Resurrection of Roy / Charlie Thumps Muhammar

March07/ 2011

Did Ol’ Roy get a lot smarter since he slogged out of Alexander Coliseum like Napoleon leaving Russia?  Nope same Ol’ Roy but his life got mucho simplified.  Roy is a simplify-kind-of-guy. …. Wherever you get your daily news, you’ve been “Sheened” for the past week.  America’s fascination with the overtly vapid balloons to new depths.  Can Charlie Dates A Kardashian be far away?

Ol’ Roy hasn’t been “a happy Roy” since he returned triumphant from Detroit’s Ford Field two years ago.  Some clueless Caro-loon blurted “when you gonna do it again, Roy?”  With Ring #1 it was “but it wasn’t with your recruits.”  With Ring #2 it was “yeah but K has lots more ….”

Roy now knows trying to please the great unwashed is solitaire with a deck of 51 – it will never happen.  Nitwit fans are like dealing with an Alzheimers parent.   Nothing good about it; just big boy up and keep on keeping on.

Roy had to totally retool post-Detroit.  As tough luck would have it he stepped in a mess o’ helicopter parents plus the Will Graves saga.  Roy isn’t wired for sagas or helicopter parents.  Then he hurt his shoulder to ratchet up his toothache year.

For those of you who pay attention outside a partisan bubble, Tom Izzo at Michigan State is having a Roy Last Year year.  Did Tom forget how to win 80% of his games?  No, he simply blew a couple of tires and threw a rod.  It happens.

Watch Calipari at UK with this year’s recruiting.  He will recruit on top of his current freshmen and 2-3 will transfer out.  Same at KU.  Same at tOSU.  Transferring is at an all-time high in Div 1 BB and will only get higher.  See NEWSFLASH above for proof.

I noted in an update to the last column.  Mamma Drew is unanimous MVP for this year’s UNC BB program.  If

Mamma Drew is UNC MVP!

she had not yanked whats-his-name out of town when she did, the team would have stumbled along with an impacted point guard and locker room pariah.  However ORW had doled out PT it would have been “leveling a three-legged stool”.  Thank you Mamma Drew for being you.

Boy Drew takes shots at UNC in his birthday rap at LA’s Conga Room.  No word if Wears Twins were on hand.

With The Wear and Drew Families now both out of Roy’s hair he has his kind of youngsters …. Ol’ Roy’s 18 months of misery are officially over.  Regardless of how long he dances, the ship is righted.  Worries about early-outs are left to the hairshirt bunch for whom it is a way-of-life.    

Phyllis George attended the Duke game at TDD.  Her daughter is a UNC coed.  I heard a few reports of diva-itis by the Erin Andrews of the 70s.  Based on a couple of quick camera shots, Phyllis could be Tami Hansbrough’s slightly older sister.  Speaking of Hansbrough, I guess Doc Gene is wearing Fighting Irish colors these days.

Has Roy’s Resurrection rekindled my overall interest in college basketball?  No, not at all.  My fascination with “what makes Roy tick” has always been keen.

When will Deathwatch On The Brickyard officially begin? Miami Heat coach Eric Spoelstra is NOT on Madame Yow’s short list.


Imagine being Libyan Strongman Muhammar Quaddafi.  You’re all set to blow yourself and 10,000 square miles of sand to smithereens; guaranteeing first ballot selection to the Insane Dictator Hall of Fame joining Nero, Xerxes and Idi Amin

No two people on the planet spell your name the same way but what the heck you might even become a verb.  “To Quaddafi” could be like “to Nifong”.   Then along comes Charlie freakin’ Sheen .…. pushing Muhammar to page two in every media on the planet.  Even the Tripoli Gazette & Picayune had Charlie above-the-fold.

I mean REALLY – Charlie freakin’ Sheen.  Best line I’ve read re: The Week of Sheen has to be “when Gary Busey is giving you advice, you know you’re in trouble”.

Gary had a nasty motorcycle accident and was not wearing a helmet.  His brain got scrambled enough to earn a tenured professorship at UNC.

My Gary Busey True Story:  The Jimmy V Golf Classic 6-7 years back.  Busey was a celeb player.  I was standing with Pam Valvano and a few others.  Busey ambles up and tells Pam “I spoke with Jim last week.  He is doing fine and sends his love ….”  We all just stared.  Gary Busey apparently gets that reaction from folks.  He is now offering his advice to Charlie Sheen.

I’m not sure what it says about the human race that Charlie Sheen’s insane rants are dominating global journalism.  I am sure it’s a Sign of The Apocalypse …. around #5 or #6 depending on how you interpret “rivers of blood”.


Trash TV Update:  Real Housewives of Miami is not quite as vintage kitty litter as RH of Beverly Hills but with Two NBA wives it has potential.   The other Bravo Channel must-see is Millionaire Listings which follows three young LA real estate slicks.  The scenery is great and the houses are fabulous.  All the people are off-the-chart bizarre.

Best new show may be America’s Next Great Restaurant.  This is Shark Tank for Col. Sanders wanna-bees convinced we need more “wings joints”.  Bobby Flay and the Chipotle guy are two of the judges.

One of the ten finalists is a couple whose format is Southern Redneck Crap Served In Small Portions ….. essentially Nouvelle Cuisine Meets Waffle House.  Bobby suggested they reconsider the name but keep the banana pecan puddin’ drizzled in grits.

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