Will WHO “Go To Hell” ???

March04/ 2013

Sometimes its not what you hear but the circumstances in which you hear it.  A provocative question was posed recently in an assemblage of polite gentlemen a mile north of Franklin Street.  Had it been asked anywhere else it would not have produced the same Hang On Sloopy reaction –   Will Dean Smith Go To Hell? …… AND we also address “a wildfire rumor”.Hell-jpg

Got your attention, I bet.

The issue of Yea Olde Legend’s eternal destination was broached purely rhetorically.  It was not a judgment of his yet to be filed application to pass thru The Pearly Gates.  Had this question been posed in the Duke Chapel or in churches in Raleigh, Charlottesville or College Park the reaction would have been “different”.  This was Ground Zero where Dean Smith could, in his prime, routinely turn Gatorade into a mellow Merlot.

A member of Baby Boomers For Jesus (BBFJ) had just provided an update on Coach Smith’s losing battle with his dementia-like condition which is public knowledge.

Remove “it’s about Coach Smith” from this equation for a second.

When an individual’s mental capacities have severely diminished, is it too late to make that personal decision that is the foundation of modern Christian faith:  “….. that who so ever believeth in Him shall have ever-lasting life” ?

BUT you say….. Dean Smith recruited Charlie Scott in 1966.  Didn’t that guarantee him a PSL – Personal Salvation License?  Apparently not.   How about all the money he raised for far-left-wing politicians?  No, not that either.

“Good works” get you plaques, domes named after you, magazine covers, and even guest tee times at Augusta…. but not a post-this life condo in the clouds.  Not by most interpretations.  The BBFJs were not offering personal opinions.  98% of’em were too stunned that the question was even asked to express any opinion at all.

The question poser sensed the impact of his words.   A scramble for the Do-Over button was unsuccessful.

“Accepting Jesus Christ as your Personal Saviour” is the abridged answer to “How to get to Heaven”.  Skeptics who insist on getting into the technicalities of being swallowed by a whale or how many pairs of animals could fit on how big an Arc should be avoided during lightning storms and artillery barrages.

You’re not interested in BobLee’s personal theology.  You want to know how come Dean Smith, for Heaven’s sakes (pun intended), may not be a first ballot Heavenly Hall of Fame inductee.

Back in the 80s Dean met up with a fella named Robert Seymour.  Seymour was the type of “preacher” that only Chapel Hill (or Berkley) could love – a theological tossed salad of Jeremiah Wright – Timothy Leary – Elton John – Madelyn Murray O’Hare & George McGovern.  Sprinkle in some of “Wild Bill” Finlator from Raleigh’s Pullen Baptist squirrel’s nest.

Hit the pause button…. The Dean Smith and Robert Seymour relationship was well known in Chapel Hill.  In much the same way as Tom Cruise and L. Ron Hubbard….. OK, continue.

Seymour was “a Chinese Menu theologian” – Take one from Column A, one from Column B, and so on and build any set of beliefs that floats your boat.  His “gospel” was a lot more Bart Ehrman than it was King James.

Bob Seymour convinced Dean that the Genesis to Revelations thing was closer to Aesop’s Fables or Poor Richard Almanac than any “Divine Word of” anybody’s.  Bob dragged a net down Franklin Street scooping up every oddball belief system, sexual orientation and magic bean salesmen.  Threw it all in a blender and hit “puree”.  What poured out was Salvation per Seymour.   He stuck a funnel in Dean’s ear and poured in enough of his high-octane snake oil to sink a battleship.

Robert Seymour’s theology was once described as “….. Other than that (1) virgin birth & (2) Resurrection silliness, The Bible is a pretty good handbook for not coveting your neighbor’s wife or his Rolex.  …… Alas, those are the two key bookend anchors to anyone who ever answered an altar call.

“There is no Hell” according to Seymour.   Dean reportedly argued, unsuccessfully, for Cameron Indoor.  By the time Seymour was finished with his full brain scramble, Dean Smith, supposedly, ditched the concept of Jesus as God’s Son and substituted a Lesbian abortion activist named Madam Firefly.  That has not been confirmed…. or denied.

A 10 year-old after a week of Vacation Bible School accepts more mainstream Christian theology than Dean Smith was buying prior to the onset of his disability.

That brings us to the question posed in Dean’sVille last week – Would / Could Dean Smith Go To Hell since Dean personally did not believe such a place or concept existed?  …… I’m not sure Guam exists but my ending up there someday was not on anyone’s mind this day.

The question relative to Dean Smith was, again, rhetorical and therefore left unresolved.

Maybe Coach Smith spends eternity in Guam playing H-O-R-S-E with Madam Firefly?

Q:  BobLee, were any other ACC’s coaches’ ultimate destinations discussed?
A:  No, but your speculation on any/all is always welcomed.


I’m getting more and more inquiries about a steamy rumor picking up momentum over the past few weeks.  It involves a high profile sports celebrity connected with one of the bitter rival institutions in this immediate market.

The rumor has been floated in varying versions for several months.  It is now reaching critical mass in terms of total email boxes it has magically appeared on.

I will not speculate on any of the elements involved.  The Internet is a hair-trigger IED capable of destroying, often innocent, lives and institutions.

One idiotic tweet three years ago has reduced one area institution to a virtual poop smear of it’s former self.   An insane truck-stop ho and a nincompoop DA almost took down another one seven years ago.  I’m not saying this rumor has that potential but a full-speed collision between rival lunatic fringes can do a lot of damage.

This titillating rumor will either blow up….. blow away…. or just linger around for 4-5 years.  We’ll monitor it but we won’t talk about it here.

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