes indeed…. that ever-popular cornucopia of bits & pieces from all corners of the topical globe…..

$2,000,000,000 !!!  Lets play “if you had $2,000,000,000 to throw away, what would you do with it?”  Figure new Clippers’ owner Steve Ballmer does not play on the same Monopoly board that the rest of us do.   The owners of all the pro sports franchises that actually are worth A LOT just saw their team’s value go up a cool billion thanks to Bill Gates’ old #2.  …… would $2,000,000,000 in quarters stacked on top of each other reach to Mars?

Is Donald Sterling crazy?   A month ago he had a skanky girlfriend and a sports team worth MAYBE $600,000,000.   Today the skanky gal is long gone and he made an extra $1,400,000,000 on selling his team.   We should all be so crazy.

Plantar Fasciitis hurts…… there’s a difference between “an injury” and “it hurts”.  Plantar Fasciitis is a “it hurts” ailment.   I seem to get “it” every 2-3 years.   This time it stopped my daily delight of trekking on the local Greenway.   THAT = A bummer!  I did all the home remedies PLUS I consulted a renown orthopedic surgeon.   Renown surgeon suggested I “spit on it with some Red Man while barking at a full moon”.  If that didn’t cure it, he gave me the e-address of a renown Navajo shaman who is “really good with feet”.

It finally abated and I’m back on trek.   Down from 5 miles/day to a gentlemanly 3 or so but at least I’m back on the trails.

Add an 8th Zebra …. Yippeee!! ….. Latest great idea from NCAA – add an 8th official to the crew.  HellsBells have 22 of’em – one to watch every player – just so long as Little Johnny Swofford has the final say-so, we should be just fine. ….. Hey, maybe add ten more commercial timeouts too.  Anything to make going-to-the-game a more tedious ordeal.

Missing my trekking…… I had forgotten why I really enjoy my daily walks w/ my audio books.   The local Greenways are quite popular with lots of seemingly normal folks.   (NOTE: I’m not talking about the American Tobacco Trail over in Derm.   That one has become a happy hunting ground for Derm Local 135 of the Bloods & Crips.)   The Greenway is the only escape I have from partisan combat either sports or politics.    Bill Barber isn’t “a Greenway Guy” and I never wear any team colors or my Rush Is Right tees.   Very few of my fellow Greenwayers display any partisan biases.   We just all smile at one another and wave.  Smile at one another and wave …… WOW, what a concept!

Paleo and Whole30….. Blondie and I are three weeks into the Paleo / Whole30 diet and loving it.   Paleo is the official diet of Cross-Fit.  We are not into that fitness cult but have friends who are.    Whole30 is a no grain, no sugar diet but lots of meat and veggies.   Easy (at least it is for us) to follow and “feel good” results come quickly.

If George Carlin were alive….. in George’s day there were only Seven words one can’t say.  Now, thanks to Mark Cuban we’ve added “hoodie” to the growing-by-the-hour list.  If you don’t think a LOT more will be added, you just aren’t paying attention.

ANOTHER Duke Guy at ESPN !!!…. The Bristol Boyz have added ANOTHER Duke BBer to their analyst team – Shane Battier joins Jayson Williams and Jay Bilas.  Hey, I thought ESPN was All UNC – All The Time ????

Speaking of reading….. some retell-it-all-again-and-again book on the Great Unpleasantness just hit the bookstores.   I was approached two years ago to write such a book.   I passed.   I’m going out on a limb and guess sales will be stronger in Raleigh and Derm than they will be along beautiful Franklin Street.    Reprint all of Dan Kane’s columns plus throw in the most outrageous of the ABC board monkeys hoots.   Wonder if Mary Willingham is Dean’s love-child made the book?

If there’s a pic of a ménage a trois with “Call me Dickie”, Tami, and John Blake I’m betting its already on the Internet.    I asked a hard-core ABCer recently what he will define as “Justice served” on this mess.    He was silent a few minutes then spewed thirteen different obscenities about how much he hates all things UNC.   The previous record was nine in one sentence.

One zinger….. naming an athletic study hall after “Call me Dickie” is like Transylvania naming its community blood bank after Dracula.

More reading…… I stumbled on a GREAT series of historical novels by Robert McCammon.   The five books are set in Early America in the first decade of the 18th  century (that’s 1700s) and feature an intrepid hero named Matthew Corbet.   Matthew is America’s first private detective (“problem solver”).  He is a combination James Bond, Indiana Jones, Harry Potter, Sherlock Holmes.   McCammon is an incredible wordsmith and the narrator is outstanding.   Great adventures in a time / setting you rarely encounter.  Google Robert McCammon and definitely read his Matthew Corbet series in chronological order.   You’ll be glad you did.

Beee-yootiful June days on The Greenway with a humdinger of a yarn in my ears while trekking and smiling and waving at seemingly normal folks.   Life Is Good!

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