Like Two Teenagers In Heat

April08/ 2011

Compared to Debbie Grabs Mark, the Butch hiring fiasco had the thoroughness of a Supreme Court nomination.  McDonald’s vets a new fries frier more thoroughly than either of these multi-million $$ hires.  If Debbie & Mark were teenagers in heat needing to get married in Dillon SC it would take longer than this courtship /marriage.

Gary Williams leapfrogs into 2nd place on Wuffs’ Most Hated list.  Who is #1?  It’s a trick question.

Sometimes mattering just means showing up…  at a sort-of-country church on the outskirts of Durham.


Butch Davis was lured to Chapel Hill by a troika of MegaRams in a Chicago hotel suite on Friday, Nov 3, 2006.  The
vetting process consisted of the three Trustees having a cup of coffee after first meeting Butch and all agreeing he seems like a really nice guy and did you see the size of that Super Bowl ring?  They spent more time picking the wine for dinner than picking the coach.

In the interim, Butch’s (then) agent Marv Demoff assured Butch that Alabama was going to keep Shula’s kid one more year.  The job Butch really wanted was not available so he settled for the $2M bird in hand.  The deal was sealed when Butch allowed BOTBob Winston to wear his Super Bowl ring for five minutes.

Two weeks later Alabama fired Little Shula and gave Nick Saban $4M.  Butch promptly fired Marv Demoff for costing him $2M and hired Jimma Sexton.  Jimma was too late to get his agent’s cut of UNC’s $2M but they worked the Arkansas ransom scam for $250,000 and Jimma got a piece of that.

Four years later all sorts of creepy crawlies are coming out of the woodwork.  But BOTBob was right.  “It’s a mighty purty ring!”

If THAT STORY is a humdinger what kinda “dinger” is The Shotgun Nuptials of Yow & Gottfried?

Both Butch & Mark were “between jobs” when hired.  Both had abruptly left their previous employment mid-season 2+ years earlier.  Both were working in broadcasting …. wink, wink.

I’ve always said, at their core, UNC and NCState fans are essentially the same.  I’m not so sure any more.   State fans emote an intense Love Hate for their key athletic people.  No middle ground.  Love or Hate.  Like the drug-addled villagers in The Man Who Would Be King.  I guess that is an admirable quality.  It sure makes them a lot of fun to write about.   

Employing an old Bob Newhart schtick, I imagine the whirlwind courtship went something like this ….

MG:  Mark.
DY:   Hi Mike, this is Debbie Yow.
MG:  The name is Mark, nor Mike. Debbie who?
DY:   Debbie Yow.  
MG:  That redhead at the bar last night?
DY:   No, the Women’s Coach @ ORU in ’83.
MG:  If you say so. 
DY:   Now I’m AD at NC State. I need a coach.
You need a job.

MG:  I’ve got a job with ESPN.
DY:   I can pay you $1.2M / 5 years.
MG:  OK, I’ll take it.
What’s the name of your school again?

DY:   NC State … Jim Valvano … Chuck Nevitt.
MG:  Oh, right.  In Charlotte…
DY:   No, in Raleigh.
MG:  Whatever.
DY:   Mark, are there any skeletons in your
closet I should know about?

MG:  Debbie, are there any in your closet
I should know about?

DY:   Touche.  Forget I asked.
Can you be here by 5:00 today?

MG:  Sure, why not. One question.
Suppose I had said no?

DY:   I would ask you for Dino Gaudio’s cell #.

Lets give Frau Debbie credit.  She did tell Mark who the main rivals are.  After four years, Butch still hasn’t figured that out.  Another exciting chapter in NC State Basketball begins.

What about Gary Williams leapfrogging to #2 Most Hated?   #1 Most Hated By Wuffs is actually a 3-way tie – Todd Turner, Lee Fowler and Former N&O Editor Claude Sitton.  Pete Golenbock is #4 after former referee Jim Knight.  The % of error depends on the age of the angry wuff you are asking.

Q: What do the following have in common: Sidney Lowe, Matt Doherty, John Bunting, Chuck Amato, Al Groh, & Mike (oops) Mark Gottfried?

A:  All six were prodigal son Head Coaches hired/fired by their alma maters. Ouch!


More “mattering”:  As a writer by trade I have an extra vehicle for retaining thoughts than most people.  Concepts, ideas, profundities and flaming BS magically pop up on a monitor.  When I jokingly say “but a humble vessel” I mean it.   That’s been the case lately.

Is all of Life column fodder and show prep?  Is “what it is” sometimes all that it is?  Probably.

Last week I went to two church fundraisers in Durham.  One was my annual visit to a fish fry at Mac’s 9th St mission church.  The other was a “country ham & egger” at Beth’s sort-of-country church on the outskirts of Durham.  Mac & Beth have been on board for this ride pretty much from the beginning – almost 1,500 incredibly insightful (!!) columns.    Their encouragements has “mattered a lot” to me over these 10+ years.

I could have begged out of either invite with no consequences …. except I would have missed out on “mattering”.  Whatever else I would have done with those few hours would not have “mattered” as much.

My $6-$7 for the meals resulted in a net profit of a few dollars for the respective  ministries.   I could have mailed in donations of $10 if that was what “mattered”.  It wasn’t.

Walk into a building you have never been anywhere near in your life.  Walk up to two ladies at a card table and have them smile up at you and say “You’re BobLee aren’t you? We’re so glad you’re here !!”   I wasn’t wearing my monogrammed BobLee leather bomber jacket or BL ballcap.  Roy and Mike would warn me that such public recognition can be hazardous.

I have no illusions of my pseudo-faux-celebrity status.  Blondie and Kid don’t even read my columns unless I insist.  Then they pretend they did.

Mac and Beth and the two nice ladies at a card table in a sort-of-country church on the outskirts of Durham were sincerely glad I came to their events … and so was I.   It’s been said that 90% of doing one’s job is simply showing up.  It’s the same with “mattering”.


Favorite Italian Proverb:
The mother of idiots is always pregnant.
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