A Majority of One

January08/ 2011

What were your first thoughts when you heard about the Arizona shooting? Mine were “Oh boy! Here come the blow-dried nabobs and cyber squirrels ……”

The reverberation of the first shot had not faded into the Sonoran Desert when no less an absolute authority than Jane Fonda cemented the blame squarely on Sarah Palin. It’s pretty hard to top Hanoi Jane Fonda for abject pseudo-intellectual effete nuttery but The Great American Internet Mob is not easily dissuaded …… no sirree boblee!

For The Record: The Ballad of Cat Ballou was the last time I had any appreciation whatsoever for Jane Fonda.

Folks, I don’t know this insane sack of skin (I mean the Arizona nutjob not Jane Fonda although I don’t know Jane either) but I do know The Great American Internet Mob. I can predict the knee-jerking of the modem-armed herd of goggle-eyed spittle-spewing lemming with the certainty of a Mayan astronomer circling his doomsday calendar.

Liberal knee-jerks are more predictable than a Nova Scotia tide table.

As the post-Tucson Safeway shooting timeline moved to hours and now days; it has became “obvious” that:

(NOTE: “Obvious” is THE #1 most trite word on the Internet. The phrase “everyone agrees that” is the most over-used phrase.)

The gun wielding nutjob IS obviously:

Sol Alinsky’s cable guy
His name in farsi means “Limbaugh”
Nancy Pelosi’s cabana boy
James Earl Ray’s grandson
Ruppert Murdoch’s love-child
The Anti-Christ (What? It’s not Piper Palin?)
A Muslim imam
An altar boy at Westboro Baptist
The Lost Kardashian
The reason Simon Cowell left American Idol
The 8th dwarf

….. how far is the Safeway from Roswell’s Area 51? Coincidence?

Millions of keyboard geniuses each representing A Majority of One are certain that it is obvious that everyone knows that ____________ . Of course !

A media frenzy has sent the national blood pressure soaring to TILT levels unreached since 9/11 …. or Ft Hood …. or when Bristol Palin reached the finals of DWTS. It will ultimately be up to YOU to decide what/who you choose to believe.

I am a Christian Conservative. I accept the natural ying / yang that those who already possessed a bone-deep dislike for folks like me ratcheted that dislike up a few notches as panic gripped that Safeway parking lot on Saturday. “They” don’t need an excuse but this was an easy one. I’m OK with that.

Do I, in turn, not like “them” very much? I confess that is indeed the case.

Can we all agree (bwahaha!) “hate speech” is any opinion different from whoever is defining “hate speech” at any given moment. Likewise, “Incivility” is the arrogance of anyone to disagree with the definer of “incivility” on any given issue.

Truth thru Media is a nutritiously vapid All-U-Can-Eat Buffet. Pick whatever “Truth” you wish. You will find a version that suits your ideological pallet. Chow down!

Will you be a disciple of Madame Fonda? She will no doubt be joined by similar genius members of the liberal intelligensia – Roseanna Barr, Rosie O’Donnell, Kathy Griffin, Joy Behar and the entire cast of Jersey Shore led by Snookie ….. ?

Will you fall in lock-step with me and my legion of Tea Party terrorists under the mesmerizing spell of talk radio, the Witch of Wassila, and FoxNews’s cadre of leggy blond propagandists?

Whatever your choice …. there are folks in the food court of your local mall who really really resent your choice and you for choosing it.

Or are you smugly confident that you and you alone can filter out all the partisan noise and discern the lone kernel of “truth” from amidst the media bombardment of emotionally driven effluent.

The odds are better of you winning The Lottery with a single ticket.

My Prediction: Despite all the media-frenzy over this incident right now (first 72 hours) it will die out incredibly quickly (7-10 days max) …. BECAUSE the shooter is NOT linkable to “the evil right-wing / Sarah Palin”. That won’t deter the most Extreme Left – nothing ever deters that bunch – but the drive-by networks will bury this a lot quicker than you might imagine. Remember, you heard it here!

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