Dan Kane Honored at UNC and…..

March03/ 2014

What does “surreal” mean?  I’m pretty sure I was smack-dab waist-deep in it last week.   Maybe it was Kafka-esque ??   Pigs were aflying down Franklin Street fer sure…. as your favorite Internet Legend was a VIP guest at the NC Press Association Annual Awards Banquet.

I (1) was hugged by the Editor of the Daily Tar Heel, and (2) swapped jokes with N&O Editor John Drescher….. but neither qualified as THE OMG Moment of the evening.

A few comments about (1) The Marcus & TJ Show… and (2) the “another sorta-independent investigator”….. and (3) the “another BusinessWeek article”…… and ANOTHER ARTICLE too.  Betcha missed this “other article”.

A hug from Fabulous Comparato Twin Nicole AND free pigs-in-a-blanket would be enough to make any evening memorable.   But last Thursday hit the TILT-o-meter in weird.

Blondie and I were serving as the security detail for a state legislator who was being honored by the NCPA.   We both, of course, have our concealed-carry permits but were not packing heat for this occasion as “poison pens” were about all we had to worry about from this bunch.

PBS luminary Charlie Rose was the primo celeb.  I gritted my teeth as he spent 15 minutes extolling his own humility.  I was OK until he praised his mentor Bill Moyers.  My gag reflex was only heard by those at our table.

I knew what was coming so it was no surprise….. The N&O most cussed and applauded investigative reporter – Dan Kane – was awarded a plaque for you-know-what.  

Over the five years since Marv hit Tweet, I have steadfastly defended Dan as simply “doing his job”…. and I still do.   Of course, I defended The N&O’s Mickey McCarthy and Claude Sitton for “doing their jobs” 25 years ago.   Whether one cusses or applauds an investigative reporter is totally dependent upon the ownership of the ox being gored by said reporter.

I first met Dan at the Jim Martin 3-Ring Circus at The Carolina Inn several years ago.  As that memorable event evolved into a Monty Python April Fool’s Joke, we looked at one another across the room and rolled our eyes.  I got a hug from Nicole then too.  🙂

99% of you have never seen, much less met, Dan Kane.  For the record he looks like an assistant pharmacist at Walgreen’s or maybe that guy at Lowe’s that knows where the thingamagigs are….Aisle 16 on the left next to the whatchamacallits.  He definitely does not look like a fellow capable of reducing an overtly proud Flagship to a wimpering puddle of C-blue goo.

If Helen’s face “launched a 1,000 ships and burned the topless towers of Ilium”….. how might Homer describe Dan Kane? ….. So Dan walks on stage to get his plaque.  Whats so Kafka-esque about that, BobLee?

Have I mentioned that intrepid N&O reporter Dan Kane was being honored at…..

The Hill Alumni Center “amid the pines” next to Beautiful Kenan Stadium on the hallowed campus of Ye Olde Flagship.  ….. WHAMMO !!!

Short of baptising Dan in The Old Well could it have been any more sacreligious?  I mean REALLY!  Whats next…. rename Polk PLace for Everett Case?

For the record, I did NOT see Jennifer, Deborah, Julius, Blake, Butch, PJ, Fats, Greg, Marvin or Jim Martin…… and, yes, N&O Editor John Drescher and I are old friends.

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The Marcus & TJ Show last week was “as good as it gets” for ACC rivalry basketball.  I was saying that before Marcus’ last second lay-up sealed the deal for UNC.

Yes, Roy has done a terrific job this season under “special circumstances” but  granting him COY accolades over whatshisname (Mel Torme?) at UVa seems silly.

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Charming Little Carol (From Dartmouth) and, former Z Smith Reynolds “bagman”, UNC system Prez Tom Ross have announced the hiring of (yet another) sorta-independent investigator to thoroughly investigate The Great Unpleasantness.

“This guy” actually has investigative street cred unlike kindly ol’ Jim Martin.   Whether “this guy” will be allowed to actually speak with Roy has not been announced.   “This guy” is a high-priced DC lawyer for what that’s worth.   His “high-price” is being met thru “a foundation” and not by tax-payer dollars or “so they say”.

The aforementioned Jim Martin Farce pretty much poisoned the credibility well for any such contracted “independent” investigation for about 20 years so the ABC Lynch Mob ain’t expecting too much.   Unless “this guy” arrives with enough C-4 to level Dean’s Dome AND Kenan he will be poo-pooed by the ABCers.

A bundle of stakes upon which to impale the heads of current (and former) coaches and administrators would also be seen as encouraging by closely-watching ABCers.

Why did “charming little” Carol & Tom “the former bagman” announce this latest development when they did?   Maybe that question was answered last Thursday……

The Great Unpleasantness has now made The Cover of Bloomberg’s BusinessWeek.  Three or four or five previous BizWeek articles on you-know-what created hubbub and fuss among both Tru-Blues and ABCers but this is the first “cover story”.

One quite anxious, and easily excited, ABCer declared this latest BizWeek piece to be “thermonuclear” in its impact.   I noted his tendency toward hyperbole on such matters. But definitely some severe body blows to the UNC-Ch “brand” on a national scale.

For any who don’t know….. the CEO of Bloomberg BusinessWeek is a UNC alum AND a current UNC Trustee.   THAT is a coincidental “very weird” of Twilight Zone proportions.

Newsstand copies of BizWeek in Raleigh and Derm were sold out in minutes Thursday.   Copies in Chapel Hill were quickly burned.

Surely every ABCer and especially every Wuff, and his Aunt Clara, who have ever heard the word “amphibious” have read and reread the latest BizWeek piece amid whoops and giggles and chortles.  That is to be expected.  Such is a portion of the price UNC pays for its assorted indiscretions and malfeasances.

UNC ostrichs whose heads have been deeply buried in the sand for going-on five years remain unmoved.    For those Tru-Blues still holding fast to EDI (Everybody Does It) this latest doesn’t change them either.

But how many of you’ans have read Forbes’ recent interview with UNC’s RealAD Bubba Cunningham?  Far fewer I figure.

….. Decades of uninterrupted success had created an ethos of privilege and entitlement at North Carolina; university and community leaders operated as though they existed outside the rules of the system they helped create. Like a virus, the Tar Heel culture was infected with a deep and systemic belief that the “Carolina Way” was in fact, the only way.

“When I first took over [as athletic director] in late 2011, it became immediately evident that the culture of the department had stagnated,” recalls Cunningham. “UNC had been incredibly successful for so many years, but the program was floundering. There was no mission, no roadmap on how to maintain that achievement, only the assumption that what worked in the past would somehow continue to work in the future. The Tar Heels were drifting down a directionless road of with no destination in sight,” he adds.  LINK to Full Article.

I am sure every ABCer will immediately discount every single word of this Forbes’ interview “because”. Again, to be expected. But I encourage one / all to read it anyway “because”. 

Rumor has it…. “Just call me Dickie” ain’t happy at all with Bubba TheRealAD over this.  Hit him again Bubba…. Harder…. Harder.   WHAM!

Personally, I have no clue how or when this will ever be resolved or what next shoe might drop.  For sure, those who said “the parking tickets are it…. lets move on” were a bit premature.  Ya think!

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For The Record…. I DID NOT watch The Winter Olympics….. The NBA All-Star Game…. OR The Oscars.   I did watch the final 20 minutes of The Daytona 500.

We OD’ed this weekend on H2 (History Channel 2) “Men Who Made America” about Vanderbilt, Rockefeller, Carneige, Morgan Ford…. STRONGLY Recommend for one & all.

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