We Shall Fight Them In The Shade

May18/ 2007

…. That’s my new favorite quote from Dieneces, right-hand Spartan to Leonidas at Thermopylae.  We bring you up to date on El Tigre …. Backflipping Carl … The Boys of Boshamer …. And, yes, a few words at the bottom about “whatshisname” and that little dust-up over in Derm.

I’m assuming all of you know the basic story of Thermopylae – “The Alamo of Ancient Greece”.  How Leonidas and his 300 Spartans held off Xerxes’ mighty army long enough to inspire his countrymen to ultimately defeat the Persians.

When Xerxes arrived at the pass of Thermopylae he sent a envoy to Leonidas allowing him to surrender to the impossible odds or “our arrows will blot out the sun ”.  To which Dieneces, Leonidas second-in-command replied all the better … for we shall fight them in the shade”.  Stuff like that makes dueling with Shineolas and Lib loonies pretty wussy, huh.

If you don’t know much about Thermopylae I encourage you to google it and read up.  The Persian invasion of Greece almost succeeded, thwarted by the very narrowest of circumstances.  Had Greece fallen, “democracy” as well as so much more of Greek culture would have perished.  The “Founding Fathers” would have had no model to go by.

That “democracy” is being threatened again in 2007 is not unusual.  It has always been under attack from assorted bad guys.  Leonidas and his Greek naval counterpart Themistocles were very rare men.  Such rare men are even “rarerier” today.  The Clintons ??? The Bushs ???  Apple Cheeks ??? bwahahahahaha.

Read up on’em …. Major goosebump stuff.


    OK, many of you watched parts of the US Open this past weekend.  What did you see that has NEVER been seen on the PGA Tour EVER before?  No, it has nothing to do with Tiger relative to having a lead after 54 holes or a guy named “Angel” being the third straight “southern hemisphere” guy to win “our” Open.

What you, nor anyone, had ever seen on the PGA Tour before were BICEPS.  Two of’em in fact.  A pair of mocha guns hanging from a set of cantaloupe deltoids atop cobra lats ….. that called to mind MJ in his prime.

Most of you followed Michael’s career.  Look at his UNC years and even his first 4-5 years in Chicago.  I recall when he lit it up versus Bird and the Celtics …. He was still skinny Michael.  Doing great things for sure but just another 6’6” high flyer.  Then one day you tuned in and WHOA …. It was like Michaelangelo (not Dean, the real one) had taken a block of solid ebony and carved this incredible physique from it ….. that’s how Tiger looks now. ….. like one morning they both cinched their belts four extra notches and their shoulders just blew up!

The parallel between these two “best of the best” in physical comparison to their peers is fascinating.  Just as nobody stood out physically like Michael, certainly NO BODY in golf looks anything like Tiger.

Tiger’s “guns” are like Jan Stephenson’s breasts.  You saw both and thought “these are golfers, what are those things doing on them?” …. (An aside LPGA breast joke …. Someone whose name you would recognize remarked to me recently that if Natalie Gulbis’ breasts get much higher, they will be coming out of her ears.  Think about that if you go to Pine Needles for the LPGA Open.).

One theory is that with Elin now in her final trimester, Tiger is burning off excess energy in his gym.  Whatever.  NOTE:  Elin gave birth to baby daughter “Sam” Alexis Woods on Monday.


   A shout out to BobLee Buddies Jim and Nancy in Columbia MO.  Their backflipping boy Carl Edwards won his first NASCAR Nextel race in two years at Michigan.  Oddly, Carl is also far more physically advanced than his driver buddies.  Carl has the Busch Series pretty well wrapped up but this was a much-needed Nextel win.  Atta Boy Carl Boy!


 Wimbledon is coming up soon.  The Men’s bracket is Federer, Nydal and the roster of the Ottawa Senators.  The Women’s bracket is that Maria girl in the camera commercial, the two black gals and anyone in the WNBA that wants to play.  …. No one ever answered my question about who won the Stanley Cup …. OR named a Cavalier NOT named LeBron.


   Mike Fox’s Boys of Boshamer have a VERY tough road ahead at Rosenblatt now.  Not impossible but with no real “stoppers” on his staff, it’ll take 15 runs a game to avoid that deadly second L.  Anyone even considering taking a cheap shot at “the Boshamer Boys” has to go thru me.  I LUV THOSE MOOCHIES!


    Where do we begin regarding that other “happening” over the weekend …..

   I got a glimpse at the third card Mikey was planning to play at the eleventh hour.  Card #1 was “I’m resigning” …. Card #2 was “disbar me, I deserve it.” …. The heretofore secret Card #3 was “I agree to give up my Duke football season tickets”.  Card #3 would have been as comical and universally ridiculed as were #1 and #2.

Little known trivia nugget:  Mikey was given one “out”.  He could keep his official Derm County DA fountain pen if he could spell “exculpatory” … not define it, just spell it.  Alas, he handed the pen over to authorities at 9 AM Tuesday.

A Zogby poll of everyone on the planet saw Card #1 as the hopelessly incompetent employee “quitting” at 4:45 on Friday before his sorry butt is fired at 4:59.  “You can’t fire me because I just quit.”  Who cares you doughy nitwit.  … you’ve got ten minutes to vacate the premises …. 1, 2, 3, 4, ….. incidentally, Monday night Judge Hudson shortened Mikey’s 30 day notice to RIGHT NOW.

DO NOT feel sorry for Nifong unless you truly subscribe to the “dumb ass defense”.  Which by the way is the OFFICIAL defense now being used by the assorted lawbreakers in the Do-Rag Caucus according to a Democ insider pal of mine.  To quote …. “BobLee, that bunch is just are not all that bright to begin with ….”  I didn’t say that folks …. it came from a Democ’s lips.

Also DO NOT feel sorry for Mikey’s wife.  At some point in this mess I bet a few of you thought “I really feel sorry for his wife and son …. How embarrassing ,…”  Yes, feel all sorts of empathy for his son but NOT his wife.  For one his wife does not even use his name …. She goes by Cy Gurney.  Ya think she saw this coming years ago?  To all you married guys out there …. Who among you has not had “YOU DID WHAT …?” thrown in your face for some hair-brained purchase, investment, piece of clothing, sports car, boat, snooker table you thought “seemed like a good idea at the time”?

Unless you actually did marry an “airhead” elbow ornament (and for sure, Bill, Dr Jimmy, Cliff, Butch, Big Bobby, Brad, Albert and MOI did NOT) you likely have a spouse who speaks her mind when you do something REALLY stoopid.  Cy Gurney had to realize along with 99% of the planet that the DNA results back in mid-April ’06 deep-sixed Mikey’s whizbang primary vote-getter.  She shoulda whomped that witless galoot in the head with a shovel and made him rescind all his ignorant comments.  Sure, he would have immediately been assassinated by some East Derm gang banger but at least he woulda died as some goofy martyr with his law license in tact.  By April 1, the N&O had successfully ratcheted racial hatred well into the red zone.

I have reason to believe that “Frau Nifong” is a pretty far left Carrboro-ite so maybe she was reading the N&O crap and actually thought those arrogant jackasses had it right.

Monday afternoon at 3:45 I alerted the Platinum Pals of the breaking news of the settlement by Duke to the three families.  Out of the 500+ Plat Pals, over 100 e-mailed me within two hours with questions regarding “the gang”.  LOTS of anger still out there towards that dumpster of self-important human debris.  Their opinions individually or collectively redefine “insignificant”

I’m betting a minimum of 1.5 mill per family which meets the best estimates of each family’s legal fees.  It would have been silly for the families to have settled for less.  Duke ponied up about $6,000,000 which is chump change to them.  In normal folks dollars, that was a pretty expensive bus that Brodhead tossed’em under, huh. ….. NOTE:  I have now heard second hand from a Defense Dream Team member that the settlement was indeed “a nice one”.

As regards “The Gang of 88”.  They were not referred to in the settlement press release.  Yes, Duke is ethically liable for those jackasses but legally probably not.  Keep in mind that “the gang” is nothing more than a gaggle of no-prom-date losers harboring a lifelong intense hatred for “normal people”.  They did not give a hoot about “justice for Precious”.  They saw an opportunity to smear three upper middle class nuclear families …. Mainstream Society is like a crucifix to those tenured vampires.

The victimized families will recover …. Mikey will fall off the earth …. Precious the hapless ho will be a Derm fatality stat within 5 years ….. but “The Gang of 88” will still be constipated losers for the rest of their un-natural aberrated lives.  Comeuppenances come in all forms.

I am proposing an annual public listing of their names and addresses so wherever they go their cowardly actions will be remembered and thrown in their faces.  A year from now they hand someone their license to cash a check and the clerk sneers “Aren’t you one of those cowardly duke faculty losers that sucker-punched those Lacrosse kids?”  Never let’em forget.

BobLee, what about all those angry screaming race-baiting meemees in Derm?  Leave’em be.  If Nifong had “Bravehearted” the entire Lacrosse team on March 30 …. Hung’erm, gutted’em and beheaded’em, Victoria Peterson and her bunch of hate-filled racists would have simply screamed for more.  The seeping boil of racial hate in Derm is like a fire in a peet bog …. It will never be extinguished.  Leave’em alone to marinate in their misery.

And OF COURSE …. Our arrogant little friends down yonder on South McDowell Street.  Will they ever apologize?  Nope.  One has to have a conscience to do so.  They saw the phrase “hurled a racial epithet” and with the arrogant myopic prism thru which they view the world, that was all they needed to launch a six-month shock & awe of racial and class hatred on the region. 

As the primary local media source, I hold the N&O responsible for the other national media crap that was generated.  As the N&O poured high octane jet fuel on the situation every day during the first 90 days THEY tried desperately to ignite a full-scale race war.  Only the abject stoopidity of Mike Nifong finally convinced even the most naïve N&O reader that the paper’s agenda was in no way related to the facts of the case.  Arrogance was defeated by Stoopidity …. Ain’t that “justice”!

Governor “Missing Mike” Easley is now tossing out “gunslinger rhetoric” towards Mikey.  The entire legal community in the Western Hemisphere is united in their resolve to cram this nitwit feet-first in to a wood chipper.

Don’t be worried that Mikey will end up with book deals and speaking deals.  The man is a idgit folks.  He has no market value other than as a human punch line.  He might end up working with Cy’s not-for-profit social agency although I forsee that marital bond collapsing within a year.  The lesson in all of this is NOT the danger of one nitwit in a power position.  That will always be there.  The lesson is how that single nitwit enabled other opportunistic elements in society (i.e. “the gang”, The N&O, the race-baiters, et al) to glom on for their respective warped agendas.

ALL of us make mistakes and exercise poor judgement on occasion.  In that we can empathize …. But Mike Nifong had nine months to say “I screwed up and I want to make it right.”  What did he say?  “I still think something happened in that bathroom.”  Additional civil and criminal suits will have his doughy carcass dragged thru the streets for several months …. But …. it’s over.


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