Two Traditions “Like No Other”

April08/ 2012

Two Traditions in America sports share the headlines. …. (1) The Masters on Sunday…. as gorgeous as ever even without early-blooming azaleas.  High drama on, arguably, the most storied and familiar venue in all of sports.  Honorable gentlemen battling nerves and nature for a place in the pantheon of their sports Valhalla…… And (2) in Fayetteville Arkansas, The Razorback Rascal Romeo brazenly flaunts his sorry no-goodness.  Another big time BCS coach relies upon a desperate state-wide fan base being as pathetically amoral as he is to excuse his inexcusable behavior. …..  Two traditions in American sports.

UPDATE:  Arkansas Fires Petrino…. Jeff Long is NCAA AD Of The Year !!! Fired For Cause = No Stoopid Buy-Out.  The Sumbitch (Petrino) is FIRED!

There may be some people somewhere that do not enjoy Sunday @ The Masters.  I’m pretty sure I have very little in common with such people.  I gave up playing golf over a decade ago and have never regretted doing so.  Playing the sport was ill-suited to my nature on several levels.  That said, there is no annual sports event I so thoroughly enjoy as much as Sunday @ The Masters.  This year was certainly no exception.

I do not follow the PGA Tour very closely any longer other than “the Majors”.   There was a time I was associated professionally with the Tour and enjoyed that association.  Much as I did with NASCAR doing the same period.  I, likewise, only have a passing interest in NASCAR now.  One day I just decided “been here done this” and moved on.  But I always watch The Masters.

A few observations from the weekend.  Who approved bringing back wide white belts?  I thought those died with Sonny Bono and Hullabaloo.  They should have.

I understand why some players now wear “tennis shoes” rather than traditional spiked golf shoes.  It’s an orthopedic issue.  BUT they make even the pros look like hackers on a muni course.  Can’t Foot Joy make a shoe without spikes that still “looks like a golf shoe”?

Louis’ Double Eagle on #4 was even better than Tiger’s chip on #16 4-5 years ago.

I was glad to see Phil Mickelson wearing shirts with sleeves that seem to fit.

I was pulling for Phil but am fine with Bubba Watson winning.  Bubba is very likable.  Needs a haircut for sure, but very likable.  The little guy, Louis, from South Africa was also very appealing.  There was a time 20+ years ago when I pulled against “foreigners”.  I no longer make that distinction.  I don’t harbor a visceral dislike for Tiger nor any sympathy for him.

Golf is in noticeable decline both as a participant and spectator sport.  I could discourse on the various reasons why but I won’t.  To every thing there is a season.   Golf’s time as a significant major sport is behind it….. but Sunday @ The Masters is still very special.


Ten days ago I saw a blurb on that Bobby Petrino had been involved in a motorcycle accident but “details were sketchy”.  I immediately thought “there is a nubile gal not named Mrs Petrino involved”.  When the details were emerging I mentioned the basics to Blondie.  She immediately said “…. a frisky little cheerleader involved?”.   Close enough.  This stuff ain’t that difficult to figure out folks.

Bobby Petrino has a well-documented history of bald-faced pathological lying going back ten years at Louisville, the Falcons and now at Arkansas.  Arkansas hired him, after The Butcher of Kenan turned them down, knowing he, Petrino, is a lying rascal.  Both UNC and Arkansas lost on that decision.

Arkansas and West Virginia are separated by most of the alphabet but united by in-bred Deliverance-type reputations.  Neither state’s “flagship” university has ever claimed to be “The Harvard of” anything.  West Virginia worshipped another lyin’ scoundrel named Rich Rodriquez until he up and lied to them.  Duh.  Then they hated him, but not before.

Arkansas doesn’t have too much to brag about since Ma & Pa Kettle stopped making movies 50 years ago..  “Soooeee Pig football” is about it.  Petrino has won in recent years.  Bobby Petrino’s alligator tears over his “earlier indiscretion” is pure crap.  Like an infamous former Arkansas governor, Bobby’s remorse came the moment he got caught, not a second before.  A “wayward Johnson” must be a badge of honor in Arkansas.

If Arkansas does fire Petrino, the AD and Chanc better be prepared for the death theats from the sickos.  Another recent “tradition like no other” in sports.

He had the gall to put his little blond bimbo in a dopey “recruit-coordinator” position on the football staff.  Even Butch wasn’t THAT stoopid.   If Wuffs want to snort that Butch hired Jennifer The Tutor and ”that” is equal to what Petrino did, I caution Wuffs don’t go there.   Another prominent (former) SEC Head Coach getting into trouble with a young gal that ain’t his wife will come up.  That won’t end well for Wuffs and their most recent messianic mentor.  Let’s move on…..

High profile college coaches and nubile bimbettes is an oft-sung song.  Men on power pedestals and impressionable young girls who worship them is a formula for carnal mischief that goes back to Greek and Roman mythology.  Nothing new about “bimbo eruptions”.

In any “real world” Petrino would be fired immediately for his lying as well as his contemptible behavior.  In any sort of “real world” neither Uncle Julius N’yangoro, nor Butch, would be cashing UNC paychecks.  There is nothing “real” about the world of big-time college sports.  Except that it is REAL(ly) scummy and getting scummier by the hour..

I bet Bobby Petrino survives and will be coaching Arkansas this Fall.   Neither Arkansas, or Petrino, is worried about damaging its reputation.

Of these two traditions, I like The Masters best.


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