RIMSHOTS: Thurs; Dec 15

December14/ 2011

Injuries In Football
…… The obvious increases in injuries in college/NFL football is simple physics.  The combatants keep getting bigger, faster, stronger thru various advances in training; BUT their knees, shoulders, heads et al remain vulnerable.  Ligaments and bones don’t get stronger but are more and more at risk to greater masses moving at greater speeds.

UNC Faculty Four Making Noise
….. a small group – UNC Faculty Four – led by “a History prof named Jay Smith” are stirring up a fuss over too much emphasis on athletics.  This will, of course, bring MadMonkeys to a raging boil.  Guaranteeing – BOTH SIDES will say stoopid crap and call each other a lot of names.  Look for a hair-on-fire ambulance-chaser from “the low country” to lead the screeching monkeys this time around. …. Don’t confuse this yahoo with that very mad doc from Lake Norman writing the Furthermore letters.

Chris Paul traded for
….. Say it ain’t so!  Chris Paul traded to the Clippers for “the Ware Brothers” and Myron Piggie ?????

Crock Pot Christmas
…… As a general rule I don’t care for cold weather (at least what we call “cold” in this latitude) but winter and Christmas brings one special joy to our home – “crock pot cooking”.  I could survive with a big bowl and a spoon and ready access to something simmering in a crock pot.  Blondie is trying new stew/soup recipes.  They’re all good…. Biscuits, cornbread or garlic bread for sopping and I’m a very contented BobLee.

Bowl Game Ripoffs
….. They’re doing it again.  Bowl game promoters are pulling the sorry seat shuffle on invitee booster clubs AGAIN.  Invited schools are given the Uecker seats to peddle to their naïve fans under the assumption “those dummies are “mikies”.  They will buy anything to support their schools”.   Seats between the 20s are given to assorted sponsor yokels.  A goober in Shreveport buys a new muffler at Mississippi Muffler and gets two freebies “on the 50” while “loyal fan in NC” spends $200 for a coupla nosebleeders in the weeds.
Savvy fans like The Hokies figured this scam out years ago and now buy their ducats on the secondary market from Stubhub or from the bowl website.  The booster club ends up eating their guaranteed allotment for considerable $$$.  Mucho cheaper to buy 100 $25 watches for the entire team and stick a fork in the season.
This is an easily solved issue if the schools joined together against the bowl guys.

Annual Bowl Casualties
….. Another annual bowl tradition is the plethora of suspended and ineligible players.  Semesters end between the regular season and bowl game ergo players planning to “leave early” or out of eligibility stop even the pretense of going to class their last semester and “flunk out” before the bowl.  And then there are the usual “violating unspecified team rules” casualties…. Pay attention and watch how many such stories you read about….  If there was a play-off this would be even a bigger issue.

Gus Malzahn to Arkansas State 
….. Do you recall all the monkey fuss that Gus Malzahn had his Governors Club lot all picked out?  Klunk / Thud ……  Gus is ending up at Arkansas State – “The Harvard Of The Ozarks” ??
And “that Boise State guy” is still “that Boise State guy”.

He lied to dem boys ….”
….. We all recall Mack’s leaving UNC blah blah …. that’s nuthin’ compared to how the Pitt coach skedaddled to ArizState yesterday.  He had “an aide” “text” his adios to his players.  He had been at Pitt less than a year.  FACTOID: That coach – Todd Graham – had coached for Bubba at Tulsa.

Interim Ev to TeamUrban
….. The Interim One is headed to The Horseshoe.  Other than “the game ball goof” and “the flagship foul-up”, he did a fine job keeping UNC football afloat during its Purgatory Season.   Working for Urban The Buckeye is a nice reward for Ev.

A Dave Robicheaux good’un!
….. Enjoyed an especially good Dave Robicheaux Cajun crime story – In The Electric Mist With Confederate Dead.  James Lee Burke’s Louisiana lawman stories are top-notch.   Check’em out.

Carl Hiaasen is certifiably weird
….. All readers of gonzo-fiction are familar with novelist Carl Hiaasen.  Reistening to “a Carl Hiaasen” is even more bizarre than reading one of’em.  I’m just finishing Double Whammy.

Time Magazine did what?
….. Time Magazine selected “Protestors” as its Things Of The Year.  Time Magazine, The Today Show and leisure suits are three former cultural icons I haven’t thought about in years.

Lost my rear end
…… Of the dozen or so vehicles I have owned, “losing my rear end” last week was a first.  When Kris Humphries and Marc Anthony “lost their rear ends” (Kim Kardashian and J-Lo) it was even more expensive than mine will be.  I was reflecting on my various vehicles recently.  Most of the makes/models I’ve owned are not even made any more – Nash Rambler, Ford Falcon, Plymouth Valiant, Oldsmobile Cutlass….. With a new “differential” I suspect my F-150 might outlive me.

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