Week Three: Do Stanford’s Players Take Swahili?

September17/ 2012

I adopted Stanford as my favorite “not-an-alma-mater” team when I saw Toby Gerhart gallop over Notre Dame and Southern Cal.  I loved Toby and Harbaugh The Younger and Andrew The Luck.  Could Stanford be the One Team in America that doesn’t play “everybody does it” ethics….. Before I sign the final adoption papers I gots to know – “Do Stanford’s players take Swahili?”.……

That last BLSays column !!!  Oh Me, Oh My…. OH MATT got over 10,000 views which is more than the number of listeners that the Tar Heel Radio Network still had after halftime of “The Greatest Comeback EVER almost”.

It was amazing how many Tar Heel Clavins’ sock drawers needed sorting after the Fighting Fedorians had imitated woeful Savannah State for 30 minutes in Louisville on Saturday.   I was not among the sock drawer sorters however.  I was a faithful Fedorian and saw a heckuva second half …… as documented in this week Huddle With The Heels in chapelboro.com ….. see below.

The 10,000+ viewers of “that column about Matt & Tami” included over 1,000 ECU Pirate “Cliff Clavins” from their Boneyard mosh pit.  They had no clue who Matt & Tami were but figured I was making fun of UNC so they all had to read it.  If I had included a coupon for a free order of hushpuppies at “B’s” I bet I could have gotten another 4-500.

I told you that by Week Three at least one Top Five team would fall.  The Men of Troy haven’t been so decimated since Agamemnon’s Greeks pulled that stunt with the wooden horse.   Matt Barkley announced after the game he has cancelled his order for a display case for a certain bronze statue presented in December.   Is it time for Lane Kiffin to update his resume again?  Two years is a lifetime for Lane.

Forget that fightin’ fir tree mascot….. Stanford’s mascot should be a Giant Sequoia.   Their offensive line is bigger than Louie Farrakan’s bodyguard posse…. and those suckas are HUGE!   Hummers in helmets.

King Nick’s Tide did almost as much damage to the Razorbacks as Bobby Perino’s biker bimbo.  Speaking of Perino’s biker bimbo….. anyone knows who she is engaged to this week?

My second alma mater – Mizzou’s Tigers – played the Louisville role in a “great comeback almost” vs Arizona State.   My team hung on to win that one but not until Coach Gary Pinkel was auditioning deep snappers from among Mizzou’s Golden Girls dance team.   If you imagine the mechanics of deep snapping and imagine a Golden Girls dance team that could be yet another “Hubba Hubba moment”.

Deep snapping ain’t exactly rocket surgery – bend over and fling the freakin’ ball between your legs about 3’ off the ground.  Don’t bounce it and don’t launch the damn thing.  30,000 students at Mizzou – FIND A FREAKIN’ DEEP SNAPPER!

I haven’t actually researched it but AT LEAST ten teams each week are scoring 50 points or more?  BCS FB schools are averaging more points/game than 85% of NBA teams did last season.

Soccer versus American Football.  Florida State has scored more points in three games than Manchester United has scored EVER.

WCHL’s Good Sports w/ Art C & BobLee was “best ever” this past Saturday with special guest Tommy Hunt – former ACC Supervisor of FB Officials.   Week One & Two are tied for 2nd best just a smidgen behind Week Three.

I asked Tommy – “since it is common knowledge (??) that Swofford hates State and always stacks the deck in favor of Carolina “because” …… and State is 5-0 versus UNC,  when might we expect Little Johnny to finally get that deck stacking thing figured out?”  Tommy said we’d have to check with Jim Knight about that.

It is a great interview with a very fine gentleman.   You can hear all past shows in the archives here (CLICK).  I am working on the technology to delete everything Chansky says.  Next week’s show will probably be even better.  Be There or Be Square!   Two hours before kick-off of UNC v ECU.

Wuffs beat something called the Thunderjags and Duke won The Battle For Derm over NCCU.   Randy Edsall’s house in College Park would get egged….. if anybody really cared.   If Maryland plays Boston College and no one shows up will it still count?

There is no Joy in BeamerVille…. but heck they did better than their hated Hoo neighbors did on Bobby Dodd Field across from The Varsity.  Ouch.

To my original question re: Stanford.  Is there some Swahili-esque scam on The Farm in Palo Alto that they use for eligibility purposes?  Surely their arch enemies over in Berkley would know if there is.  I gots to know.

Surely Stanford has all kinds of jock-hating academ-weenies out to destroy all vestiges of testosterone on their campus.  Is there some Dan Kane Carl Bernstein wanna-be at the San Francisco Chronicle I might call?


This Week’s Huddle With The Heels Column……

Greatest Comeback EVER… almost
By BobLee – 09/17/12

It was Sept 15, 2012.  Not March 2, 1974.  This time Walter Davis missed.  OK, it would never have supplanted “8 down with 17 seconds to play” regardless.  It was not in Carmicheal.  It was in a stadium named for a pizza mogul in a city more famous for a horse race.  It was not against Duke.  It was against Louisville and only remnants of a crowd of 55,000 were there at the end.

By last count, 138,662 die-hard Carolina fans were in Carmichael in March 1974.  That number will go up after this.  Every time I ever write about “8 down with 17 seconds to play” I hear from yet another “I was there”…. or “my dad was there and he swears that….”.

Did I channel Charles Dickens’ one week to soon.  Surely Saturday in Papa John was “The Best of Halfs – The Worst of Halfs” or vice versa.  I’m assuming most reading this are fans of the team that scored 34, not the team that scored 39.

Carolina lost the game.  Let me make that clear.  Carolina lost the game.  Larry Fedora did not come to Carolina to almost win football games.  Larry Fedora did not come to Carolina to give “Don’t get your daubers down men.  You played hard.  You gave it your all.  We’ll get’em next week by golly” post-game speeches.

Larry Fedora came to Carolina so the opposing coaches will give “we’ll get’em next week” speeches.   Make those other SOBs give up their lives for their cause…..  Larry Fedora came to Carolina to WIN (and build character, integrity, yadda yadda yadda….) and in Louisville on Saturday last his team did not win.  Larry is not a happy Fedora today……. NOW READ LOTS MORE for the part about “Renner had a better week than Kupec did.….”


I’ll be in Hickory on Thursday to blow smoke at the Hickory Rotary Club.  Wanna bet there’ll be a question involving the word “Thorp”?

Want BobLee to blow smoke at YOUR Civic Club?  If you’re not too far away he will.


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