Don’t Waste The Duct Tape!

January18/ 2000

… THE DEED IS DONE – John Bunting Era will end with Duke game on Nov 25.  Official Announcement Sunday night. ….. More as more is learned ……..  On a drizzly October night in Hooville, the 2006 Tar Heel football team officially “flatlined”.  The pre-game fireworks created a smokescreen in front of the UNC fans section blocking our vision … in the 3rd Quarter, we pleaded for more fireworks.  And a question for “Forty Point Frank”?

 NOTE:  The Swaggers drove up to Hooville on Thursday … got back to SSays World HQ at 3:00 AM.  BLS had to be at Carmel CC in Charlotte at 8:00 AM … grabbed an egg sandwich at Mebane WAFFLE HOUSE and two big cans of “Amp” at BP Station in Gibsonville.  This column was written after 31 hours without sleep … PROCEED WITH CAUTION … Gawd only knows what BobLee said.


   Excuse me “Forty Point” but was that “bounce pass in the left flat” a top gainer at Fresno?  Since you called it twice, figure it was a favorite of yours.  For $18,000/game would you at least diagram that one on a napkin for us.

  Congrats to Marv … we held’em under the 30 point “massacre line”.  If we lose to ND by 60 will that count as two massacres?

  Tell Tyler that Dickie Baddour called his new stepmamma a “floozie”

  The blue stripe in the pants needs to be wider

  The blue stripe in the pants needs to be narrower

  Can Officer Swain play QB?

  Can Katherine Evans play QB?

  Does Chuckie Burnette have eligibility left?

At least Joe Dailey made the DB “work” for this interception.

Bring the peeing wall back to Kenan

We played one too many Thursday night games this year.  ESPN hates Carolina.

Does algroh own a lot a Governors Club?

Lets bring Steve Marshall and Dave Huxtable back as coordinators and give them each “a lot at Governors Club”.

Even Matt Doherty won at least 8 games.

“Rita From Chester” was sighted on top of the pergola with a sniper’s rifle trained on Andre Powell.

The little blond cheerleader with the ponytail has the best abs

You knew it was bad when Woody spent the entire 4th quarter describing Morris Mason’s sweet potato pie recipe.

Overnight Neilson Ratings say we “lost most of the west coast” by 8:05.  By 9:30 even Kirk Herbstreit’s mom had switched to CSI-Short Pump.

Does Kirk Herbstreit own a lot at Governors Club?

Whatever happened to that hanging effigy of Dean?

When Jones Angell called Jesse Holley “Carlos Beltran” you kinda knew what game he was watching.

Why was algroh so mad on that 4th quarter call?  He heard the backjudge call him “Frank Beamer’s bitch”.

Dickie wanted to call a press conference on Friday but Kirschy can’t find the water pitchers.  Decided to postpone it until the day after “signing day”.

Meezie thinks the feather in the Cavalier’s hat is “jaunty”.  He has ordered one for Ramses.

Mikey Nifong took DNA samples of the entire UNC team to see if any of them were even present in Scott Stadium last night.  “Kim/Nikki” says she is pretty sure they were not but will say they were for a thimble of Andy Rooney’s bathwater.

John Edwards declares UNC Football a “poverty case”.  Claims George Bush made Dickie hire John Bunting and Edwards now regrets voting for it. 

Dean Smith runs ad in Daily Tar Heel claiming to be a lifelong Baptist and a Democrat.  He promises to pray that no UNC players get killed at Notre Dame. 

New York Mets outscore Tar Heels 1-0.

NCAA to initiate even newer “speed up” rules for UNC-Wake game.  Clock to start with Old Well Walk.

Dick Vermeil watched UNC – UVa game on ESPN … started crying again.

Dickie Baddour addressed theTar Heel team in locker room after Virginia loss … he assured them that Mack Brown WILL NOT leave them for Texas … ABSOLUTELY NOT!

 As BobLee’s computer guy “Doctor Danny” say:

“Sometimes BobLee alls you can do is Shut Down and Reboot!”

For Caroilina Football … it’s that time.


   BobLee stands firm that the LONG RANGE future of Carolina Football is still “in capable hands”.  As for “short term” we are officially in “grab ahold and hang on cause anything could happen at any time” mode.

  Once a change is official we enter the infamous “coach search zone”.  Based on past such experiences, at least 7 board loonies will simply EXPLODE each day due to “bullsh*t rumor overload”.  The record is 24 when Calipari was visiting West Rawlee. 


 Where did Kirk Herbstreit play his college ball?


 Scarface and 49er star … Al Pacino was Tony MONTANA!  Even Little Ricky missed this one.  

If you driving on I-85 between Charlotte and Raleigh on Friday afternoon and see an F-150 coming at you … get the hell outta the way … the driver is probably fast asleep.

Want to e-mail BobLee?

[email protected]

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