Spontaneous Evolution aka “The Toto Factor”

January27/ 2010

.. It is cozily comforting to conclude that EVERY SINGLE event on the planet is a sinister chess move by a combo-cabal of Tri-Lateralists, Neo-Cons, Nit-Wits, Baptists, ACLU, John Swofford, Kris Jenner, George Soros, J.K. Rowling, Rotarians or Lee Fowler.  Mamma Kardashian causing the Indonesian tsunami IS a stretch but plausible until you consider Spontaneous Evolution aka “The Toto Factor”.  Terms you’ve never heard.  I just made them up.

STOP !  Do not run off thinking this is another “far right-wing” polemic rant.  I don’t even know what “polemic” means.  Neither do you.  This is a quite apolitical observation of why those “best laid plans of mice and men do, indeed, go oft aglee ….”   “aglee” might be a synonym for “polemic” but how can I be sure?


Roy2Rings goes to 18 – 1 over his career versus Wolfpack as Heels “wake up the echoes” in Raleigh.  Wherever he is, Dudley Bradley is smiling!  Zigga Zoomba!

Our sources tell us, Dudley Bradley is now a policeman in Edgewood, Maryland.  Oddly, his partner in ACC legend, Clyde Austin, ended up on the opposite side of the law, serving time for a financial flim flam scam.


Observing a lot of “What wasss THATs ??” over the past half century I have concluded that it is these special moments of Spontaneous Evolution that are the fulcrum of the ideological teeter-totter within our culture.  Apple carts are upset, sending all sides back to their respective drawing boards to re-strategize ….. thereby allowing “zen” to simply ebb and flow as nature originally intended.

A new parallel universe immediately replaces the old one we inhabited before the “it” happened. Ergo …. “Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas any more.”

I haven’t formalized my definition of Spontaneous Evolution but basically “something happens” that was totally unanticipated by everyone including Nostradamus and/or Oprah.   It is of significant significance to make our society collectively say “whoa, what just happened?”  ….. like an earthquake, an errant asteroid or the family cat knocking over a flower vase at 3 AM.

You’re riding along in your F-150 listening to EIB and outta nowhere a 10 pt buck goes whammo across your grill, hood and windshield.   You, your truck and that deer spontaneously evolve together.  You bolt upright, snap to attention and realize “I think everything we thought “was” just a moment earlier, suddenly isn’t any more.”  The unexpected severing of an opposable thumb with a cross-cut saw qualifies.

Spontaneous Evolutions can be man-made by a single individual or by a group of nutjobs.  An example of the former would be Nov 1963 in Dealey Plaza in Dallas.   An example of the latter would be 9/11.  I realize some of you are convinced Karl Rove, Ringo Starr, and Thomas “Hollywood” Henderson were co-conspirators with Lee H. Oswald.  If so, then that becomes a latter rather than a former.  It was still a “whoa, what just happened” moment.

You and your spouse are arguing over toothpaste tubes or toilet seats when the phone rings and the authoritative voice of a highway patrolman asks if you are the parents of your child.  That “scrambles your personal Etch-A-Sketch” reordering your priorities.

On a less personal level …… the recent “Kennedy Senate Seat” Flip qualifies.  Two weeks ago what were the pundits and political worry warts all consumed about? …… What are they consumed about now?

In the aftermath of one January day in Massachusetts, the stone carvers at Mount Rushmore have put away their jackhammers and dynamite caps.  That preliminary drawing of “Urkele w/ funnier ears” to fit between Teddy and Abe has been moved to the “we’ll get back to you …. maybe” status.

The same with ….. All those statues of “him” to grace town squares from Maine to Malibu.   All those huge tapestries of “him” to hang outside courthouses.   The songs to “his” praise sung at public events.  The redesign of currency with “his” omniscient visage peering off into the future ever the paternal visionary.   ALL of those lofty plans …… SHELVED because of a Spontaneous Evolution.

What “was” isn’t any more.  What “may be” has not been formalized yet …… albeit furious reformalizing is the order of the day in both The District as well as in every silly gerrymandered district from Waukegan to Walla Walla.

Spontaneous Evolutions are quite non-partisan.  There is no rhyme nor reason to when the next one might occur.   The collective “we” can’t order another one nor stop the next one just because we happen to like the current status quo.  “Liking the status quo” is actually an open invitation for a Spontaneous Evolution.

In reality most of you (without your own websites) don’t have all that much influence on the courses of mighty rivers or planetary alignments.  So glacial melts and snail darter birthrates get prioritized far far below “what’s for dinner?” and “did ya sell anything today?” and “how was school?” and “why doesn’t Deon Thompson ever change his facial expression?” …… until that next Spontaneous Evolution upsets all apple carts.

NOTE:  The verbal commitment of a “blue chipper” to either your school or a rival should never qualify as a Spontaneous Evolution.   If it does, you really should consider “getting a life”.

Watch For A New E-thing

Starting immediately, all BLSays subscribers will be receiving Official BobLee’s Deep Thought e-mails.  This will be a simple e-mail containing one Official Deep Thought.

An Official BobLee

It may be on anything – sports, politics, a movie / book recommend, or just something plagiarized from somewhere else.  A semi-cogent synaptic firing in just a sentence or two – a glorified Tweet!  You will, of course, still receive New Column Alerts when a new engrossing commentary is posted on the website.  All harangues, diatribes and over-the-top rants will stay on the website.

These Deep Thoughts will be sent at random and will, ideally, be an uplifting hi-light of your day. …. or not.

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