Rimshots 01/11/12

January11/ 2012

A No Tebow/No Butch Rimshots.  

Penn State Hires “a John Bunting”
…… I’m sure Bill O’Brian is a fine fellow who knows football.  I’m sure Bill can analyze film, diagram plays, blow a whistle and knows the fundamentals of blocking, tackling and the cover 2 defense… but the man stepping into the minefield of Penn State football has zip, zero Head Coach experience.  (yes, John had at least a modicum.)   A Head Coach at a major school is first-foremost a CEO managing managers.  “Managing managers” is different from breaking down film and orchestrating grass drills on a practice field.  The mess at Penn State is 50X more so.

Bill O’Brian will fail.  The people who hired him are either incompetent or intend for him to fail.

Tough Mudders
…… a friend told me about ToughMudder – the latest fitness adventure series.  It is a 10-12 mile boot camp obstacle course.  An evolution of Triathalons that tests tenacity more so than a high degree of cardio endurance.  ToughMudder events are being scheduled around the country.   Participants must sign “a death waiver”!  Oh to be 40 again.  Check it out – www.toughmudder.com

Did Ray Nitschke ever
….. Football is football but clichés change over time.  Did Ray Nitschke ever have “a high ankle sprain”?  Could Dick “Night Train” Lane “tackle in space”.  How would Otto Graham attack “a cover 2”?   Do you give the ball to Alan “The Horse” Ameche in “the red zone”?  Did Vince Lombardi put a play sheet over his mouth when he talked to his coordinator in the press box?    On that last one – Lombardi did not have (1) a laminated play sheet, (2) a head set, or (3) a coordinator in the press box.

Seasonal records fallacy
….. The fallacy of most wins ever and any seasonal records not based on a per game average.  Simply playing more games/season discounts all those aka The Roger Maris Asterisk.   60 HRs in 162 games is not 60 in 154 games.   THE best running back in NFL history is Jim Brown PERIOD.   He set all the seasonal standards in a NINE GAME season.  Gaining 1,000 yards in one season means something in 9 games.  It means much less in 16 games.   These schools celebrating “so many wins in a season” are doing so by playing 12-13-14 game seasons.  In “the old days” teams played, at most, 11 games.  Big difference.

In A Post BCS beatdown world
…… Now will the extent of rampant thuggery within the LSU FB program percolate to the surface?   Baton Rogue authorities are notorious for their laissez faire approach to LSU Tiger miscreancy.  The pre-season gangsta crap involving the QB being a classic example.  Thugs are “just boys being boys” when times are good; but thugs are thugs when times are not so good.

Another Tide Devastates Nawlins
….. The last “tide” to so devastate Nawlins was caused by Katrina.  Ergo, the Obamic White House is claiming George Bush was coaching the LSU offensive line.  And BP officials were somehow involved too.  The AFL-CIO and NAACP are sending “occupiers” to the Superdome.  Sean Penn and Brad Pitt are enroute.

Do Loonies Attract Loonies?
….. I have a goodly number of friends who are avid NC State fans.  Not a one of them is anywhere close to obnoxious.  I’m sure there are some; but not in the social and professional orbits that I move in.
My Wuff-pals are longtime season ticket holders well steeped in Brickyard lore; hardly casual fans.  They have passionate opinions about coaches, players and admins and they much prefer winning to any alternative.  They “care” but are not paranoid knucklehead lunatic goobers about it.
I read over-the-top absurd posts on media comment boards that play to the stereotype of the partisan lunatic goggle-eyed goobers; but I don’t personally “know anyone” like these knuckleheads.   I roll my eyes asking rhetorically “who ARE those people?”  Not the sort of folks I encounter in my daily comings and goings.
When I get reports of “that kind of fan” I wonder if those encountering “those people” are themselves the obnoxious UNC fans that I hear about.   Are knucklehead fans magnets for other knuckleheads?   The “birds of a feather” theory that obnoxious jackass fans attract one another.  I have encountered some UNC fans that certainly play to their obnoxious stereotype, but I selectively avoid that ilk.  Knucklehead fans universally “hate Caulton Tudor”.  I don’t hate Toots.
Unless one is mired in a Living Hell of a workplace or cul-de-sac it is relatively easy to avoid jackass knuckleheads simply by not being a jackass knucklehead yourself.   Works for me.   I apply this same theory re: politics but THAT requires somewhat more finesse.

Can You Name 3
….. Quick, can you name 3 current San Francisco 49ers?  This weekend you will watch them play Drew’s Saints.   Under Jim Harbaugh the 49ers are the Cinderella team of this season, but due to geographical restraints I bet you can’t name 3 current 49er players.  If you can, we will move on to San Diego Padres, Sacramento Kings and, in the championship round – The Minnesota Wild.  Do you even know there IS a Minnesota Wild?

A New State Motto for Alabama ?
……. With three consecutive BCS titles – Alabama can lay claim to a new state motto – The Home of Football Champions.  That replaces the previous one: ….  Alabama: We Keep Georgia from touching Mississippi

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