There Never Was An 11th Commandment

February11/ 2013

With Roy limping back from his 2nd annual Sunshine State Slaughter, we can now count on an odd coalition of UNC’s flatulent fat cats and screeching board monkey mob ratcheting up their Rip Roy Rants.  The teeth-clenching DEMAND that “we (??) MUST do something” will begin to resonate “amid the pines”.  What about The 11th Commandment?….  Roy-mad2

Human nature trumps technology and societal evolution.  Socrates, Da Vinci, Edison, Steve Jobs…. Over the centuries both geniuses and “the great unwashed” mob really haven’t evolved all that much. …… Those same seven deadly sins are still at the core of all human behavior.  In this case “Lust” for Bragging Rights.  That said:

This is a discussion of an internal situation within the Carolina fan-base, we are circumnavigating the ABCer Gospel that Dean Smith was Satan Incarnate with Roy being his archangel Lucifer.   It is the long-standing policy of this website to never interfere with anyone’s passionate belief in leprechauns, unicorns, The Illuminati and Carolina being The Golden Child of the NCAA.

It is 2013.  Near’bout the only similarities between the college basketball sandbox when Dean Smith flourished (mid 60s – mid 90s) and the current one that Roy Williams marinates in are (1) the ball is round and (2) Dick Vitale.

As college basketball evolved from Naismith to Phog to Iba/Rupp to Wooden/Smith and now to Roy/K/Calipari there have always been those reluctant to accept its evolution.  From “jump balls after each basket” to racial integration to “the 3-point line” to one&dones…. some see change as the natural order of things.  Some resist and piss’n moan about the supposed glories of by-gone eras.  Every glorious by-gone era, of course, had its share of piss’n moaners too.

Historians (and nit wit fans) tend to dismiss the plagues, pestilence and limited number of available TV channels when calling for an immediate return to “the way it usta be”.   Alas and alack – Old Man Usta is cold in the grave.

Carolina fans of a decidedly dysfunctional nature are now concluding that, initial assumptions aside – Ol Roy is NOT the prophesized reincarnation of “Dean”.   Two rings and an 80% win % bedamned.  “We have been hoodwinked.  The quicker we run this imposter outta Chapel Hill the quicker we can find the true Anointed One”

….. and the quicker dysfunctional nitwits can regain bragging rights at their country club and/or office water cooler.  Bragging Rights supposedly passed down to them in trust funds and/or by that goober in the double-wide next to theirs.

One does not invest heavily in C-blue attire and every single Art Chansky and Adam Lucas book to be well-back in the dog-sled queue.  The view from well-back in that queue is olfactorally unpleasant.   What about The 11th Commandment – “Carolina Is Always A Top Five Program”?

The drumbeat of history, alas, tends to drown out the protestations of the nitwit faction.   Basketball luddites are as susceptible to extinction as are manufacturers of buggy whips, phone booths, floppy discs, and Chuck Taylor canvas high-tops….. To every era, alas, there is a beginning – a flourish – a decline and, yeah verily – an end.  Ask the Hittites, the Mongols, the brontosaurus, the Commanches and…… ask Dean.

Dean saw “it” coming in 1997 when Stackhouse and Wallace were his first two & dones.   Dean had enthusiastically supported “three & dones” but “two & dones” totally negated the twin foundation of his Way –  (1) the evolution of a team hierarchy of upperclassmen leadership and (2) not recruiting on top of a developing star.

Unlike other rules evolutions – the shot clock, 3-point shot and TV timeouts – Dean, in the twilight of his coaching career, could not retool the foundation of his Way to accommodate “two & dones” and its natural successor – the dreaded “ONE & dones”.

How the events of 1995 evolved into Roy Under Seige circa 2013 is a matter of record and/or Internet mis-interpretations.

The Gut-transition (& pension-boost) was supposed to lead logically to Prodigal Roy’s return.  Alas, even Dean could not orchestrate that when Roy derailed the plan by “staying”.  Leading to Matt being Phil Bengston  (the human sacrifice who follows a Legend – Lombardi at Green Bay) .

Cutting to the chase….. Roy developed his Hall Of Fame creds using Dean’s program model…. The shank of Roy’s career has straddled the monumental sea-change in college basketball.  Roy’s major success at UNC has involved two groups of kids that are anomalies in today’s game ….. he got the 3rd year of Matt’s best group ….. then 4-years of Tami’s boy – Tyler – and a perfect cast of “stay in school” supporting characters.   If Roy can find 2-3 “4-5 stars” that would stay AT LEAST three years he can work a modified Dean system and stay Top Five.

I could point out that “stay four years-types” tend to share an epidermal similarity but that would veer this discussion into stormy seas.  Lets not go “there”.

IF…. IF …. the Wear Twins had been for real they would be the senior twin towers that this year’s team lacks.   If Kendall Marshall had stayed just one more year …… If The Zellers had become UNC’s Plumlees….. IF IF IF…..  sigh.

Roy’s eccentric goofiness is fine (and great fodder for guys like me!) and would be fine….. IF he could adapt even a Modified Modification of Dean’s Way to work in the current craziness of Big Time College BB.

Coach K HAS managed to come up with a modifed version that uses a series of “one & done” point guards and a never-ending succession of Plumlees.  Calipari mastered the One & Done Re-Load.

Roy has been caught this year with a roster full of “6th men” who were supposed to complement the designated “next go-to-guy” – James Michael McAdoo.  Alas, young James Michael is, himself, a solid #3 guy at best….. leaving UNCBB 2013 devoid of a #1 and a #2 guys.   Even one Wear or Zeller2 and a Kendall Marshall and this year’s “got blown outs” become nail-biters and/or Ws.   Franklin Street would be “a happy place”.

But we gotta dance with who we brung to the party.  Here we be.  The flatulent fat cats in the lower level have lost their bragging rights at “the club” and the great unwashed in the cheap seats have naught but their own wretched reality to confront.

Are there solutions on the horizon?  Can Roy retool in a manner he can live with?  Must Roy sell his soul to the AAU-street agents simply to ward off the internecine lynch mob?  Roy is approaching the age where Dean walked away…..  I’ve always liked goofy ol’ Roy.  I want him to control his own destiny.  As I want to control mine.  Yeah, right!

Is The Evolution of Great Unpleasantness destined to take UNC athletics in yet another alien direction fraught with new perils?

Alas, there never was That 11th Commandment.

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