Who Dances With Andy Warhol?

May01/ 2013

America’s insatiable appetite for bestowing 15 minutes of celebrity chewed up how many “cinderellas” over the past two weeks….. how many eccentric players from Mississippi….. how many hottie coaches’ wives and player mammas….. how many obscure little schools….. devouring them SkiMasklike so many Fritos and sunflower seeds….. yum yum eat’em up.  With one week left in this annual all-you-wanna-eat insta-fame buffet the current media obsession atop the leader board is……. “a broken leg” !!!!

How many of you not from Mississippi can still name that HEY LOOK-AT-ME kid from Ol’ Miss who was such the rage just two weeks ago?  He is back to having to show his ID when buying beer at an Oxford C-store.  His dreams of being “Johnny Basketball” just a might-have-been.  Is he the “guy in the ski mask”?

When you filled out your brackets three weeks ago you did not know Florida’s Gulf Coast even had a university.  Now it’s “newest hot coach” and his Maxim model wife have up and left its quiet obscurity for someplace called Southern Cal.   Those Ws over Georgetown and San Diego State were worth about a million dollars a piece to Andy & Amanda Enfield.

In 2013 one becomes “the next Must-Have Coach” by beating San Diego State ???  Who knew?

Two weeks ago the Enfields were grossing less than Wojo or CV Healy.  Now they make almost as much as the 12th player on the Sacramento Kings’ roster.   Ain’t America grand?

The ink on Andy’s USC contract was not even dry before the LA star culture was creating a “hottest coach’s wife” battle between Amanda Enfield and Mrs Lane Kiffen.

Will Florida Gulf Coast make a play for Mark Gottfried…. (or Bzzzzz)?  With Zo, Calvin/CJ and even Rodney Purvis having bailed out of America’s Next Great Basketball Dynasty in West Raleigh, is there discord on The Brickyard?   Would The GottFather like a 10-year contract?  New Mexico has one available that was only used for two weeks.

Is there a FGCU board monkey declaring FGCU “a sleeping giant”?  Does FGCU even have board monkeys?  YES.

UCLA certainly has its equivalent of UNC’s infamous BOT3…. on steroids.

My personal “best moment so far” goes to “the 3 from downtown” by the Michigan kid that sent Bill Self into the Jayhawk doghouse.  I put that Michigan kid and the Speedy Gonzales from Louisville that made Duke look “too white” and too slow as the top individuals so far.

Actually my “best” so far is that VW commercial with the guy in the ski mask going into the convenience store.  THAT IS FUNNY.   You may have noticed, there are only three different commercials for the whole tournament with each one being run a bazillion times.

You know a commercial has been overdone when the sponsor does a parody of its own commercial….. the guy with the kids in the kindergarten classroom …… and the same guy with the old NBA guys in the same classroom.  I still prefer the guy in the ski mask.  I REALLY don’t like “Mr Mayhem” the insurance catastrophe guy.

Kudos, of course, to Shaka and Brad for deciding that they can make do with a million apiece to stay at VCU and Butler.   Wouldn’t it be nice if both stay put where they are forever?   If either hits a dry spell lets hope their schools repay their loyalty when that time comes.

Re: “the broken leg”….. it is easy to lampoon modern journalism for its total capitulation to a low information audience.  We know for a fact that what now passes for sports writing is simply trolling the fan boards for whatever is “hot” for 15 minutes…. but this national media obsession with “the broken leg” is about as pathetic as it gets.

We have four days before the Final Four begins.  Is that time enough to create a national outcry – Is Basketball Too Dangerous?   What color lapel ribbons will be chosen to represent broken legs?  Will Michelle Obama wear a designer cast as she leads a national crusade to support “point guards with broken legs”?

The original 67 are now down to three traditional juggernauts and something called Wichita State.  Howsabout a free VW ski mask to any dimwitted board monkey under the age of 40 who knows that Wichita is in Kansas?

Two of the three juggernauts are, of course, future ACC members.  You just know that is exciting news for fans of GaTech, VaTech and Clemson basketball.   Are there “fans of GaTech, VaTech and Clemson basketball?  Who will be the first school to finish 16th in ACC Basketball?

BobLee will appear LIVE this Wednesday at The Raleigh Sports Club – Highland UMC on Ridge Road – 11:30 – 1:00.  Non members welcome. …….

As is the case with every BobLeeLIVE appearance, the audience’s appraisal of “how smart I am” will depend solely on how many of my opinions agree totally with theirs….. sigh.

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