As so often seems to happen these days….. “sports” and society partner in an ongoing bizarre kabuki dance. BobLee and AgentPierce combine their traditional observational perspectives to bring an itty bitty iota of clarity to the muck.
Bananas at a baseball game…. Obama’s “first rodeo”…. screaming galoots at a golf tournament….. three clear signs of The Apocalypse. Instead of “raining frogs”, we have “a tsunami of idiots”. ……
NOTE: Quick Solution Advice to aTm AD Eric Hyman…. gather the following in a secure room: You, aTm Prez, aTm legal counsel, Johnny Manziel, Manziels’s father, their attorney….. and The Two Best polygraph experts in the State of Texas.
Ask Johnny to submit, then and there, to two polygraph tests (one by each expert) relative to the autographs for $$$ scandal…. if he refuses, he will be suspended indefinitely from aTm football. If he agrees…. and fails the tests (i.e. “took money”) – he is terminated from aTm football. If he passes the test (i.e. “did not take $$$”) then aTm will stand by him 100% and accept whatever the future brings. That there was a polygraph and its results will never be divulged to anyone not in the room….. but aTm’s decision will be.
The guy that threw the banana at the Orioles’ centerfielder in San Francisco this past weekend has apologized “that it was a banana”….. asserting that he meant no racist overtones by his unfortunate choice of fruit. So we are to assume that had he hurled a pomegranate, kiwi or tangerine he would feel no need to apologize. ???
Should all involved be grateful that he did not have access to a watermelon (and a catapult)?
He threw the only available piece of fruit at the Oriole outfielder (Adam Jones, a AfAm) “because the Giants are playing so awful this season”. ??? That bizarre line of reasoning seems to fit perfectly with the whole incident viewed in its entirety.
I’ve been to many baseball games but would have no idea where to find a banana to throw in a ballpark.
It being San Francisco, and the whole mini-molehill brouhaha being oh-so-symbolic, anything using “a fruit” was begging to be misinterpreted by them what look for symbolic hate-throwing.
Since “orange” neither rhymes with nor represents an aggrieved race or sexual proclivity, it should be the Official MLB “fruit to throw at a centerfielder”.
The good-ol knee-jerking media got its weekly occasion to declare America as a racist volcano just about to blow….. and Chiquita Brands got to prepare a public statement in case the Obama-Holder Administration had outlawed bananas as “overtly racist fruit”.
No doubt there is a wide receiver (Kenny Chesney fan) in Philadelphia very glad about the banana-throwing Giant fan. America moves on to its latest overblown racist BOOM!
Meanwhile in Sedalia Missouri a “rogue rodeo clown” has jumped in his last barrel. The “rogue rodeo clown” donned an Obama mask and ran from an enraged bull during a bull-riding event at the Missouri State Fair.
He immediately became THE most celebrated rodeo clown EVER and, surely, the first one ever mentioned Above-The-Fold in the NYT and every other self-righteously-indignant liberal fish wrapper in America. And the first rodeo clown EVER banned for LIFE from the Pro Rodeo Clown Association although no one seems to know his name. (Raise your hand if you knew there even was such an association to be banned for life from….)
Ya think MSNBC and CNN have ever done three full days of “rodeo clown” stories?
Yes… we all know that plenty of clowns, comics and general jackasses donned Reagan, Nixon and Bush masks and did all sorts of stoopid acts designed to make fun of the person they intended to be……. BUT none of those POTUS’ had a Kenyan father.
The Kunte Kente Reparational Act of 2008 expressly forbids any act of non-adoration to that aforementioned son of a Kenyan father. If you have not learned that by now its probably too late. Doing ANY sort of comic parody of Barack Obama was a very stoopid thing to do in 2013. Even a “rogue rodeo clown” shoulda known that.
Ya think a certain banana-thrower in San Francisco AND a certain Kenny Chesney fan in Philadelphia were very glad to learn about all this hubbub in Sedalia Mo.
The Democratic Governor of Missouri – Jay Nixon immediately cancelled his scheduled appearance at the State Fair Ham Breakfast. Did Governor Webb hear there were going to be BANANAs on the breakfast cereal?
Officials within the Obama-Holder Administration began drafting legislation to ban rodeos, clowns, Obama masks and “ham breakfasts”.
Meanwhile at the PGA Championship in Rochester NY, a certain strain of idiot fans spent four days yelling “Babba Booey” and other equally idiotic yells immediately after player swings.
“Babba Booey” is apparently a standing joke on the Howard Stern Show. It is not clear if “Babba” eats bananas or has ever been a rodeo clown.
Tiger Woods (who had a black father) did not play well in the tournament but the goofy white guy from Auburn that won has a pretty white wife. Surely there is something overtly racist in that somehow.
Idiot fans have been idiot fans at PGA events since the first idiot yelled “You da man” at Raymond Floyd back in the 80s. Could it be the same idiot after all these years.
PGA galleries being what they are, surely fans near the idiot can easily identify him. Why, after all these years, haven’t they turned on him and disemboweled him. I don’t know any Rules of Golf that prohibit disemboweling of an idiot. So long as you don’t use one of those illegal long-handled putters to do it, of course.
This Babba Booey crap was discussed on Sunday during the final round. By then I bet a certain drunk Kenny Chesney fan, a banana-throwing Giants fan, and that banned-for-life “rogue rodeo clown” were glad to hear about him.
BobLee and AgentPierce will choose the NFL guy, the Giants fan, or the rodeo clown, (but not the yelling PGA idiot) any day over the pin-headed idiots in the national media who made these above-documented nothings into “lead stories”.
We don’t know why any of these idiots did what they did. But we DO KNOW why the pinheads in the media did what they did. No surprise there.
That ol’ handbasket is getting so close to Hell now we can smell the brimstone.
A column on “idiots” and we left out Joe Biden. Apologies to Bozo Joe for the unintended slight. Not having a Kenyan father, Joe is fair game…. which is why he was picked to be Veep in the first place.