Just Butch = Just Fine!

BobLee
January18/ 2000

… BLS, the BOT, and the BOG all heartily approve the hiring of Butch Davis as the next Head Football Coach at UNC.  A for real head coach with legitimate credentials who doesn’t wear funny sunglasses or have a mustache.  There are 8 y/o children at Governors Club who have never seen such a thing in their entire lives.  Hark The Sound of relief, joy, and an odd desire to torch a Honda on Franklin Street.

Anyone not very very excited about the future of Carolina Football is either a rival bottom-feeding loonie, a commie faculty squirrel, “not a terrorist”, or too concerned about advance ticket sales for Cosmo Kramer’s upcoming concert at The Apollo.

   “just Butch” hit a homer on Monday.  

    I’m sure 99.99% of my fellow UNCers share my enthusiasm after seeing and hearing “just Butch” in his debut.

What most of you don’t know, until now, is that there are going to be lots more “improvements” to Carolina Football beyond the on-field performance.  “Gameday in Chapel Hill” is achanging too.  I can’t say any more but remember you heard it here first.  The much maligned UNC Athletic Dept support staff are getting ready to kick butt big time. BobLee’s telling you … you’re gonna like it A LOT. ….. PLUS, “just Butch” is on board.

   Did you like that e-mail video from Butch … how about those full page ads across the state today … pretty cool … huh?  Lots more cool stuff coming … bwahahahahaha!

Wednesday night is looming large … #1 ranked Buckeyes coming in to play Ol’ Roy’s boys.  National TV … a packed Legend’s Lair … Good chance “Butch” might make an appearance … Good chance BobLee and The Mizzus might be on hand too.

    The Blue Messiah … BL Swagger … The Pale Rider … all under one roof for the first time EVER!  I’ll be the one with the beard and cowboy boots.

  •  Q:  What has Carl Torbush accomplished that Butch Davis has not?  ….A:  A winning record against Frank Beamer.  Butch is 1-5 vs Beamer.  Carl is 1-0.
  •  OK, I am impressed that, according to Dickie, Dickie did this all by himself.  But I was surprised to learn that Dickie discovered the Salk Vaccine, laid the first Trans-Atlantic cable, drew up the plans for D-Day AND wrote the original screenplay for “It’s A Wonderful Life”.  I vote we immediately rename The Old Well the Richard “Dickie” Baddour Water Fountain. … The “Dickie did too do it” was laid on just a tad too thick to be believed … BUT let’s move on folks, lets move on.
  •  It was symbolic that this seminal event was not held in either of the Skippa Bowles Hire’em & Fire’em Rooms.  That Doug Dibbert let the Athletic Department borrow the Watts Hill Room was cool.  Wonder if they used the water pitchers from Skippa’s room?
  •  A great deal has changed around Chapel Hill with the hiring of Butch Davis.  However, two long standing UNC traditions have not, and likely will not change … (1) 98% of Carrboro still hates God, heterosexuals, America, red meat, and bathing.  ….. (2) The Internet Loonies will second guess each of Butch’s first 34 decisions relative to recruiting, staff, width of stripes on uniforms, use of the word “Carolina”, and whether he really likes barbecue or is “just saying he does”.
  •  Yes, the faculty squirrels have heard that Butch is “a Christian” (AAARRRGGHH) but they will wait until he loses two games in a row before demanding he renounce The Bible and attend Islamic Sensitivity training.  Susie Estroff was concerned that while he does “play golf”, he did not mention “racquetball”.
  •  In a memo to concerned faculty squirrels, Meezie assured one and all that the “big bucks” Butch is getting will NOT interfere with upcoming plans to celebrate Fidel Castro’s birthday with a campus-wide salsa party and ceremonial burning of The Declaration of Independence.
  •  Butch is the first UNC Football coach in seven years to attend his hiring press conference wearing a tie that went with his shirt.  Alexander Julian was impressed. … plus, this guy’s wife wears pantyhose.

  •  John Edwards had planned to attend the presser but got delayed.  He was waiting in the parking lot of the Wal-Mart off 15-501 for his son and David Woolridge to go get another Playstation.  Told that Butch gets ALL of the $1.7 million, and not just 30%, Edwards replied “I’m in the wrong racket.”
  •  Kudos to whoever came up with that whippy idea of a jersey w/ Butch’s name on it.  That’s only been done 764,884 times. I was so hoping he would reach in a gym bag and pull out a blue cap.
  •  The term “bleeds blue” was not used during the entire press conference.  THERE IS A GOD! 
  •  All that stuff about “never been here before today” … “don’t know anything” … “just saw pictures” … etc. was really nice.  Probably good thing no polygraphs were allowed in the room.  Doesn’t matter.  Lets move on, lets move on.
  •  I held my breath for the first thirty minutes deathly afraid Butch would use the term “a sleeping giant”.  He did not … more reason to like him A LOT.
  •  Butch said he is a Techno-dinosaur relative to websites et al … but that his 13 y/o son, Drew, is a computer whiz.  Alas, at 13, Drew already exceeds the legal age for posting on any UNC fan site by two years.
  •  Butch did not mention Choo Choo, Bill Dooley, Lawrence Taylor, or Junior Edge.  That OBVIOUSLY means he plans to be gone by this time next year.
  • Bet you didn’t know …. Butch Davis is “part Cherokee Indian” …  (TRUE) … which means if we ever do get to a BCS game, the NCAA will not allow him on the sidelines carrying a tomahawk..  ……….. ergo,  both UNC and NCSU made “diversity hires” with their most recent new coaches.  Both Dickie and Lee claim they were “unaware of that fact” at the time of the hiring.
  •  UNTRUE Rumor … in honor of Butch’s Indian heritage … “The Old Well Walk” is NOT being renamed “The Trail of Tears”….  But his arrival at UNC IS being called “Unto This Hill”  (only 8 people out of 5,000 will “get” that one but those 8 just busted a gut!)
  •  Further proof that THERE IS A GOD! … no mention of Andy Griffith, grits, sweet tea, NASCAR, or James Taylor … and especially that Chancellor Moeser did not clap like a gay seal. 
  •  Who says “we never learn”? … there were no players sitting on the front row wearing droppy pants, sideways ballcaps, and FUBU shirts.
  •  No truth to rumor that kindly ol’ Bill Friday suggested Butch enter the press conference riding a Harley and dressed like Larry The Cable Guy.
  •  At 2:55 “the players” submitted a signed petition to Dickie wanting Andre Powell named Head Coach For Life.  Dickie tried to call Andre to offer him the job but had forgotten to charge his cellphone AGAIN.
  •  In his final meeting with the team, Burly John assured them he was definitely NOT going to Texas.

  BobLee will indeed be at the game on Wednesday … using Dale Jr’s tickets and sitting w/ Branford Marsalis in the middle of Napa Valley.  If you see us, give a shout. …. maybe Ersky will drop by … ya just never know ….

 >>><<<

 With the Browns, Butch’s VP For Player Personnel was part of what “legendary NFL momemt”?

>>><<<

  Colonel William Barret Travis was commander of The Alamo.  Jim Bowie, Sammy Baugh, and Stevie Ray Vaughan were there but Travis was in charge.

  Many thanks to long time pal, BeoWolf, for a ticket and his fine company at the NCSU v Michigan game on Monday.  Big W for Sidney.  ….. Lots of chat about “next Wuff HC”.  Deal breaker for Bill Cowher … demanding stadium be renamed “Carter-CHINley”.  If Cowher waits until about mid-January to give Lee his answer, the only choices left will be Joe Scarpati and CJ Hunter (ouch!).

  Not a good day for everyone … Pam Anderson and Kid Rock = Splitsville! … whoever was holding ” 6 months” in the betting pool, YOU WIN!

  Want to e-mail BobLee?  …   [email protected]

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