‘O To Be “A David”!

March25/ 2013

It was “the black Jeff Withey” (aka Wilt Chamberlain) that said “no one pulls for Goliath”.  The purest joy in sports, or any competitive venture, is when an underdog rises up to smite the giant.  Undersized, outmanned, and so much the long shot the oddsmakers don’t even give odds…. and yet there is little David standing atop the smited giant…. and there is Bill Cowher pulling for Duke…. SAY WHAT ??FCGUWife

UNC was playing Kansas in Kansas City in March – KU had a giant center – and Lennie Rosenbluth was in the arena – and I was watching from my living room in North Carolina !!!!  Is that basketball deja vu or what?  Castleman D. Chesley you wrote my life…..

Surely (or was it Shirley?) there was someone who had a feeling that the third time would be the charm for Ol’ Roy.  Shirley Dr Naismith would lift the “phog” and Two Ring Roy would finally hang an “L” on the “waving wheaters”.  Would this be the year that Roy would get to play Quantrill at the school dance and lay waste the Lawrenceians?  For about ten minutes on Sunday night that possibility tickled the imagination of UNC faithful….. then SPLATT.

There are four schools with 2,000 basketball wins.  The two not named Duke and Kentucky were playing in Kansas City.   Duke would play later (with Bill Cowher on hand) while the school with the most wins – Kentucky – was none & done at home watching Naomi Judd’s skinny daughter Ashley pull for “that other team from Kentucky”.   Did Nostradamus’ call this one?

Can’t couch UNC v KU match-up as David v Goliath.   Besides, Central South Florida Atlantic Gulf Coast International U is the official Butler George Mason Davidson VCU “David” of March Madness ’13.

For both UNCers and ABCers, did you cringe a bit when Roy told Craig Sager at the half “let’s turn out the lights right now”.  Maybe Roy knew ‘twas not to be.

Somewhere Shammon Williams, Dante Calabria and Rick Fox were having flashback memories of those March Madnesses past when they laid enough bricks to convert beautiful Franklin Street to an outdoor pedestrian mall.   This year’s version of The Tar Heel Bricklayers were creative.

The kids in the lighter shade of blue weren’t “just missing” they were missing by area codes.  Hellfire…. with about twelve minutes to go I had a great idea….. give us ONE POINT if we can at least hit the rim.  Royz Boys missed more shots in the 3rd quarter than Scott Wood and the Curry Brothers have missed in their lives…… I mean Mussolini’s snipers were better shooters than THAT.

I don’t care for Girls’ Basketball because they don’t “shoot”…. they have to fling the ball at the basket.   Lacking the wrist and forearm strength they have no “touch” but have to “heave the ball” towards the elusive goal.   Last night the Heels were flingin’ and heavin’….. when they weren’t dribbling off their feet….. throwing passes into press row or into the chests of boys wearing KU jerseys.

Was I the only one who thought with eight minutes to go “OMG, this might be worse than San Antonio in ’08!”  Was ORW gonna show up at the post game presser with a Jayhawk sticker?  ……. It was not as bad as San Antonio in ’08 and ORW did not wear a Jayhawk sticker.

This was not a senior-laden team on some “destiny” trek.  This was just another dance that ended early as 62 other teams’ dances will do too.  Jeff Withey was not Dan Dakich.

And then there was THE Bill Cowher among the Duke faithful in Philadelphia……

OK, it coulda been worse if Karl Rove had come on with three minutes to go with statistics to show if Carolina hit twelve consecutive threes they might force overtime.

The ongoing saga of Roy – Self –KU – UNC probably won’t challenge “the Cubs never winning a pennant since…..” or match Dimaggio’s hit streak but never say never.

At least this March we weren’t playing some obscure Mormon biscuit boy at point guard or half the team in casts and crutches as has been the case over the decades.

This was a UNC team that began the season with low expectations and did exceed those low expectations.  It wasn’t like they were #6 in pre-season polls or celebrating the 30th Anniversary of some Cinderella story or anything like that.  It was a rebuilding season…. not a reload season.

When Roy made his well-publicized decision to go “small” every board monkey in TarHeelNation knew there were two Achilles Heels (pun intended) to that strategy.  (1) What happens when ya have a game where you’re firing blanks and (2) What happens when ya come up against a team with a “Big Guy”?  Last night both “what happens” happened and it was ugly. …… but not as ugly as San Antonio in ’08.

Now Roy goes golf hermit for a few weeks while Hubert and CV scour the globe for the next bunch of Zellers or Plumlees….. tall and talented white kids who will stick around for four years and “be a presence in the paint”.  Roy sticks “go small” in the bottom of his golf locker with his persimmon driver and Foot Joys with steel spikes.

Wanna bet PhilipBridges’86 is writing another letter?

Of the sixteen remaining teams….. seven come from Florida, Michigan and Kansas…. and one comes from wherever LaSalle is.

Now we get a bazillion stories about the FGCU coach’s hottie wife.  (That’s her in the picture up top)  Will she replace Katherine Webb as America’s #1 Twitter Babe.  Katherine Who?  Was she Manti’s imaginary girlfriend?  Manti Who?

Q:  BobLee, why was Wuff God Bill Cowher at the Duke game with Duke fans?
A:   Two reasons….. (1) Because John Swofford thought it would really freak out the Wuffs.  …. and (2) Because his daughter dates Duke’s Ryan Kelly.

Q: BobLee, is Ryan Kelly the first tall talented white kid from Raleigh that chose Duke over hometown NC State?
A: No, Shavlik Randolph did too.

Q:  BobLee, why did they?
A:  It was another John Swofford sneaky trick.

Can I officially talk about UNC Baseball’s Super Name Phenom Skye Bolt now…. or do I have to wait for “One Shining Moment”?

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