January18/ 2000

… I hope you saw at  least the last 30 minutes of Boise St vs Oklahoma… It was INCREDIBLE SPORTS THEATER! …. Sports CAN BE Incredible Theater if we let it be…  Neither my self-worth nor the milk money was at stake …. Just pure hedonistic pleasure watching an incredible sports event…. BobLee recalls a few others …. Some thoughts about Nick Saban and Bob Knight and the tons of hypocrasy being expended on their behalf.

Let’s do our Stumper right now …. “the phrase Great Googly Moogly came from where?”  Little Ricky will know and probably JDanTheWuff, but most of you’ans will draw a blank on this one.  It was an all timer.

Even with my old pal Mayor Matt Roberts a major honcho in the Sooner Club, I had no dog in the Fiesta Bowl fight.  I don’t hate Oklahoma for whatever b-sh*t reasons I’m suppose to.  Nor do I hate Boise State for whatever b-sh*t reasons I’m suppose to hate them.  I’ve misplaced my Dummies Guide To Who To Hate produced in cooperation with Rivals and  Without that guide, I just watch the game and don’t grind my teeth down to powder.   Try it … it’s quite nice.

Until Monday night, I had not watched a total of 45 minutes of bowl games.  Not a personal protest against the BCS or anything … just the side effects of having a life.  I would have likely watched The Peach Bowl (sue me, I like the old non-corporate names!) and The Alamo Bowl but I was playing Wolfman Jack on WPTF at the time.  I did keep an eye on a video monitor however.

Quick note about The Alamo Bowl.  Longtime SSays readers will recall The purty momma theory for drafting Little Leaguers.  My pal Riverwalk Bobby in San Antone employed that to win back-to-back league championships in the Alamo Heights “09” League.  Well Riverwalk Bobby hisownself was El Presidente for this year’s Alamo Bowl.  One of my bevy of amigos of the Hebrew persuasion, Bobby said it was like five Bar Mitzvahs with all the speechifying he had to do.  He and his male offspring got to flip the coin and everything.  Bobby’s game sold more tickets than EVER in Alamo Bowl history (OK, it helped that Austin is an hour away!)

It was only 25 years ago that Bobby and I were judging Glitter Girls auditions for the Kansas City Kings.  Phil Ford was simultaneously conducting his own form of auditions of the nubile mid-western pulchritude. ….. excuse me, I just recalled Born To Glitter(see pic!), Thunder Thighs, and Cleopatra, let me regain my composure… Yeowzaaa!

Bobby is now a globe-circling media mogul.  His monthly travel calendar includes more mysterious “ports of call” than the first 30 minutes of a James Bond movie.  In September he was actually in Bombay, Aukland, and Budapest.  Any list of better people than Bobby Cohen is a really short list.

The pure thrills of the Fiesta Bowl are why you should watch sports.  Athletes competing with all out effort … at least four plays that were this is the game right here and in each case, the team with its back to the wall persevered.   That Statue of Liberty at the end had Prince Albert doing backflips.  It reminded me of a few other “worth the ticket price and more” contests.

Buffalo versus Houston Oilers in the NFL Playoffs in the mid 90s.  Buffalo’s second half comeback from a bazillion down was incredible.

Buffalo again vs Tennessee in the playoffs and the last play kick-off return Trickerooski by the Titans.

The Immaculate Reception by Franco Harris.

Last year’s Rose Bowl … The Vince Young Game … was “pretty good”.

The UNC win over Miami (aka The Connor Barth “got laid” Game) was “pretty good” too.

That MLB playoff game last year between Atlanta and Houston that went 18 innings and had Hank Aaron and Biff Pocoroba playing shortstop and 3rd by the end.  1960 Series 7th game … Mazeroski HR in the bottom of the 9th over Yogi’s head in Forbes Field.

That Valparaiso win in “March Madness” a few years ago.

Yes, the State v UNC game in October ’04 in Kenan.  Yes, that sent respective Shineolas into head exploding conniptions as otherwise worthless lives were redeemed in some cases and made truly worthless in the other case.

   The Mike Fox Moochies in Omaha last Spring.  Impossible to have more exciting sports drama than that.

Ol’ Roy’s boys in Cameron last year.  Yes, I did “care” who won that one but even if I hadn’t, it was a great game.

I recall a game in Carter during #17’s senior campaign … Wuffs vs Hoos.  A Thrilla.  Earlier that season I flew up to “the Shoe” to watch #17 against the Buckeyes.  As exciting a football game as ever there’s been.

Indeed … when you take that stoopid gotta hate somebody factor out of a game, watching competitive sports can be a very pleasant and exciting experience.  For an ’07  resolution, vow to “just enjoy” sports this year. …. OK, some of you sad souls can continue to use MY TEAM WON so I must be a winner too as the highlight of your otherwise pathetic lives … but you better keep buying those NC Education Lottery tickets too.

Everybody is pissed at Nick Saban.  WHY?  The only difference between Nick and ten other top level coaching changes in the past five years is the ever-increasing dollar totals … and that’s just Fat Red Elephant Monopoly money anyway.  Ya think some constipated Mack-hating Tar Heels will go down to Miami and teach Dolphin fans how to say HE LIED TO DEM BOYS!  Hate to break the news to you folks, but there are folks in Coral Gables that say Butch leaving them was no different than Nick jumping ship … and they are probably correct.

And, hold on to your hats, there’s folks in Lawrence KS what don’t love Ol’ Roy nearly as much as we do … cause Ol’ Roy said I don’t give a sh*t about Carolina about 48 hours before he sat in the Dean Dome presser and cried I’m Home!.   So before you get too sanctimonious about that lying no good Nick Saban best you take off those blinders.

And while we’re being sanctimonious, lets count how many sports pundits can write their version of Bobby Knights’ wins don’t really count because he threw a chair, and cussed, and did mean stuff to people, and looks funny in that red sweater, and and and and and and HE’S NOT DEAN. …. And meanwhile, Yea Olde Legend just picks up the phone to call his long time friend and says Congratulations, Bobby.

Big News From Duke … President Backpedaling Brodhead has invited the two Duke undergraduate victims of The Stoopid DA & The Lying Ho to return to Duke as students.  It would have been even nicer if he had read out the names of the 88 self-righteous knee-jerking sumbitches that signed “that letter” last Spring … paraded each of those sanctimonious sacks of crap out and driven a Greyhound bus over the entire worthless 88 of’em.   You want to make amends, Brodhead.  I’ll show you where TO START.   We hope the families sue Brodhead and Duke for bazillions+ $$$.

Another Duke note … Former Duke QB, Scotty Glacken passed away this week in the DC area.  Scotty was a Blue Devil in the mid 60s.

 I’m warning you folks right now.  I have a Killer Column on a not-beaten-to-death aspect of The Stoopid DA & The Lying Ho Mess  that I will be posting soon.  Yes … BobLee writes his 16th column on this … but this one is already drawing Pulitzer attention from those who have seen the early drafts.   It’s not gonna make me any friends around South McDowell Street though.  That’s not its intended purpose.

Crash is manuvering to drop the whole mess in early February and smirkingly say … “it’s over. We can all move on.” …. Wrong, Nitwit … it’s over when you reimburse the three victims for EVERY SINGLE $ in legal fees that your blithering incompetence has cost them.


   BobLee is returning to Legends Lair AGAIN on Wednesday courtesy of Prince Albert  The Henderson Hottie … and former UNC BBers Danny Lotz.  I hope Ol’ Roy says something again.  He can whip up a crowd nearbout as good as Danny Lotz’s father-in-law. ….. Bonus Stumper – Who is Danny Lotz’ Father-in-law? 

   NOTE to Platinum Pals … I said Butch hired Carl Pagano … it’s CHUCK Pagano.

   2007 starting out with a BANG!  Picked up Five BobLeeALIVE gigs in the past two days.  I’m in a race against Kid’s tuition invoices.  So far, I’m leading.

   Want to e-mail BobLee …. [email protected]

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