3 – 2 – 1 KICK-OFF

August29/ 2013

The Eddie Haskell of College Football gets a 30-minute time-out….. A rough week for UNC pros….. Can I watch one more day of FoxSports1?….. USAToday Headline screams – BobLee Is Right!……  and The Good Sports Are BACKKKKK.

Lucy just jerked the football away from Charlie Brown.  What itty bitty shread of integrity left in Big Time College Sports just went SPLATT!

The NCAA shoulda hired Alan Iverson to make the announcement.   The Announcement being that Johnny Manziel aka “College Football’s Eddie Haskell” must stand in the corner for 30-MINUTES for sticking his entitled thumb in the eye of The NCAA and rubbing it in.  Can’t you imagine Iverson doing his trademark “PRACTICE” with “30 MINUTES” !!!

Suspended for “the first half of the Rice game”.   Whatever happens to PJ now has a new benchmark of unadulterated silliness to be measured by.  I’m thinking maybe PJ “sits out the lay-up drill” at Saturday Night With Roy.

Just when we think The NCAA can’t possibly become more of a blundering bumbling caricature of a toothless bureaucracy stubbing its toe and doing a bad impression of Rob Petrie tripping over the ottoman.

NOTE:  Blondie gives me a hard time whenever I throw in an obscure reference like Rob Petrie tripping over the ottoman.   …… “You do know that only MAYBE 2-3 readers will “get that” don’t you?”  Sure, I know that but those 2-3 of you that do “get it” are grinning like cheshire cats right now.    Others are wondering “whats a cheshire cat?”  ……. whatever happened to Mel Cooley?

Will the ridiculosity of the whole Mess de Manziel finally implode the NCAA?  The NCAA is now “Bernie” as in Weekend At Bernie’s.  They can carry Bernie around all weekend but Bernie, and The NCAA, are both deader than a doornail.

Rob Petrie AND Bernie….. Prince Albert is soooo confused now.

Johnny Manziel is THE perfect embodiment of every board monkey’s ultimate superhero.   He is Superman, Batman and Wolverine incarnate for the slobbering mob of slightly post-adolescent lunatic fringers.  Every goggle-eyed spittle-spewing goober with an Erin Andrews poster pushpinned to the ceiling of his man-cave / dorm room now wants “to be Johnny Manziel”.

Johnny Football looked Authority in the eye and spit in it.   Bart Simpson LIVES in College Station, Texas.

I understand there was no evidence….. no cancelled check….. no cell-phone video of cash being exchanged….. blah blah blah and blah. Forget my earlier idea of the polygraph.  I just want to ask:

Johnny, you signed 4,500+ autographs for some sleazy Ratzo Rizzo-types you had never met before.   Out of the goodness of your heart ??? ….. How come you did dat? 

Was it to put a new roof on an orphanage?  Was it to save a Ugandan village?  Will the sale of that signed memorabilia go to The Jimmy V Foundation to cure cancer or some such bad thing?  Tell me Johnny….. Why did you DONATE that much time and effort in signing 4,500 autographs for the Ratzos?

The “Aggie Code”?  Flush It!   ….. sigh, sob, sniff.


Rough Week for two UNC pro athletes…… Jonathan Cooper breaks his leg and Matt Harvey blows out his elbow.  OUCH!

BUT….. Jeff Saturday emerges as THE Best New ESPN NFL Analyst since Jon Gruden and Herm Edwards.   Really.   If you haven’t caught Jeff making the rounds of ESPN’s “guys sitting on stools being pithy” shows….. Jeff is Very Good.  He has plenty of been there / done that cred and, most importantly, does NOT take himself too seriously.

I look forward to having Jeff as a guest on Good Sports later this Fall.


Speaking of ESPN….. the first full week of FoxSports1 is more painful to watch than Joe Biden on Jeopardy.  REALLY.  It’s like outtakes from the next Ron Burgundy movie. (obscure reference #3).

The two Canadian clowns doing “FoxSports does Sportscenter….. badly” don’t even rise to the level of a Jr Hi version of an SNL skit of Sportscenter.   The Gong Show Lives (obscure reference #4)….. bring on the Unknown Comic with the paper bag over his head.

ESPN has become a caricature of itself so what does that make FoxSports1?   Monty Hall and an audience of pathetic Jerry Springer rejects dressed up as fruits and vegetables.

Whats next week?  Miley Cyrus salsa dancing with Reverend “Slick Billy” Barber? (semi-obscure reference #5)


Today’s Sports Headline on USAToday:


Depending on when you read this – The Good Sports are back for Season Two on WCHL 97.9.…. two hours before every UNC Football game this Fall.

4:00 PM Today – Thursday….. you can go to WCHL’s website and “stream it” live from 4-5….. or download “their app”….. or wait til next week and catch it archived here. …… stream it ?? ….. app ?? PrinceAlbert is still googling Rob Petrie.  Google ??

Art and I have a BOFFO interview with USoCar Deputy AD Charles Waddell for today’s show.   My 2nd Incredible question to Charles is already being compared to Babba Walter’s asking Princess Di who was your favorite of the Seven Dwarfs?

Franklin Street media mogul Jim Heavner says it is the first time “Johnston County” has ever been uttered in Chapel Hill.   Jim would know.

I did a special column for our Season Two Kick-off…… here it is – CLICK.

Charles Waddell was once on a short list for UNC AD along with Dickie Baddour…… and Matt Kupec.   OUCH and OUCH.  That’s like being in a ménage a trois with Lizzie Borden and Typhoid Mary.

After the interview, Charles – a very good guy BTW – asked me to say hello to Prince Albert for him.  See how I artfully connect all the dots here at the end …..

Charles lettered in Three sports at UNC in the mid 70s.  Prince Albert OF COURSE lettered in FOUR at UNC in the mid 50s. ….. while Bob Kennel was lettering in _____ over at NC State?

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