They Stomped That Sucka Flat ….

December07/ 2010

It’s a paraphrase of a Lewis Grizzard book title, but appropriate for the controversial (ya think!) decision by The NCAA known as The Cam Scam.  A lotta folks are bent out of shape over it.  None of those folks have rolled Toomer’s Corner or know that Shug’s last name is spelled J-O-R-D-A-N but pronounced Jerdan.

The NCAA is flat out admitting that Big Time College Football is dirtier than the back of your refrigerator and smells worse than limburger cheese and dirty sweat socks.  The Fat Cat scallywags are so far ahead of the bumbling bureaucrats that The NCAA has removed all doubt by ripping a few 100 pages out of The NCAA rulebook that no one ever bothered to read any way.

Buying a supertstar is “OK” if he is really, really good and Cam Newton IS really, really good.  Easily worth a new roof on Daddy Newton’s church.  A scheming preacha man with a new roof on his tabernacle and a newly triving trucking bidness on the side.  Praise the Lawd and pass the unmarked Benjamins.

Cam Newton is to college football what Lebron James is to basketball.  He is a pure freak of prodigious talent at 6’6” and 250 lbs with unbelievable athletic skills.  Depriving college football fans of watching him perform would be as criminal as all the sordid stuff Cam, Daddy Newton and assorted uncles, cuzzins, street agents and “recruiters” have been perpetrating for the past two years …. or longer.

The only difference between Cam Newton and lots and lots and lots of other “blue-chippers” at the other Top 25+ programs is that someone squealed on Cam.  “Squealing on rivals” is a revenue sport in the SEC.  Not all the accusations are legit but at the end of the day the amount o’ crap they get away with is far greater than the crap they get falsely accused of.

The only difference between the SEC and the other BCS conferences is the SEC prides itself on what they get away with.  “If you ain’t 

It ain’t cheatin’ unless they catch us …

cheatin’, you don’t wanna win bad enuff ….”  From the mangroves of Florida to the bayous of Louisiana ….. “it ain’t really cheatin’ unless they catch us.”

Before BOTBob & Butch declared UNC “a serious football school”, UNC prided itself on Rhodes Scholars and lofty academic rankings.  “Serious football schools” pride themselves on how many student-athletes are “awaiting trial” and “how much its gonna cost us to get that kid from Valdosta that runs a 4.3?”   

With Cam Scam, The NCAA finally just grabbed its ankles and said “ahhh what the hell…”.  Kindly Ol’ Bill Friday can squawk all he wants and purists can naively bemoan the loss of innocence.  Squawking and bemoaning gets nuthin’.  But $100,000 will get you a coupla good cover corners.

In the “good ol’ days” the going rate was “all the steak and lobster big-un can eat and a skanky coed … plus, of course, a fancy car and a made-up job for dad or “the uncle”.  There is always “an uncle” involved somehow.  How come?

The NCAA is the most ineffective joke of an bureaucracy since the French army and the International Olympic Committee tried to build the Tower of Babel.  It is composed of two factions (academicians and coaches) who speak totally different languages, worship totally separate deities and only agree that they have total contempt for one another.

Does Cam Scam make a total mockery of the whole Marvin & Butch & Blake & BOTBob Hullabaloo?  Sure it does.   Does it mean that what went on at UNC was not a bunch of lyin’, cheatin’ and more lyin’?  No, of course it was, but Cam Scam means lyin’ and cheatin’ ain’t nuthin’ if the boys what do it are “playas”.  Hellfire,  Robert Quinn ought to get to keep at least one of those diamond  watches.  That’s the least they could do now.

If Butch would just admit: “Of course I knew what Blake was doing.  Why do you think I hired the guy in the first place?  I knew I could intimidate Dickie and Winston is thrilled to have a sideline pass.  Blowing smoke up their butts was a no-brainer.” …… If Butch would just say that I’d say what the heck and we all just move on.


Great W for Ol’ Roy vs Calipari …. but whatever is gnawing in Roy’s gut is still in there and still gnawing.


R.I.P. – Dandy Don!   The Landry-led Cowboys of The Mid 60s were “my team”.  Meredith laterals to Dan Reeves who hits Bullet Bob sprinting down the sidelines ….. Lance Rentzel and Joey Heatherton …. The Ice Bowl ….. The Doomsday Defense – Willie, Lilly, Jethro & George ….. and that was all BEFORE “The Cheerleaders”.

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