Rimshots 02/09/12

February09/ 2012

The Year of Eli & Tim
…… Roger Goodell is one lucky fellow.  Thru absolutely no fault of his own, “his league” gets to have two squeaky clean poster boys – Eli & Tim.  Ya reckon David Stern is envious just a tad?  Sure, Roger has to tweak his niche marketing to the NFL’s angry atheist fan faction but there are plenty of worthy examples he can provide them.
The NAACP thru one of its various raging reverends is gearing up to file suit against Archie Manning for not siring any black sons.  Who didn’t see that coming?

The Rapid Evolution of Idiocy
….. recall just 2-3 years ago when angry disappointed fans created fireso&so.com websites – and we thought THAT was pretty severe.  We hadn’t seen nuthin’ yet.  During the recent NFL Playoffs it became commonplace for players & coaches of losing teams to receive e-DEATH THREATS.  Lots of them sent to Brady, Welker and Belichek.   Just a handful of nutz you say.  How many nutz does it take to kill one player or coach?

Butch(er) Honors Baddour
…… A number of you have expressed shock that Butch(er) and Mrs Butch(er) attended the recent Gaggy Good-by Glorification of Dickie.  “Didn’t Dickie fire Butch?”
NO.  Dickie had zilch to do with Butch(er) being fired.  Through three years of extreme naivete and being totally intimidated, Dickie was a clueless co-conspirator in Butch’s Kenan Krime spree from Day One.   Dickie was “fired” at that same July press conference when Butch was zapped.  Not by coincidence.
Had UNC poobahs acknowledged Dickie’s TOTAL lack of administrative oversight, their own lack of oversight over Dickie would have been laid bare; ergo buy off Dickie with bling. ….. sigh, sob.

UNC Womens BB ???
…… Sylvia Hatchell is a nice Christian lady.  Since getting a 100% salary bump 3-4 years ago and a multi-million dollar upfit of her own personal home court, her teams have suffered annual 40+ point clobberings by “the elite” programs in Women’s Basketball.  There have been two such mega-clobberings so far this year – by UConn and by Duke.  Sylvia Hatchell is still a nice Christian lady….. whose contract was extended by Dickie Baddour as he was walking out the door.
My disdain for She Basketball is well documented.  I’d rather watch Eskimos play chess.  But the 1,453 people who do care are probably perplexed.

Speaking of Peyton
…… Colts President Jim Irsay looks like a refugee from The Sopranos?  Could “the son of the man who deserted Baltimore in the middle of the night” look any more unsavory?  That said….. if I were him I would let Peyton go.
I do love “one jersey one career” guys but $25,000,000 for a QB who is one sack away from being a paraplegic is bad business.

About every four years
….. apparently there is always a market for (1) kiddie porn…. (2) stoopid premise reality shows….. and (3) dumb books about Hating Duke.  Two UNC board monkey-types from Cary have written the latest one.  Some other board monkey wrote one 4-5 years ago.  It’s a safe bet more board monkeys will write more books about Hating Duke in another 4-5 years.
I’m not going to give you any more specifics about this latest one because that might result in even one more sale for these goobers.
Who buys this tripe?  Wal-Mart fans….. Frat boys who never grew up….. pimply-faced nerds in Craige….. that scary guy in the elevator last Thursday that smelled like feet.

Looks & Demeanor of
….. He was Head Coach of TWO NFL teams but Eric Mangini has the looks and demeanor of a guy named “Jack” who mans the paint desk at a Lowe’s.

Speaking of UNC Traditions
…… one long-standing UNC tradition is changing.  “Silent Sam will fire his rifle when a virgin walks by” has been updated to – “Silent Sam will fire his rifle when the NCAA hands down its verdict on UNC Football”.

Passed 1,000 miles !!!
…… my Nike+ odometer passed the 1,000 mile mark this week.  I am now at 1006.7 miles trekked and 128 audiobooks reistened to in less than a year.  My goal remains what it always has been – “one more mile…. one more audiobook”.   I did discover a really cool new segment of the local Greenway this week.

This week’s chapelboro column 
…… is a special revised version of Monday’s column on Little Johnny jerking around the ACC schedule.
  If you didn’t read last week’s column on Bubba giving Roy his annual review, you really should.

GrandPa’s Kardashian
….. The world’s most famous one-legged Hungarian turned 95 this week.  She was in her hey-day of the 50s – Granddaddy’s Kardashian – Zsa Zsa Gabor.  Think about it – she and her two sisters who, excepting Green Acres, were simply famous for being “Gabors” and a manipulative stage mother.  Alas, there is very little in this world that hasn’t been recycled from previous versions.

It was “a done deal” so
….. I was only paying passing attention to the flat-screen in those final two minutes last night.  This one was surely a W for the home team.  Even when we passed the critical “final 14 seconds” mark ya figgered Roy had this one.  Then it all went wrong…. so so very very wrong.
Art Chansky on last night’s game … CLICK


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