Leroy Jethro Gibbs Is No Butch

BobLee
October05/ 2010

Alas, buddies and babes, we be hopelessly trapped in UNC Football Mess mode for the foreseeable now.  To deny the C-Blue gorilla in the middle of the room is to say “what Cindy Crawford mole?” – “Cyclops only has one eye ? Really, I never noticed.” – or Young Frankenstein’s “What hump?”.

In a perfect world I would comment on ships, sails, sealing wax and less yucky things going bump in the night.  Alas, the Muse of Teapot Tempests demands we linger amid the pines.   Doing so retains the teeming throng of temporary BLSays addicts for another traipze thru the muck and mire of “It’s Tuesday. What does Butch NOT know today?” .  To the non-Butch-obsessed faction of BobLeeNation, I am including a dollop of unrelated commentary.  No need to thank me.  It’s my pleasure. Believe me.

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There are certain folks I do not want to be stuck in an elevator with.  The obvious ones – serial killers, cannibals, Nancy Pelosi, Joe Biden, and that woman who does the Progressive Insurance commercials – lets add Anyone who does NOT like and wish they worked with/for Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

If you DON’T like “Special Agent Gibbs” you came here so you can trash me in some flaming board monkey forum.  That’s OK. I collected $.05 once you clicked in.

Jethro is Mark Harmon’s character in NCIS.  Jethro Gibbs is “that boss you wish you could be” or wish you had worked for.  Jethro defines cool and competent without even trying to be.  He just is.  Jethro Gibbs is to team leader what Dick Baddour is to sacrificial spokes-scapegoat.  Both men were born to their roles.

With NCIS, David Bellisario assembled as fine an ensemble of characters as any TV series in my memory.   NCIS ranks with MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, and WKRP in its perfect blend of characters and actors in their respective roles.

Tony – the wise-cracking frat boy ….. McGee – the lovable compu-geek ….. Ziva – the mysterious and alluring Massod assassinette …. Abby – the eccentric Gothic forensic expert …. Dr “Ducky” Mallard – what happened to Illya Kuryakin after U.N.C.L.E. …. and peripheral members of the troupe …. Director Vance …. Mike …. “Mr. Palmer” ….  Tobias.  Linking them in a simply marvelous fashion Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs – the moody iconclast whose emotional tote bag of quirks and dark closets makes him one of TV’s most enduringly heroic characters EVER.

I won’t explain NCIS any further.  If you are a watcher  (many of you are) you have your character(s) you identify with.  Imposing mine on you would be unfair.  NCIS spun off from JAG and has produced it’s own spin-off – NCIS Los Angeles.  It took me a while to warm to the offspring but I have.  “Hetty” played by Linda Hunt is not Gibbs but her character is very special in its own unique way.

If you are unfamiliar with NCIS but savvy enough to visit this website – you can’t just tune in and figure NCIS out.  Buy earlier seasons DVDs to learn “what  happens in the elevator” and why Mike always calls Gibbs “Proby”.  And what “Proby” means.

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Today’s Episode of 

“ Dickie / Butch Said WHAT !! ” 

I have been called The Smartest / Dumbest / Breath-of-Fresh-Air / No-count SOB / Credible Source / Pariah there’s ever been as regards UNC Sports; I am also an Internet commentator with over 1,400 archived commentaries on the great human mosaic.

My opinions reach you either of three ways – (1) you have asked to be on our distribution list ….. (2) you periodically click this website …. (3) someone has linked this site to you and suggested you read this stuff.   Columnists such as Barry Saunders or Caulton Tudor or Lenox Rawlings or Tom Sorenson or Gregg Doyel or Skip Bayless might “sneak up on you” while you scroll a larger media source.

you are curious about what I think

Not BobLee ….. no reason whatsoever for you to be here other than you are curious about what I think.

I arrive at my awesome insights via a mysterious process of talking with intelligent people I am blessed to know – reading “legitimate news stories” and processing those conversations and accounts thru my extensive personal experiences filter.

My commentaries either confirm (1) how incredibly brilliant I AM because I agree with you  OR (2) how incredibly stoopid I AM because I disagree with you.   There is a 3% chance you might reassess your pre-existing opinion.  A 2% chance that reassessment will alter your pre-existing opinion.  I sleep reasonably well with those parameters.

My original intent was Saving Humanity from itself, specifically Western Civilization.   A decade plus of oft unheeded insights has modified my goal to “finishing this column and then doing another one ….”.   There are two types of columnists.  Those who take themselves VERY seriously and ones “like me”.   I will let the “like me’s” identify themselves.  As columnists we ALL have readers who take themselves VERY seriously.  Especially lately!  YEEE HA!

You receive my sincere opinions on every topic.  I occasionally use broad satire.  If you can’t figure out when you should not be here without adult supervision.

I REPEAT:   IMO Butch Davis will not be UNC’s Head FB coach by The Winter Solstice.  He might be despite my compelling forecast that he will not.  I am an Internet Legend not the University Administrator charged with that decision and its resultant consequences.  God, in His infinite wisdom, set it up this way.  The same God Almighty that created gnats, the McRib and The Kardashians.  Go figure.

YES ….. I’ve read Lee Pace’s piece identifying Butch Davis as Mother Teresa’s long lost son.  Who knew?  Lee is a long time friend.  I respect his opinion.  He respects mine.  He married a quintessential tree-huggin’ Derm Liberal.  I married Blondie – a Right-Wing Fanatic.   Lee and I are both very happy with our quite opposite choices.  He is employed by a UNC media promotion entity.  I am not.

YES ….. I have read the DTH Editorial calling for Butch’s head on a platter.  And Caulton Tudor and Lenox Rawlings calls for the same action.

YES ….. I have read Dickie’s rebuttal to The DTH.  Paraphrased: “By golly, I sure loves me some Butch.  Keeping him as my football coach is yet another masterful personnel decision that is shaping my much-maligned legacy as UNC AD.  Uummm, uummm, I sho do luv my Pale Rider.  He causes a tingle down my short little leg.  Heck, maybe I’ll give him another big ol’ bonus.”   

The same teeming mass of board monkeys adoring Dickie today have “hated his guts” since the day Dean hand-picked Dickie to be AD.  A teeming mass of board monkeys is a particularly unstable support base upon which to balance the Univ of North Carolina’s reputation.  The adults in charge ain’t agonna do dat.

The NCAA won’t buy Butch’s “Sgt Schultz Knew Nuthing” Gambit.  If they did, it would immediately become the gambit de jour for every scallywag coach in America.  The ploy buys Butch and Jimmy Sexton a few weeks and gives me something silly to write about.

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No Way …. It Can’t Be ??:  It be.  Those two dashingly handsome fellas spied Saturday having a chat in the shadow of The Bell Tower were indeed the Not Quite As Popular These Days Young Chancellor and yours truly.  I had alerted Harry Potter prior to posting the Titanic column.  Holden and I chatted for 20 minutes about the unpleasantness.   We chatted …. laughed …. and compared obscene names we are each being called.  He respects my considered opinion and I respect why he is saying the stuff he’s saying (now).  As with Lee Pace, Holden and I can differ without it bruising our friendship.  It’s how emotionally stable adults behave.

Huumm, BobLee snuck in (now).  Is he sending a cryptic message ?  Ya just never know with BobLee.   That boy’s an odd duck.  Quack.

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