Are The Rafters Atumblin’ Down??

June08/ 2013

Hang On Sloopy ….. It’s about to “GO NUCULAR” !!
Not that it matters, since UNC (and NC State) is A BASEBALL SCHOOL  but….

UPDATE:  Congrats to Carlos & Company for yet ANOTHER Humdinger protracted victory.  Its “On To Omaha” for the scrappy never-say-die Pack…..

The charges against “PJ” keep mounting like clowns pouring out of a circus car.  Will they open the trunk of the “mystery SUV” and find Jennifer Wiley ??   How will we know its her?

Folks on Franklin Street are sorta strange – Duh!   They aren’t worried about The Grass …. or The Gun…. or The No License…. or The Mystery SUV.
The #1 concern on beeyotiful Frankin Street is:

Why was he in Durham?
Why would anyone in Chapel Hill EVER go to Durham?”

Why indeed!

The “name” on the car rental agreement?  Since when did “Greg Little’s uncle” bother with rental agreements? That makes no sense.


This DOES IT!  Dean’s Dome Is Done…. Implosion would happen this weekend but UNC officials do not want to interfere with Super Regionals.  A fleet of dumptrucks are already lining up on Manning Drive to haul off the rubble.  “Charming Little Carol” (The New Chancellor from THE IVY LEAGUE dontchaknow) will have the honor of pushing the detonation plunger.  Next Wednesday around 10:45 or so is the appointed hour, subject to change.

“The Jerseys” will be cut into little squares and given to the first 1,000 dedicated Carolina Way Kool-Aid drinkers who can say “…. but but but Everybody does it” without giggling.  EXCEPT for Walter Davis’ jersey which Holden Thorp snatched up on his way outta town.

“The Rafters” are being whittled down to golf tees and given to ORW as a “parting gift”.  It may be a while before he can use’em.   The “there’s more, Coach” news about the gun and the rental SUV sent Two Rings into a catatonic fury.  Hubert had to zap him with a tranquilizer dart.  Roy is currently heavily sedated at “an undisclosed location”.  Whether he will be calmed down enough to attend Wednesday’s Implosion is unclear.

The Joe Holliday Retirement Connection…. a Coincidence??  Yeah, right!  “Good Ol’ Joe” was UNC’s designated arms dealer.  He knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a Czechian arms merchant named Zeke who supplies 9mms to all the NBA guys.  Kentucky players get Berettas. Louisville dudes get Walther PPKs.  Roy insisted UNC would “use American” so Zeke supplied Smith&Wessons.

The George Karl Fired By Nuggets Connection…. NBA COY & UNC guy George Karl mysteriously fired by Denver Nuggets the same week Joe Holliday “resigns” and PJ goes to Durham.   a Coincidence… Yeah, right!  After being passed over at least three other times for “his dream job” George has now positioned himself to slide into Roy’s office.   But but but did George actually graduate from UNC.  Yes…. its only black player/coaches that never ever graduate.  Oh…. thats right. …… Do only black players get tattoos?  Only “black players” AND really really really strange white players named “Birdman”.  Oh….

After The DD is blown up…. where will George Karl’s Tar Heels play?

Oh…come on.  Did you also think that news about Frau Yow Hates The Hurricanes was A Coincidence?   Yeah, right!  The Canes have had it with Frau and her diabolical “I hate men. I hate Hockey . I hate men who play Hockey; and Randy thinks I’m really “focused” so I win.”

Frau cut a deal to replace the Canes….a WNBA franchise to be named the West Raleigh Yowzers.

Knowing The Big Kaboom was inevitable….. plans have already been finalized ‘tween UNC and Pete Karmanos to relocate the Canes to MeadowMont just outside Chapel Hill.  The spacious penthouse condo once occupied by The Butcher & (the other) Tami is being retrofitted for a Basketball / Hockey combo condo.

After 30 years of non-stop bitching and class warfare, this new Home Of The Heels (and Canes) will ONLY have “a lower level”.  Ergo everybody gets to be “special”.  Seating will be limited with priority given to anyone who is “on record” as warning Holden to “GET RID OF BADDOUR.  He is a clueless nebish.”  I have been offered my own section.

NOTE:  As of 10:50 AM Saturday, Holden & Patti Thorpe and their U-Haul were spotted at a reststop outsde Paducah Kentucky.  Arrival in St Louis expected “around 4-4:30”.  After 12 hours of driving Holden has not checked his rearview mirror ONCE.  Who can blame him?

There’s more…. LOTS more but the bug I planted in Bubba’s office last week needs recharging.  I’m gonna sneak in during the 4th inning of today’s Super Regional game and recharge it.  Check back later.  OK?


AgentPierce has been a VERY busy little provocateur the past few days.  His INCREDIBLE columns on Reverend Billy Barber aka “The Commanchero” and The Woeful Saga of Stephen LaRoque are FREAKIn’ AWESOME…. Check’em Out.

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