RIMSHOTS: 07/20/13

July20/ 2013

Back from a short self-imposed hiatus.   I felt I was beating too many dead horses and if I’m bored, I figure most of you might be too.  Sure there are numerous unresolved issues and there always will be….. such is The Cycle of Life.   Tis almost the Season of Color & Pageantry which with all its yuckiness still means a lot of exciting moments.  Today I’m asking….. am I the only one who:

Am I the only one who:

…. is glad to see the Orioles and Pirates contending again?  I know that year in / year out the teams who can buy the better players will usually win but its reassuring to see a cinderella every now and then.   Especially franchises that “used to” contend a lot.

…. is sooo tired of reading / hearing about EVERY freakin’ word Johnny Manziel utters.  Is “what really happened at the Manning Passing Academy” REALLY a major sports story.  ESPN covered SEC Media Days with 72 hours of non-stop punditry.

….. still thinks PGA golfers wearing “tennis shoe golf shoes” look like goobers with pull carts at a local muni.  Whats next hot pink and day-glo golf balls?  I know its better for their backs and knees etc but it looks goofy.

….. wonders if Troy Landry on Swamp People has only one shirt?  I’ve watched that show off / on for 3+ years and Troy, God luv’em, has worn the same purple striped pullover in every show.  Does Troy only have the one shirt or does he have a closet full of that same shirt?   Watch that show twice and you’ve seen all of’em…… No, I’m not into Duck Dynasty.  Watched a coupla shows and could not “get it”.

….. thinks THE BEST show on TV is Aerial America on The Smithsonian Channel?  The aerial travelogue of each state with that soothing narrator voice almost makes one forget we are headed to hell in a fast-moving handbasket.

….. sort of agrees with a Tar Heel semi-fat-cat who told me this week that IF this PJ Mess results in Ol Roy going by-by….. that not too many folks are going to try and stop him.   His two rings and many many Ws notwithstanding;  Ol’ Huckleberry just has an arrogant abrasiveness about him that irritates folks. ….. and Yes, if Roy should leave, there will be idjits posting the names Calipari, Phil Jackson, and maybe even Larry Brown.  Thats what idjits do.

….. If Roy would leave, would the institution that so lauded and applauded that clueless bumbling twit Baddour name anything of significance for him?  What?

….. has heard that Charming Little Ivy League Carol has not completely left Dartmouth due to “a messa problems” up there.   If she could not control the loonies in that little asylum, hows she gonna deal with the army of screamin’ meemees in Chapel Hill ???  Could be a long long 4-5 years.   Its already been a very long and unpleasant three years.

….. if somehow Alabama loses two games before November, will someone post a FireNick.com website?   You KNOW someone will.  Tuff bizness.

….. thinks Matt Harvey has a real shot at being “the next super superstar” or “the next Bo Belinsky”….. ouch.   Better win a few Cy Youngs and 30-40 more games before he is calling himself Broadway Matt.  Also he might check with Daniel Bard before he starts talking about “that $200,000,000 contract”.   Nothing flashy about Little Brother Eli except those two Super Bowl rings and he keeps showing up and doing his job.

…… did ya see where “the powers that be” of women’s basketball are getting concerned that nobody much cares about women’s basketball?   Can’t fool those powers that be…. !!!!!

….. I’m still undecided how much I care about PEDs and baseball.   It’s somewhere between not at all and not much.  How come 95% of the Biogenesis Bunch are Hispanic?

….. is there ANY major (???) women’s sport that you even remotely care about?   Can you name (and spell correctly) three current women’s tennis players not named Williams? ….. and we won’t even bring up the LPGA.  The LP what ???  The most famous female sports figure is Danica Patrick who competes in “a man’s sport”.

….. have you ever watched 30 minutes of any X Games?   Do you know anyone who has?

….. watching all those “pawn shop shows”….. have you ever been in a pawn shop?  That show about the Las Vegas pawn shop ALWAYS has something interesting.  I like the shaved head guy that runs it but his co-workers are annoying.

….. I finally found something interesting about UFC (aka “two drunk marines in speedos fighting over some skanky gal”) – Brittney Palmer!   Brittney is “the Octagon Girl”.   Hubba Hubba.

….. I’ve now read 20 of the 28 Stone Barrington books by Stuart Woods.  The urbane NYC homicide cop turned lawyer turned “white knight” is basically Remington Steele / Spenser.  Not intended to be great literature but always a fun read.

….. if you like Castle, you should like King & Maxwell.  Check it out.

……if The Great Unpleasantness has a shelf life of 25 years minimum….. does the 25 years start from Marvin’s tweet or when we’ve gone three months without a new chapter being written?  Best line of the past three weeks – “More Wuffies recognize the name “Fats Thomas” than know who Dave Doeren is.” …… Roy, bless his heart, has never heard of either one.

NOTE:  I was not aware of the “Jan Boxhill Did What” Report until today (Sunday).  N&O Editor John Descher and I reached a mutual agreement three years ago.  He would not read this website and I would not read his newspaper.  This has nothing to do with his coverage of the UNC Mess but rather his coverage of “other issues in our society”.

After the travesty of The Martin Report, nothing surprises me from the UNC Administration.

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