RIMSHOTS: 11/30/12

November30/ 2012

Hellzapoppin’ in ACCWorld….. Frau Yow is flitting about with untold wads of cash….. Little Johnny is welcoming Papa John’s Folks….. ECU finds a home, sortof…..

I must make a correction.  I said in my last column that NOTHING can match “an NC State coach search” for pure slapstick comedy hijinks.  Not so much from the NCSU admins as from the goggle-eyed crazies swinging from the tire swings in the Brickyard Zoo. ….. I must add an exception.

This week Congresswoman Renee Ellmers (yes, of course, I know her.  I know everyone worth knowing!) proposed naming a Federal Building in Raleigh for the late Sen Jesse Helms – KABOOM !!!   The hairshirts on the Left went into extreme SCREECH mode as they do whenever the name “Helms” appears anywhere.   (One wonders how UNC gets away with that “Helms Award” in the Dean Dome rafters).

So now we have a Double Doozy Situation with both Wuff-Loons and Liberal Loons all bouncing off walls and gnawing off appendages….. Life IS Good!

Frau’s Big Search Update:
….. It’s Friday morning.  There could be a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT any time…. or maybe not.  It could be Sonny Dykes or maybe not.  It probably won’t be Chad Morris, but maybe it will be.  It definitely won’t be Rick Barnes.
Rick has officially removed his name from consideration.  “Rick Barnes saying no” is like Paxutawney Phil seeing his shadow in a Wuff coach search.  Every Wuff coach search has a “Rick says no” moment.
The candlelight vigil is still on at Bill Cowher’s North Raleigh mansion.
McQueen “Howdy Doody” Campbell’s plane has been sighted everywhere from Eugene Oregon to Tuscaloosa to Urban Meyer’s backyard.

Would Sonny Dykes be a good fit?  Yes, probably.  Dykes’ career is eerily similar to Larry Fedora’s.  He runs a pinball offense and earned his head coach bones at a smaller Gulf Coast institution.  Plus, both have Texas roots.   Could make for lots fun in the backyard rivalry until one/both move on…..

If its not Sonny, or Chad, or Shaka Smart…..or….. or….. . You can bet it WILL BE “Who Fau wanted all along”!  It always is.   Bless her heart.

Frau has stated she wants “Alabama-type talent” at her school.  She wasn’t referring to “bama home-boys Philip Rivers or Jericho Cotchery but rather the level of recruits that Nick corrals each year.  That comment by Frau sent Chancellor Randy’s email / phone system into melt-down mode.  NC State “going SEC” might delight the goggle-eyed goobers in the tire swings but it didn’t go over well AT ALL with the academically inclined in West Raleigh. …… Frau might THINK she has complete power but that remains to be seen.

Me?  I would go for “a Sonny Dykes-type”…. and not a Chad Morris-type.  Breaking in a “never-been-a-head coach-before guy had real liability with it.  Recall both Chucky and John Bunting…… ACC HFC OJT is a scary way to go.

Good-by Turtles….. Hello Papa John’s Cardinals
….. It sure didn’t take long to mourn the departure of the turtles, did it?  The ink wasn’t even dry on the lawsuit to collect that $50,000,000 before Little Johnny invited Papa John’s Cardinals of Louisville to his conference.

“Papa John” Schnatter is the #1 Fat Cat for Louisville athletics.  Their stadium is Papa John Stadium.  There ain’t no Domino’s around Louisville.

NOTE: With Louisville….. Cardinals (plural) are those red birds like the St Louis baseball team.  Stanford’s Cardinal (singular) is a tree.  The Catholic Church’s Cardinals are guys in funny hats and bedroom slippers.

I’m just fine with Louisville in The ACC.  But I’d be fine with South Carolina and East Carolina too.  Who freakin’ cares?

But but BobLee….. Louisville Kentucky is not on the Atlantic Coast?  So.   I don’t ever intend to actually go there and neither will 98% of you.   Conferences are now like the Internet….. who cares where anyone really “is”.   Bring in Pepperdine or Gonzaga…. who cares.   I’ll watch’em play ACC teams on TV.   College FB and BskB is totally a TV-sport now.  Traveling to follow your favorite team is only done by a handful of die-hards any more.  I MIGHT go to NC State, UVa, Duke and Wake to see a game, in addition to Kenan.  That’s it.   I’ve never visited Tallahassee or Miami and don’t plan to.  Pitt, Syracuse, Boston College…… yeah, right!

What about the $$$ of sending soccer, lacrosse, blah blah teams to “those faraway places”.  I don’t care….. and neither do you.  Let Bubba, Frau, Wellman, etc worry about that stuff.   I’m only concerned about goofy-looking helmets.

But but BobLee….. Louisville has a low “academic ranking”?  THE stoopidest concern in the history of really stoopid concerns.  UNC had Julius Peppers, Page-Moss, McGinnis.  NCState had Washburn, McLendon, etc.  Who CARES how many feakin’ Rhodes Scholars a school has….. talented jocks get in the backdoor everywhere….. always have and always will.   The cumulative IQ of Louisville’s teams will be within 3 IQ points of Duke’s.  Trust me.

Swoffy would bring in “a barber college” if it expanded the TV footprint.

ECU Finally Finds A Home…. sort of.
…… After decades of being college sports’ “foster child”, has ECU finally been adopted by someone?  Maybe so.   ECU being a “football only” member of the shattered remnants of the Not-Very-Big East is cause for Terry Holland to celebrate.
Now ECU has natural rivalries with San Diego State and Boise State.  Wonder how many Aztecs will travel to G-Vegas for that game?
Until what’s left of the Big (!!) East finally shuts down completely, ECU actually has annual rivals in its own time zone.

Looking like “a rough one” for Ol’ Roy
….. No need to order any more banners for the rafters any time soon.  Looking like Ol’ Roy is in for a “character-building” year for sure.   Two blow-out massacres already and its not even December yet.
Roy may need to call Mack Brown to commiserate.  When the fat cats stop calling with those fancy golf club invites, ya know it’s getting dicey.
Whatcha done for us lately, Roy?  Tuff bidness!
Yeah, Coach Gott has already dropped two too but it doesnt matter because….. well, it just doesn’t.
Duke hasn’t dropped any and will probably beat The Heat and The Lakers next week….. good thing Coach K is “over the hill” ain’t it.  🙂


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