Weekend At Bernies w/ $1,000 sunglasses

September04/ 2011

A Carolina Panthers player’s apartment was burglarized recently.  Among the items reported stolen were a $1,000 pair of Versace (Vuitton?) sunglasses.  Maybe the guy was scamming his insurance company;…. but $1,000 pair of designer sunglasses!  THAT would make a Kardashian blink.

Week One of Color, Pageantry & Scandal 2011:  BobLee reflects.

I’m a Free Market Guy.  How guys spend their money is their business.  Frivolous consumption is subjective.  One man’s caviar is another man’s bread & butter.  Who am I to judge?  But a $1,000 pair of designer sunglasses merits a Sa-LUTE on the hoot-ometer.

I buy $20 sunglasses and $50 wristwatches.   Such accoutrements are not high on my “I want – I gotta have” scale.   If one pays $1,000 for sunglasses does one leave the price tag dangling like Minnie Pearl did with her straw hats?   Do they come with Lo-Jack so police can track them down if lost/stolen?  Are they made from airplane “black box” material so they are indestructible?

If a lowly Panther wears $1,000 shades, what do Green Bay Packers or New England Patriots wear?  The mind reels.


Blondie and I were amid Kenan’s lofty pines for the successful inauguration of The Withers Era.  It went considerably better than William Henry Harrison’s inauguration.

As readers will recall, I did not renew my season tickets this season.  It was my personal protest over The Sgt Schultz’ Mess.  When Sgt Schultz was dishonorably discharged from UNC, it was too late to get decent seats.  Fortunately, as a renown Internet Legend I am in some demand as a GameDay Guest so Kenan entry is never a problem.  Neither is it for a certain former coach.  We’ll discuss that in a minute.

We enjoyed “two on the 45” on Row II – Primo.  It was an afternoon kick-off and our seats were on the North Side so we baked amid the aroma of Coppertone.  The most pleasant hospitality of our gracious hostess overcame the harshness of the conditions.

We arrived early to witness any knuckleheaded hooligans attempting to further embarrass “the flagship” with Holden-Hate crap.  Other than 3-4 “I Support Butch” t-shirts we saw no jackassity.  Warnings of a flying banner uncomplimentary to The Chancellor were untrue.  I did not see Uncle Julius gallivanting about.

We did engage in people-watching.  Without a doubt coeds are much younger than prior years.  That odd coed fashion of cowboy boots & knee-length skirts is still popular apparently.  Go figger!  Undergrads were scurrying about being undergrads …. old alums were being old alums ….. WalMarters were hoping no one would ask what class they were.   Not too worry – the cheap mesh caps were a give-away.

 The Blue Zone (BZ) is the $70,000,000 new elephant in the stadium.  It’s certainly big and it’s “there”.    Since its “there” lets enjoy it, which for most fans will involve endless jokes about why ANYONE would pay 3-4X more for seats in the End Zone in order to have a glass of wine.  50% of the BZ seats were empty but Blue Zoners could be seen huddled in the a/c comfort of the BZ lobby area.

For an institution that prides itself as sooooo concerned about 3rd world countries and global hunger and poverty; the mere existence of such a monument to conspicuous over-indulgence is a bona-fide Yeeee Haaaa.  Again, I’m a free market guy so I’m fine with however folks spend their money….. but I’m just saying what others are thinking.

UNCNCState and Duke all started off with “small college” opponents.  Duke shoulda scheduied Martin Middle School.  Any Iron Dukes holding hotel reservations in Miami for The Orange Bowl – you can release’em.  David Cutcliffe will not be causing anyone to forget Wallace Wade any time soon.

Whether UNC or State was more impressive will be argued by each school’s bottom-feeders until next Saturday.  It is irrelevant as are most such debates.

Of the two neighboring rivals, UNC was the only one to vote a game ball to Butch Davis.  Yes, Sgt Schultz was “in the house” no doubt cheek-by-jowl with BOTBob and Cronies.  Not in The Chancellor’s Box however.

When I read about the Win One For Butch The Gipper game ball silliness I immediately thought of Weekend At Bernies.  How long will they tote Butch’s carcass thru the season?

What’s next?  ,,,, a Howard’s Rock sort of thing using a bronze  Sgt Schultz’ helmet the players rub as they exit the tunnel screaming their new yell – “We Know Nuthing”.    Maybe wear those horrid all navy unis in his memory.  Send your suggestions to www.ButchIsGoneGetOverIt.com .

Around the country:  Mark Richt should not buy any green bananas.  His days in Athens are dwindling to under 90.

No echoes were awakened in South Bend as Lou’s boy (and the weather) thumped the Irish.  Somewhere Gary Faust is smiling.  In a small graveyard off campus, Knute Rockne rolled over and said “Who tha hell is South Florida?”

Northwestern beat Boston College.  Does anyone in “that valuable Boston market” know they lost – or care.  97% of the Boston College fan base can’t name their coach.  I can’t.

What’s left of The Big 12 won with Baylor being the most impressive by far.  Their big W over TCU was a humdinger.  Best rumor has Texas and Oklahoma joining Manchester United, Real Madrid and the Peking Ducks to form Conference Earth.

Next Saturday Blondie and I will be with The Moricles high atop BB&T Stadium at The Dixie Classic Fairgrounds in Camel City.   Always a hi-light of our Autumn.  Grobe’s Deacs lost one they shoulda won at Syracuse.  The Marine will bring his Russell-less wolves to town.  Don’t know who will win but I do know who will have a grand time – Blondie & BobLee for sure!

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