January17/ 2011

WWORD – What Will Ol Roy Do ??  You think you got “issues” in your job?  Imagine you are Holden Thorp’s in-box. You’ve got a quart of budget funds to pay a gallon of unpaid bills ….. Your clueless FB coach is in cahoots with your Board of TrustFundBabies …… You have to pick which several 100s faculty and staff to lay off next  …. and now ….. Your Hall of Fame Basketball coach is under a Code Blue Go Nutz Watch.


NOTE:  Looking for “…key to the gym” …. CLICK HERE!  

Tuesday night Clemson continued 0 For Orange County for the 55th time.   Eventually the streak will end.  It didn’t this year.  Thats all that matters for right now.  Beating Clemson, notwithstanding, the Official Roy Goes Crackers Watch will be in effect all season.  Maybe forever.  Like Forrest’s box o’ chocolates – ya never know what you gonna get from one game to the next.

Is there a revenue-generating opportunity in WWORD bracelets.   What Would Jesus Do bracelets were a popular item a few years ago.  Clay-footed Christians would use their WWJD bracelets when situational ethics entered their personal options.  These were Jiminy Crickets sitting on Pinocchio’s shoulder since Geppetto forgot to include a conscience in his wooden boy.

Roy’s Geppetto shoulda included a pressure release valve in UNC’s irascible hoops mentor.   Roy using his pie-hole as his release valve could provide some awesome “He Said WHAT?” moments in the days and weeks to come.   Great fun for those not a part of UNC Athletics.   Frightening for anyone who is.

Ol’ Roy treats his own fan base with the snarly attitude that liberals treat Tea Partiers.  That offers some interesting possibilities if he wigs out. NOTE: Roy blasted UNC fans in his post-game media comments Tuesday.  …..

Roy has, alas, become a Gallagher concert.  You know, before its over, he is going to make a mess …. someone else will have to clean up.


A nationally prominent basketball program is NOT a UNC fan’s birthright any more than is a bowl of cheese at The Rat. The Rat shut down 4-5 years ago because of too many rats.  It might re-open soon ….. and UNC basketball might rebound from 15 months of free-fall into the depths of mediocrity.  But neither “re” (open or bound) is guaranteed.


Last week saw two narrow bullet-dodges with Virginia-based teams and then Sunday’s night butt-whuppin’ in Atlanta.   The Peachtree Massacre bought a much-maligned Paul Hewitt another few weeks of employment but did nothing for Roy’s blood pressure.  If Paul could schedule Roy 20 times/year he would dance every April.  Paul now owns Roy like TO’B owns you-know-who.  Fifty more and we become GaTech’s Clemson.

Last year’s NIT runner-ups (ouch!) lost The Wares for reasons still not known and Will Graves for reasons pretty well-known.  They were replaced by Harrison Barnes and some other kids.  UNC fans hopes soared back into those legendary rafters.  Soaring basketball hopes can be as dangerous as surfacing too fast for a scuba diver.  The “bends” are nasty.

The polite young Iowan is not The Next Michael.  He may not be The Next Capel Brother.  He is a really nice young man who has not done anything Jordan-esque yet.   It should be noted that Harrison Barnes did not have a vote in those pre-season All American projections.
Who can prevent Roy Going Crackers?  Dickie?  Bwaha… hahaha.  Dickie Baddour does possess administrative skills often under-appreciated by observers of UNC Athletics.  Telling Ol’ Roy “don’t do it” ain’t in Dickie’s skill set.


Expecting Dickie Baddour to calm down Ol’ Roy would be like inserting Bill Buckner for defensive purposes.
Dean Smith, sigh, is well beyond intervening on any level.

We learned this Fall the UNC BOT are invertebrate silver spoon trust fund babies who think birthrights are just fine.   Being entitled is their life stories.  Don’t expect a responsible adult response from them.  Confronting Rabid Roy would be as distasteful for the UNC BOTFB as the thought of estate taxes.


That leaves Chancellor Holden Thorp alone to muzzle Roy if / when he goes rabid and bites the head off of a live mic.  I KNOW Holden can do it.  Holden may not know it but I do.  Holden could have resolved The Great Unpleasantness if he had been allowed to …. which he was not.


As this inevitable Next Unpleasantness clicks down to single digits – 00:10 …. 00:09 …. 00:08 …..  bomb squad volunteers will be few.  Red wire ??? Green wire ???   Which one to cut? ….. 00:07 ….. 00:06 …..  I’m betting on the young executive administrator from Fayetteville. I tell ya – Holden’s got sand in his gizzard.


It still could get really really messy …. or hilarious depending upon your partisan position.


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