Just Hired Help

July15/ 2000

How’s it going out there?  I’m talking to my fellow UNCers.  The rest of you can listen in but I’m checking the pulse of Tar Heel Nation today.  As I compose this, I don’t know what’s gonna happen but apparently something is gonna happen.   And it looks like a bit more than just no dessert with dinner.

I’m getting speculations from all points of the rumor compass.  Everything from multiple player suspensions to multi-year bowl bans.  One of the rival loonie bins is saying – the NCAA plans to salt the turf of Kenan Stadium so grass will never grow there ever again.  Can they do THAT?  I don’t think so.

My best guess is: (1) Marvin Austin is toast …. (2) 2-3 others get modest suspensions ….. (3) No institutional sanctions at all.

Being investigated is foreign soil for True Blues.  As with 8-20, nothing in our raising prepared us for THIS.  It is also foreign soil for our rivals.  While Wuffs and Devils and Pirates may have had such fantasy dreams of our being in such a pickle, they never saw it happening either.

My close acquaintances are of the level-head persuasion.  They expected something like this might be a natural progression of chasing BCS glory that began with the hiring of The Pale Rider.

If you are a recruiting addict you’ve been turning backflips for the past three years as John “Go get’em” Blake went head-to-head against the football juggernauts and brought home a goodly number of GA, FL, TENN, LSU, et al –type of players.  If these kids were at those schools they would be their type of kids.   Guess what – they ARE their type of kids.

Did anyone really think there was magic in that Old Well water?  A sip or two and a testosterone overloaded mass of swaggering rage in cleats would become a docile

A docile afficianado of Charles Kuralt

afficianado of Charles Kuralt, Alexander Julian and James Taylor.  Did anyone REALLY think that?  Yes, some really did.

These are not bad kids. They have simply been programmed since the 6th grade to be fast-twitch hand grenades with loose pins; capable of knocking the snot out of anyone wearing a different color jersey …. or anyone that might look sideways at them while walking down Franklin Street.  They can’t always tell the difference …. or assume there is any reason they should have to tell the difference, if they don’t want to.

Its an entitlement thing thats hard to explain to normal people.  It is very prevalent in linebackers, pit bulls and komodo dragons.

Carolina has had a few stone-cold dead-eyed crazies over the years.  LT being the quintessential example.  It’s anyone’s guess if he EVER entered a classroom building other than to escape rain or pee. There have been other less heralded examples of dubious (student) athletes who have been Saturday heroes among Kenan’s fabled pines.

Football is a violent game.  Totally sane men could never play it.  These kids don’t come equipped with on/off switches for Sunday thru Friday.  Every team has a handful of Code Reds.  The difference is now we have about 40 of’em at one time.

Most of you are embarrassed over all this.  You’ve avoided your State and Duke friends.  You may never be able to face them again.  Don’t worry.  They will find you soon.

Some folks are mentioning The Burly Blue-Bleeder.  John Bunting (turned 60 last week) had a ton of “want to” but not enough “how to”.   But John knew it was Hinton James and not James Hinton.  Ol’ Roy can be nuttier than a fruitcake, but he’s a Carolina Fruitcake.

Are you angry at Marvin Austin and his swaggering buddies for bringing down this embarrassment on your university.  Or are you angry at the NCAA for hassling UNC for some dumb rule that everybody breaks. ….. How you answer THAT one is a biggie.  Again, no right / no wrong.  It’s all a matter of each fan’s priorities and perspective.  Regardless of your answer – there are many who think otherwise.

When this current NCAA Investigation dust settles, it will be interesting to see if the priorities of the UNC Board of Trustees and Executive Administration have been affected.  I bet some of you are wondering about that, aren’t you.

If Carolina does mean something to you.  You are proud of its lofty stature and your link to all that it is.  If you consider yourself a proud member of the Carolina Family – Remember, at the end of the day:

Butch Davis & his guys are not Family.
They are – Just Hired Help


Good Night Choo Choo  /  Good Night BobLee



Gotta Watch TV:
The Glades – coolest smart-aleck cop on TV – if I was a TV cop I’d be John Lockworth.

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